It takes a long while for me to calm down.Alex’s hug helps, but we still spend the rest of our practice time huddled under the table. He only backs off once I first start pulling away from him.“…You alright?”Still unable to speak, I just nod and crawl out from under the table. We both leave its shade, standing still in the room.Alex stares at me for a good minute before he murmurs, scratching at the back of his head.“…If you, uh, want to practice some other time, I’m cool with that.”I nod, feeling too tired to think too much.I turn and stumble over to my phone. Thankfully, I got a sturdy one after the pool incident with my phone insurance. Only some cosmetic scratches…phew.When I check for technical issues, my screen shows more messages from that mystery number. I quickly block it, deleting all the messages.“…Rrr-raincheck.”“Yeah… Later.”Without much of a response, I leave the room and head home.I never got any good sleep last night, so maybe I can get some at home now.…I
With their most recent win, the Chillers are just a few games away from qualifying for the playoffs and Division I nationals. The Bernard Saints were one of their greatest adversaries—which, I highly doubted that, considering how the Chillers swept them.But Alex sat me down and taught me how the point system works, showing me past games. No, the Bernard Saints were a high-quality team. The Chillers were just better.Still, even after surpassing their greatest opponents, there’s others that could give them a run for their money. Therefore, the Chillers amp up the difficulty of their training.I’m not sure how he does it, practicing hockey four days a week and still finding time for our play. The coach even moved practice to early morning rather than after school. Sure, it’s to reduce other scheduling conflicts, but 5 AM is still so early.Worried he won’t keep it together, I decide to try to help. Maybe if I make him some snacks, he can eat them and stay energized? So, I use some of m
“Uhm, so. After this sss-season, you’re expected to play. In the playoffs?”“Yeah,” Alex hums. His hands are still wrapped with bandages, though he seems to be able to move them just fine. The bandage on his nose may come off soon as well, though he flinches when he scrunches his nose.Ever since the most recent game, we’ve been hanging out in school more often. If we pass each other, we might even walk to class. It’s strange, not taking the back hallways like I usually do, but the natural light coming in the windows makes things look brighter.“We’ve got a few more weekend games, but playoff should start a bit after April 1(st). We’ve got this, though.” He grins, flexing his arm. “We don’t go down easy, and that last fight won’t stop us.”“Hmm… Just be carrr—hmmh. Careful to not, uhm. Get too hurt.”“Yeah, yeah, no worries. I’ll be safe. Ah, this is my turn here.”With an easy we didn’t have before, he pulls me in and kisses the top of my head. Despite feeling my heartbeat ramp up im
“Wh…at. What are you talking about?”Her hand slams into the locker door beside my head, making me flinch.“Don’t play dumb with me, bimbo. I’ve figured it out. I know all about your little game plan.”When I don’t say anything in return, she scoffs.“I don’t know why you can’t just stick to one boy. I knew it. From the time you went to that New Years party, you’ve been gunning for Oliver since then, haven’t you? No…even earlier than that.”“That’sss not what—”“But you ended up with Alex. Alex, of all people. But you’re still so fuckin’ unhappy, huh? Have to try to steal my boyfriend, too?”I feel irritation bubbling in my chest. And usually, I would just let it go, not wanting to bother with people who don’t listen.But I’m very done with this mess, and I don’t want anything more to do with this. So, if I want it done… I have to nip it in the bud myself.“Nooo, captain of the hockey team isn’t enough for a little drama dweeb who can’t even speak right. You have to—”“You’re…the one.
It took me a while to calm down enough and gather my energy together to move from that spot. But Alex spoke to me the entire time, right until he, miraculously, ran out of things to say for the moment. We ended up not hanging up, just breathing on both sides of the phone until I got home.I’ve been sleeping a bit better recently despite anxiety with the performance coming up. Getting home that day and imagining Alex talking as I started falling asleep…uhm. As embarrassing as it is to say, I can’t deny that may be a part of why.Anyway, I get to school the next day with a fresher mind than I’ve had for the last few.It’s good that I am since the upcoming play is only three days away. Thankfully, it’s on a night Alex doesn’t have a hockey game, so he’ll be free to play his part. Still, seeing all the effort he puts into his own interests and mine…If only Alex wasn’t a bit of a mindless flirt, he’d be a really good boyfriend.I think I’m mature enough to admit that.He’d be pretty good
Whatever happens with Danielle and Oliver isn’t anything I really care to pay attention to anymore. Their lives are theirs, and mine is here. Maybe they will now finally leave me alone altogether.I have enough on my plate as it is. Which, at this point, is about 80% the fact that, for the first time in four years, I’m going to be on stage. Moreover, I’m going on stage as a lead.I feel like I’ve been doing pretty well, all things considered. Or, maybe, the drama club is doing really well.Because no matter what I try, I can’t stop stuttering.It’s something that’s always bothered me. Apparently, I was stuttering almost immediately as I learned how to speak.Certain Ss and Rs always end up slithering and rolling from my lips. Even when I know the next word I want to say, sometimes my voice stops against my will, leaving my sentences incomplete. If I get tired enough, I’ll just say individual words and hope that gets the point across.But the thing about being on stage is, well, abridg
…For some reason, the comparison between the two kinda hurts.But he’s not wrong. Just like in acting, the roles work best if the actors mesh well with each other, pick up on each other’s cues, and remember their lines. We stumbled a lot in the beginning, but…We’ve gotten so good at it at this point, even I’m sometimes forgetting it’s just a role I’m playing.Just like with actors, specifically ones that practice method acting, we can get lost in our emotions. Or rather, the emotions we feel appear strongly. As real as breathing, as solid as steel.Meshing with Alex like this has become easy… And though I think about the crowd, like the bullies or the girls vying for his attention, it’s somehow less important than the play itself.Right…Because what I’ve always loved about theater are the stories. Whether they have lessons in them or simply tell the lives of non-fiction or fictional characters, I’ve always enjoyed them.I enjoyed playing in them because it was just fun. Being with A
I stare at her with wide eyes, shocked.“But…why?”“What do you mean ‘Why’? You were great up there! Not only did you and Alex help refine the script and storyline, but your performance was fantastic! Carter still sent me the details. I know you adlibbed that line during a titular scene. And it fit well! It’s a waste to have you stay in the background, so I want to see you on stage more.”For a moment, I’m speechless. Anxiously, I look back at Alex, who gives me two thumbs up. But that’s not reassuring at all!“…What about the, uhm, sss…stuttering?”She hums. “What about it?”“Won’t that rrr-ruin some of the linesss?”“Oh, hon.” She starts counting off with her fingers. “Bran Walden, Yearny Easton, Emilia Frank. That’s just three of my favorite actors who stutter or had one at some point. Emilia Frank’s is neurogenic, so she always takes slower-speaking roles. Still, isn’t she amazing?”“Ah…”Mrs. Taylor walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder.“Having a stutter doesn’t mean you can