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11. The combats

[Diana]

It’s beautiful how the heart bleeds almost our entire life, but we notice it only when an invisible piece of it goes missing.

An external emotion becomes so ingrained in us that when it’s cut off, we feel the pain physically — as if a part of us was removed.

He was the nameless external emotion that I hadn’t been able to cut off even after dying. He was that invisible piece attached to my heart which I hadn’t been able to cut off.

Just because I ignored my feelings and didn’t acknowledge them anymore didn’t mean they weren’t there.

Even today when I shut my eyes, I see his light grey eyes. Two emotions jolted through my body — one that made my heart pound with warmth and the other that cut it cold.

I saw my life and death in those eyes with a throb in my heart.

I felt my forever and never in those arms with flames on my skin.

Even now, I feel so much for him I go numb.

The worst part is I still don't name those emotions and feelings for him.

I should hate him. I really want
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