2|Fall

My fiance’s room housed the cacophony of their moans. Her whimpers of pleasure mingled with his grunts of satisfaction. She screamed his name; he groaned hers - Ashley, that is her name. For a moment, I wished I reached the wrong balcony, although I am a hundred percent sure that I didn’t. For a moment, I hoped I heed Erik’s request of waiting in the morning when the party is all over to come and see him.

It lasted for hours, maybe minutes, but who the hell cares? Clearly not them. I backed up on the wall beside the sliding door, needing something to lean on to, looking up at the sky, loving and hating it at the same time.

I loved this place; I loved this room; I love the man fucking Ashley, only a few feet away from me. The sound of the headboard banging against the concrete wall is deafening. His commands to her to get into every position are loud and clear because his bed is just on the other side of this wall where I am frozen.

I wanted to leave the moment she came for the first time - with his mouth - I knew because she screamed so. But my feet won’t move on their own accord. It seems that my body is doing what it wants to do, all at its own will, because I am very uncoordinated at the moment. I think my heart dropped to my feet and my brain melted or evaporated somehow.

Who in their right mind would listen to her fiance fuck another woman, anyway? No one, just some idiot named Zia.

I regret wearing an almost lingerie kind of dress, it’s not helping me keep my body warm at all.

So this is heartbreak.

The glacial sensation that bathed my frame is colder than the experience I had climbing Mt. Everest. It’s more painful than the prickle and muscle soreness I gained when I did my first attempt at cliff diving. This has got to be tougher than holding my breath 50 feet underwater, free diving with whale sharks.

I closed my eyes, taking a sharp inhale and exhale.

No wonder some people hated ‘Love’.

After a while of banging, moaning, and grunting, the silence of the night finally prevailed again. I wasn’t crying. No, at least not until I got home. What remained was their ragged breathing while I held mine. Now that they are done hammering each other, I fear that my shallow puffs would give away my location.

“So…” Ashley was first to speak. “What happens to us now?” Her voice is as sultry as ever, raspy from all the screaming but still sexy as it could ever get.

“What do you mean?” Calvin answered. Ashley’s giggle accompanied the shifting echo of the mattress.

“Stop, Cal… God, where do you get the stamina…” Calvin chuckled. “I mean, you said you are engaged to that flat board. Will you call off the engagement so we could be together?”

Silently, I was hoping he would at least defend me from her insults. But if I thought hearing them have sex was the worst part, well damn, I was wrong. “No. The wedding will take place as planned, Ash. My parents will disown me if I don’t push through with it.”

The girl huffed, “then what about me?”

“What do you mean, what about you? We’ll still see each other, you know how much I love you.”

“I don’t want to be your mistress,” her voice elevating away from the sultry tone.

Oh, now she dared to act as if the idea of being his secret lover enrages her? What title would she give herself right now, then?

“Come on, Ash, we talked about this,” Calvin pleaded. “Five years and I can divorce her. Just give me some time, babydoll.”

At that moment, I couldn’t stop my tears anymore.

How could he utter those words? It seems like I was living a nightmare. I don’t want to believe anything that’s coming from his mouth. The boy I loved since I was sixteen, the man who made me smile whenever I am sad… planned all of this?

I wiped my tears, having enough of their conversation. There’s just so much I can bear and I’m sure if I hear another betrayal from him, I’d go in there and do something I would regret.

With shaking legs, I climb on the handrailing of the balcony. The sweat on my palms made it hard for me to grab hold of the marble surface, making me lose balance and slipped off.

Oh fuck.

Both of my hands grabbed hold of the railings as I tried to pull myself up.

Since I acted on impulse, I’m too far from the wall for leverage. I looked down to the second floor’s balcony and to where Erik stood guard earlier, glad that he wasn’t there anymore or he would probably raise an alarm to the entire manor. I breathe out, swaying my hips to reach the bottom rail with my feet. The stiff wind slipped through my dress, making me shiver.

My clammy palms are slipping further, I can feel it, the weight of my body is hanging on my fingertips as I try to sway my feet once more on a make it or break it attempt. When my hand slipped and my foot didn’t get a good footing on the bottom rail, I knew I was in for a fall.

I closed my eyes, preparing myself for a dreaded impact, but powerful hands gripped mine.

I looked up to the person holding my hand, but because of the darkness, I could barely make my savior’s face. Begrudgingly, I hope it’s not Calvin. I’d rather take the fall than be saved by him.

The strong arms pulled me up as if I weighed nothing, and soon I was standing on the ground again, heart thumping wildly. The same hands that saved me covered my mouth, stopping me from uttering a word when I had no intention of making any sound.

He smelled of cigarettes and alcohol, but the powerful scent of cedarwood and fresh rain somehow calmed my nerves.

I nodded my head, conveying to my savior that I won’t utter a word. He held my wrist; I was sure he’s a man… a well-built man to be able to haul my 5’5 height and 126 lbs like a sack of cotton. My savior tugged me along with him to the edge of the balcony. We are looking over the room beside Calvin’s while the pair inside the room continue to talk and giggle.

He let my hand go, hopping off of the balcony, jumping towards the other side like he’s a mass of air. His shadow, by the help of the dull skies and security lights on the ground, motioned for me to jump as well.

It’s a good 40 feet high, a dare to fall versus standing here and continue to listen to Calvin and Ashley.

May the odds be with me.

I lift my shaking legs, climbing on the railings again, the wind swaying my hair as I stare at the stranger’s open arms. With a deep breath, I held it in and sprinted forward, breathing out as I felt his powerful arms engulfed me again, saving me from falling.

He chuckled, the sound so deep and sensual.

He placed his palms on the small of my back, guiding me inside the room that accompanied the balcony we jumped onto; the lights flickered on with the clap of his hand and my eyes almost bulged out when the face of my savior came to light.

“X?”

He smirked, walking towards the minibar, pouring himself a glass of bourbon.

I shuffled on my bare feet. Now the idea of the 40 feet fall is rather alluring than being in the same room as my supposed-to-be brother-in-law.

“Here,” his voice, his presence, it changed since the last time I saw him.

I swallowed hard. His company doesn’t only drag forward uncomfortable feelings, but a lot of emotions that I wanted to bury in the past. My eyes scanned the room instead of focusing on him, studying everything around him.

“Zia?” he called, now only a foot away from me, pulling my gaze from scrutinizing the war painting hanging on the wall adjacent to his bed.

“T-thank you for saving me.” I reached for the glass of alcohol he’s offering with both hands. The gentle touch of our skin, now that I am aware of who he is, fuels the shivering sensation I’m nursing further.

He shrugged his shoulders, unaffected by my uneasiness, turning back on me to sit on the couch across from his bed. Everything is black, white, and gray, the opposite of Calvin’s colorful room. It’s almost bare since he hasn’t been here since the funeral.

He lifted the rock glass into his lips, the umber liquid flowed smoothly from his lips down his throat. I was ogling him - I realized - so I averted my gaze from him. His eyes remained on me - watching as I shifted on my foot, eyeing his bed, needing to sit. The adrenaline from the almost fall is threatening to wear off any minute now, and I’m afraid my legs would give out.

The mattress dipped under my weight; I lifted the glass to my lips, aware of his watchful eyes as I stared at the same war painting.

“You’re welcome,” he said, finally done with silent watching.

“Hm?” I turned my gaze back to him, finding him still staring at me.

Crap.

My make-up must’ve been smudged by now.

Double crap!

Awareness washed over me. Because of the style of my dress, I must’ve looked like a slut that came to seduce his baby brother.

I pulled down my skirt to the farthest that it could reach, and crossed my legs.

“H-how did you know I was at Calvin’s?” his name, that liar’s name, I almost choked uttering it.

Xavier didn’t speak, he didn’t have to. His gaze is telling, he knows…

I lowered my eyes, staring at the remaining brown alcohol on my glass, and took the courage to finish everything. My face crumpled at the strong liquor that buried my throat, shaking my head, wishing the effect would give me more…

“You saw everything?”

Xavier nodded.

Well, fuck.