How to Win a Bet

 Most people would say they were quiet with people they hardly knew and were their normal fun and bubbly selves with people they were comfortable with. But for Bolaji, it was more complex than that. Bolaji believed he had two personalities. There was the quiet, sullen Bolaji and there was the fun-loving playful Bolaji. And he wasn’t sure which was the “real” him. Moreover, he usually decided what Bolaji he would display for a particular person or situation. Generally, sullen Bolaji appeared for his father, the periods when he was home, and anytime a teacher decided to grace his class with their presence. Fun Bolaji appeared with his younger sister, his friends, and formerly, his ex, Amanda.

 But if there was any place sullen Bolaji had to appear, it was English class, and Bolaji was presently in an English class that could easily contest for The Most Boring Class of All Time and cart away first prize. Mr Ekundayo, the most boring teacher in AHS, as voted by the students last year, was the English teacher for the senior classes. He was infamous for ploughing through his notes and explanation, not really caring if the students understood or not. The only thing that anyone could deem interesting in Ajaska’s class (students named him that for his hairstyle and glasses strongly resembled that of Papa Ajasco’s) was when even he noticed a huge percentage of the class were no longer paying attention, and then he picked someone to molest. It usually occurred in the form of him asking the unfortunate student a question, one that he knew the said student would not know the answer to, and then taunting the innocent student and finally using the person as a springboard to insult the entire class. English period that Friday was a double period exactly before break. Bolaji would have thought of the person who set the timetable as a lackwit if he had any idea on where else was appropriate to place English. Left to him, English would be scrapped off the timetable, along with Physics, and perhaps, Chemistry.

“Bayo,” Ajaska called out, and Bolaji turned his attention from what he had been looking at; Tola playing with his pens; to the front of the class. Ajaska had his “you’re in trouble” grim-smile face on. Bolaji turned to Bayo, who was the only other member of the SBG in his SS3B, Bolaji’s class. The boy had a lazy half smile on his face, like he really couldn’t care about what the teacher had to say. Bolaji hid a smile. Bayo was rarely in classes, and when he was, he never paid attention. But this was the first time Ajaska was going to pick on him. Bolaji felt sorry for his friend. 

“How nice of you to stop by, Bayo,” Ajaska’s tone sent a ripple of excitement through the class that his lectures could never achieve; Ajaska’s insults were more entertaining than a comedy show; except it was being directed at them in particular. Everyone had their full attention on Bayo now. “Of course, I wasn’t expecting you to stay this long.”

“Stop by? What....” Bayo looked nonplussed. “Sir, this is my class.”

“You don’t mean it!” Ajaska sounded so stupefied Bolaji wasn’t so sure if the man was joking or not. Or at least he would have been confused if he didn’t know how much of a good actor Ajaska was. Some students started giggling. On impulse, Bolaji looked at Niyi. She was as still as stone, her expression blank. Of course. “And here I thought you were just a guest in the class. But thanks for clearing me out on that.” The grim smile again. “So, Bayo, since you’re sure you’re a member of this class, you should be able to answer this question: ‘One of the women who work in the market have a shop’ or ‘One of the women who work in the market has a shop’. Kindly tell us the one you think is the correct statement and the reason why you think so. And please, stand up when I’m talking to you.”

  Bayo was silent for a moment after he stood. And then, with the stupid half smile still on his face, he ventured, “Er... the first one?” Bolaji was sure Bayo didn’t even know what the “first one” was.

 Ajaska’s facial expression didn’t change, but Bolaji knew immediately that Bayo was wrong. It wasn’t because students always tended to fail Ajaska’s questions or something else; but for the extra frown line that Bolaji had noticed always appeared on Ajaska’s face, right under his left cheek, when a student failed a question he’d asked. Bolaji was sure no one else had noticed that, that even Ajaska didn’t know that about himself. Sullen Bolaji was a very good observer, and by now Bolaji was sure he had noticed things about his classmates that they didn’t even know about themselves. Like the way Onyekachi’s hand was always under his trousers in his groin region anytime the class wasn’t so interesting. And the twitching of Niyi’s left eye when a teacher said they were presently going to illustrate something on the board. And that Ibukun, the nerd girl Niyi’s dog savaged at the beginning of the week, only smiled when she got the answer to a teacher’s question correctly. The rest of the time her face was arranged in a scowl, such that even by now, Bolaji wasn’t sure if the girl was pretty or not. He was sure he knew something about each and every of the 19 classmates he had. That was why he liked sitting at the back of the class; observing his classmates do things they didn’t even know they did held a weird fascination for him, and sometimes made the boring classes he had to attend interesting.

 “And why is that, Bayo?” Ajaska asked pleasantly.

 “Well, you said that when we use a phrase as the subject of the sentence, the em....” Bayo muttered something only he could hear “So that’s why.” He finished, still smiling.

 “Mr Bayo,” Ajaska started, returning Bayo’s smile. “I said... Well I didn’t quite hear what you said I said... but not to worry,” Ajaska quickly added as Bayo’s lips parted again, “I’m sure it would have been brilliant nonsense, just like everything you’ve ever said in class since you resumed kindergarten.” The giggling got louder. By now almost everyone was giggling, but Niyi was still impassive and Ibukun was still scowling, and Bayo’s half smile had slid off his face. “Bayo, how many times do you plan on writing JAMB?” Bayo grunted a reply that Ajaska did not bother to listen to before ploughing on. “If, at your age, you don’t even know a very simple correct English statement, I regret to say you will spend your entire life writing JAMB without result, at this rate.” Ajaska turned back to the board, and just when everyone thought he was done, he turned back picked another unsuspecting victim. “Collins!” Bolaji, with the rest of the class, turned to look at the boy. Collins was Ajaska’s arch-enemy, the student Ajaska mostly picked to strip of all dignity in the class. He had been grinning widely. “I don’t know why you’re laughing o. But perhaps if I were you, I would also be happy that I managed to enter the SS3 class after getting 48% in English Language.” And on and on he went. After finally asking Collins the same question and Collins also choosing the same option as Bayo, the man shook his head pitifully and turned to Ibukun, as he always did. “Ibukun, it appears you’re one of the few with live brain cells in this class. Kindly tell us what I wanted to hear from your brain dead colleagues.”

 Ibukun stood up, and laughter rang through the class again. After Niyi’s dog had destroyed her uniform, she had done a very bad job of patching it up, or perhaps, as good as could be done. Now it looked more like a rag than anything else. And she had worn it to school every day after that, ignoring the jitters from the rest of her classmates. Bolaji could not for the life of him fathom why she hadn’t gotten a new one, or used her backup uniform. Did she like the negative attention she was getting, or she was too busy reading to get a new uniform from the school store? Girls were weird sometimes. 

 “It’s the second statement, sir,” Ibukun said. “As you taught us under Concord, a singular noun takes a singular verb. The phrase ‘One of the women’ refers to just one out of the many women that work in the market, so it should take the singular noun ‘has’.”

 If Ajaska noticed the state of Ibukun’s uniform or the laughter from the class, he gave no sign. He simply smiled widely. “Brilliant, Ibukun, as always. Please sit down.” From the side of her face that was visible to him, Bolaji saw the wan smile for a moment before it vanished again.

 Thankfully, the siren went off for break before Ajaska could pick another prey. Bolaji got to his feet gratefully immediately Ajaska walked out, but Ana walked in at the same moment to inform him that a prefect’s meeting was going to hold in ten minutes.

**********

“Hey Niyi,” Bolaji said as soon as he spotted Niyi walking into the Biology lab, the venue for the meeting. 

 “Hi BJ,” she replied, smiling as she turned toward the sound of his voice. Her dog moved towards him and she followed. Bolaji quickly moved his legs away. He had a feeling the dog didn’t like him, and he didn’t want a repeat of The Ibukun episode. “Sorry about your friend, Bayo. Mr Ekundayo can be....” It was weird how Niyi’s blind pupils were fixed directly on his face, like she could see him.

 “Well...” Bolaji shrugged, and then he realised Niyi couldn’t see that so he continued, “... that’s how the man is. He won’t stop until he insults us all about hundred times. Well, apart from you and Ibukun, the pets.”

When he mentioned Ibukun her face clouded over, but she smiled when he was done talking. “Trust me; he can insult any of us,” Niyi said. She was by far warmer to him than she had been before, and it didn’t take a genius to guess why. For the past week they had been together for their prefect duties, and just as Bolaji had guessed, they had become something close to friends. Now he could afford to greet her without her narrowing her eyes in suspicion. 

Bolaji was about to say something when someone pinched him on the arm. He turned and saw that James, his friend, had appeared beside Niyi, and frowned. James was not a prefect, yet he was more punctual at prefects’ meetings than some prefects themselves, for reasons Bolaji did not fully understand. He was grinning widely from ear to ear, and the grin seemed to say, “Guy, well done o.” Bolaji’s frown grew deeper, and before he could warn James to leave him and Niyi in peace without words so Niyi wouldn’t know, the girl turned right to where James was standing and said, “Hello, James.”

James looked as flabbergasted as Bolaji felt. “What? How did you know it was me?” The guy was as tactless as he was annoying.

 Niyi smiled. “Your perfume, El Dorado.  You’re the only one who uses it I know of. Well, apart from my dad. And you always sit beside BJ during meetings.”

Bolaji frowned. He did not need to ask how Niyi knew that. Rebecca was obviously thorough when it came to telling Niyi about who sat where during prefect meetings. James must have been thinking along the same lines because he asked, “Where’s your second... I mean, Rebecca?”

If Niyi knew that James had been about to call her friend a dog she gave no sign. “Oh, I don’t know. She said she had to do something. I don’t think she’s coming today.” Of course not, Bolaji thought scornfully. Now that Bolaji and Amanda were no longer together, Amanda didn’t need a spy anymore. But, again, Bolaji wasn’t too sure. The whole school was buzzing with rumours about he and Niyi becoming fast friends. Didn’t Amanda, the scorned lover, need a spy now more than ever?

Turning to Bolaji, Niyi said, “Well, see you, BJ,” and walked off to sit at the other end of the room.

 James did not wait for Niyi to be completely out of earshot before he whispered, “Guy that girl na witch o. You know, I no even spray today she con dey talk sey na my perf she use know me.”

“You think she daft like you,” Bolaji said, suddenly angry at his friend. “Guy wetin dey do you sef? See as you spoil parole, you dey craze?”

 James did not seem repentant; in fact, his smile widened. “BJ BJ!!! Guy na you o!” He was practically screaming, and raising his hands above his head. Even in the current bustle going on in the lab, a few people turned towards their direction.

Bolaji quickly turned to Niyi in alarm, to make sure she hadn’t heard James. It didn’t look like it. She was engaged in conversation with Laide, the Head Girl. “Guy you mad ni? Drop your hand joor.”  He punctuated his sentence with a punch to James’ left arm, and finally, James sat down and said, grinning, “Oh boy you don draw first blood o. So na you go win this bet too.”

Bolaji rolled his eyes. He was prevented from replying when the Laide stood up and announced the meeting had begun. That was what the whole thing was, he thought; a bet. It had been important to do it last year, though, because that had been a prerequisite to get into the SBG. 

The SBG was an eternal group. It didn’t change; only the members did. As each new set of students were promoted to the final year class, new SBG members were suddenly announced. As the most coveted group to be a part of in AHS, the outgoing members of the group were left with the job of handpicking boys from the lower classes that they deemed worthy enough to succeed them. Every year, the SBG members had to come up with a creative, entertaining, but highly secretive task for their nominees, and the one with the highest points got nominated. Tasks had ranged from asinine ones like jumping in a public pool naked, to plain incredulous ones like flying the entire SBG group overseas for a night of expensive debauchery and fun. Bolaji knew all this because it was in the Book, the huge leather bound book that was passed down from SBG set to SBG set, recording the mischiefs of previous sets. The Book was only accessible by members of the SBG clan, which made their mischiefs top secret. 

When Bolaji had been nominated along with eight other guys back at the start of SS2, he had thought he had no chance being one of the selected five. All the other boys selected were infinitely more popular and wealthier than him. He only had his good looks to bank on, and that wasn’t nearly good enough. And, when the SBG members had revealed that all they wanted was someone who would date the most popular girl in their set and publicly dump her, it had suddenly seemed even harder. 

But, somehow, Bolaji had won that bet. It had been mostly due to Amanda. For some reason, when all of the nominees had been vying for her attention, Amanda had only noticed him. It still surprised him, and sometimes he still wondered what she saw in him. They had kept the relationship running throughout the year, and become the Power Couple of their set. Bolaji had even grown to like her after a fashion, when she dumped all her airs and started to act like a real human. He had not thought he was going to go through with dumping her, but, months ago when the opportunity had arisen, he had taken it. Amanda, as she was wont to, had been causing a scene at the party about how he had not called her for the past two days (which had been true). She was already starting to attract a crowd when he had quietly told her it was over and walked out of the place. 

Bolaji had won by a landslide. The rest of the guys that were picked – James, Anthony, Habeeb and Bayo – had been the forerunners for Amanda’s attention before she had agreed to date Bolaji. But, Bolaji had been especially elated at being the winner. SBG was a group he had admired right from the moment he heard about them, back in JSS1. To have emerged the winner of the contest pleased him to no end. Bolaji had especially been grateful for the task they had been set when he had gone over the contents of The Book and saw some truly unbelievable ones. 

This school session, it had been James who had suggested that they bet again, this time, involving Niyi. Niyi was obviously a harder nut to crack than Amanda. She was smarter, more beautiful, and more unachievable. But, they had all agreed on her anyway, except Habeeb, who claimed blind people repulsed him. Only three of them appeared to be serious with it now, as James was obviously not bothered about it. Bolaji had seen Anthony and Bayo also trying to start up conversations with Niyi, and failing. He hoped things would remain that way.