That day Mariana and Jennie had dinner together outside, just the two of them. Jennie memorized that when Mom asked to meet the two of them like this, there must be many things Mom would ask her. It's already like an interrogation or investigation session.
It was only natural for Mother to do this since Jennie didn't live with her. Since Jennie separated and went with Dad, Mom could hardly see Jennie. Then when Jennie entered junior high school, Dad enrolled Jennie in the Special School with school dormitory facilities. Father put Jennie into the dormitory without discussing it with Mother.
That's when Mom found out, Mom and Dad had a big fight that sent each other demands to the authorities. Their fight ended peacefully when Jennie explained to Mom what she wanted to do with her life. She said that it was her decision.
That's why now Mother holds Jennie's words more than anyone else. Her words about what she wants to do in the future after completing her education. The profession that Jennie wants to do for a living.
Mariana didn't think that Jenny had thought that far. So she stopped resisting if that was what her daughter wanted. She fully supports the choice that Jennie has made in her life.
“How are you preparing to enter a special art school?” Mom asked without the intention of intimidating Jennie.
“I kept practicing hard to improve my painting skills. But in school, I'm not as smart as a big sister." Jennie felt pessimistic about her abilities.
“You too can be like your sister, as long as you put in more effort and hard work.”
Words of wisdom say results will not betray effort and hard work. Mom wants Jennie to be more confident in her abilities.
"You said to enter art school there were two standards of assessment, didn't you?" Ask Mom
"Yes, talent and also academics."
"Then how are you doing?"
“I will try to enter the competition to get points in talent achievements. For school lessons, I keep my grades within the Passing Grade.” It was difficult for Jennie to achieve high marks in the two different assessment areas.
"Don't make this mine attention a burden or pressure. I want you to stay focused because you have a purpose.”
"I know what Mother means." Jennie didn't want to disappoint her.
"So. What about the dorms, is everything okay?"
"You don't need to worry, I'm used to the dorm rules. I saw how Dad could focus on work. I understand very well how strict and disciplined my school is.”
"You're right, I agree you did the right thing by getting into that school."
Jennie and Mom finished their dinner. Mom came home in her car, while Jennie came home by taxi. Jennie's school is quite far from home. If Mom took her drop by the dorm first, Jennie was afraid that Mom would be too tired to drive home.
"Don't forget, you have to inform Mother along the way."
"I understand." Jennie reached into her bag, looking for her cellphone.
"Oh no, my cellphone battery ran out, Mom! I'll let you know as soon as I get to the hostel. You don't need to worry."
"Not just tonight. You should tell Mom more often every day if you don't want to worry me."
"I'm sorry.. I'll do it."
Mariana and Jennie left the restaurant when the taxi order arrived. Jennie returned to the dormitory using the taxi she ordered, and Mother returned home in the car she used to use.
***
Mariana's car entered the parking lot in front of the house. She turned off the car engine and then prepared to get off. When she got home, the house was quiet. The door was locked and the lights in the house went out. This means that Bella is already in her room resting. Mariana always carries a duplicate key because she often comes home late.
She goes to the kitchen. On the dining table, Mom found Bella's leftover dinner. Bella only ate a small amount.
"At least Bella didn't miss dinner." Mariana thought.
Then she tidied the dinner so it could be warmed up for the next day. Rearrange the dining table, recycle trash, then pile dirty plates and glasses in the sink. Finished with the kitchen inspection, she went upstairs to Bella's room.
Quiet, not heard any sound. The room lights were out, Bella must have fallen asleep. Mother just opened the bedroom door, looking into the room from the doorway. Make sure Bella is in her room. Then she closed Bella's bedroom door again and went downstairs to her room to rest too.
Mariana's daily routine repeated like that. Mom's busy life revolves around work, children, and home. Never going on vacation, no time for getting sick, let alone time for romance.
Since the divorce she has remained alone, dedicating herself completely to work and children. Marina intended to do that until the end of her life. Jennie and Bella are Mariana's purpose in life, nothing else.
Several men who came tried to approach her wanting to become close friends, which Mariana refused firmly before the word 'friend' itself was intertwined.
The biggest secret, Mariana is actually worse than Bella in relationship problems. She is not interested in making friends or having them. The people at the company office where she works, are all just colleagues. Both subordinates and superiors at work are all the same, she thinks of them as just acquaintances. Mariana limits herself firmly between work and personal life. All the dinners that she attends in the name of office or company events are only for business purposes, not for deepening relationships.
Maybe she has given up on the meaning of the word 'relationship' itself. Her failure in the relationship of a spouse and marriage made her erase the word 'relationship' from her life dictionary. With just one failure, Mariana felt that she had had enough. So there is no second time so that it doesn't happen a second time.
Disappointment, pain, shame, and despair are enough for one time she to go through it all. Living life at its lowest point makes Mariana throw away all emotions that are created from the heart. She has long lost the emotional side of being carried away by feelings. Currently, the logic dominates.
Mariana didn't want much, didn't ask for much. Only, it's just that two things for her are most important. Those two things are Bella and Jennie. For Bella and Jennie, Mom wants the best for them. Wishing them the best in everything, their home, education, present, and future. Mariana didn't want her two daughters to end up like her. Don't want Jennie and Bella to go through the same life path as their mother. Jennie and Bella's life path must be easy and filled with flowery paths. That's the only hope and purpose of her's life.
Before going to bed, Mariana texted Lauren, asking how everything was going on at home today when she wasn't around.
Lauran message: I returned home before Bella came home. Today nothing happened, other than Jennie's package. I've put it in its usual place.
The contents of Lauren's message summarized the day.
Mariana decided to ask about the anxiety that was plaguing her mind.
Mariana's message: Bella barely touched her dinner. Does she look anything out of the ordinary today?
Lauren message: I don't think there is. I looked and observed, that Bella had no appetite when eating alone. Even if she's served her favorite dish.
Mariana was silent reading Lauren's message. That's right, she didn't think that way. Her presence in the house is getting blurry. Bella and Mariana barely saw each other for a whole day. When Mariana was getting ready to leave for work, Bella came out of the room for breakfast. And when Mom returned to work Bella was already resting in her room like last night.
The last time she and Bella ate together or spent time talking alone, was probably over a month ago. At that time she came home early and got half a day off from work. Mariana realized, in the future that she had to make time for her daughter more. Because time together in the family is also very important so that children do not lose their parental figures.
Mariana wrote a message again: Thank you for reminding me to pay more attention to the children. I believe Bella is fine because she is a smart, kind, and responsible child. Thank you for accompanying Bella while home.
Lauren's message: No, I did it because I care about Bella too. After all, I've been with Bella since she was little.
Right now, in the eyes of both her children, Mariana might seem the most strict, and cold-hearted parent. She realized that, but for her, it didn't matter from their point of view. All she does is for the good of Bella and Jennie. Because Mariana knows better, after all, she first crossed this path of life long before Bella and Jennie.
The last hour of class was staining, a heavy drowsiness attacked Bella. Don't blame her for this one, Bella has tried to survive. While the other children had given up and fallen asleep. She understands that their sains teacher teaches them that it is difficult to understand and there is no interaction, monotonous.When he explained he was engrossed in his world, he kept staring at the whiteboard. His hands wrote formulas that came from nowhere and wouldn't stop until the school bell rang. The noisy children in the class were not resolved because all he had in mind were formulas and formulas, fulfilling his obligations to teach according to his assignments, and delivering nothing more than that.A piece of paper landed on Bella's desk. Without wasting time looking for the perpetrator who threw the paper, she immediately opened the paper and read its contents. They usually play this game to communicate during class hours.The piece of paper reads:Today is Santy's birthday, after schoo
Alec's coming to pick her up, maybe in five minutes. All of Bella's preparations were perfect. From head to toe appearance, birthday present, and most importantly her condition is one hundred percent fit.There was a bit of nervousness when meeting Alec, tonight he was very different. With a white shirt and black tie worn a little loosely. The right mix and match really suit him.Bella couldn't hide her fascination, maybe her cheeks were blushing. She was really embarrassed until she didn't realize that Alec was watching her.Her heart was beating, how did Alec think about Bella's appearance tonight. She wanted to hear his opinion but Bella couldn't seem to be able to ask. Because if she heard Alec's opinion, she probably wouldn't be able to control her feelings and looked directly at him.“Alec please stop looking at me like that?! I'm ashamed..." Bella screamed only in her heart."Umm... Alec.""Yes?""Not suitable, huh? My dress?" Bella asked hesitantly."To be honest I was surpris
Bella groped for directions, there was no light, no sound. She could only feel her own existence, nothing else. The uncertainty that possessed Bella made her heart restless.“Pitch black... Is someone here? Aren't I supposed to have dinner with Jennie and Mom? Where are they?"Bella couldn't see anything. Can only have a dialogue with her alone. "It's very dark in here. Weird, it's like…”Bella thought, complicated. Trying to find answers to the situation that happened to her. Maybe she was dreaming."Wait a minute, is there anyone who realizes that she's dreaming while she's dreaming?"Bella could only ask herself one question. But she was sure this had to be a dream because there was no way Bella could see her other nine-year-old self if she wasn't dreaming, or else Bella was dead.This is a scene in Bella's memory that plays like a movie projector. Piece of a scene with father and mother fighting. Bella didn't remember the content of their fight, but she clearly remembered that six
Bella arrived home with her boyfriend accompanied. Unfortunately, Alec had to go straight back to school because he had afternoon practice."I'll call you after training later. Rest and don't forget to take your medicine, okay?" He wanted to stay with her but Bella had refused firmly. “Or, how about I come after practice?” Alec didn't give up.“Alec, you can catch it later. I will feel better after taking the medicine.” Bella wanted to convince him not to worry.“You know, I get a little hurt if you reject me like that.” Alec was being spoiled.“I'm sorry... It's for your own good too. Thanks for dropping me off." Bella gave him a short hug.To be honest it wasn't just Alec who wanted to be pampered. She wanted it too more than he knew. Ever since they were in school, Bella wanted to be like that. But for an athlete like Alec maintaining a healthy body condition to stay fit is the most basic task. She didn't want her fever to infect him.It was true that Bella's fever rose after being
The silence of the night that Bella hated arrived. Mother left later than scheduled. This afternoon her father called to ask about Mother. Bella said that Mother was out of town, and if it was according to schedule, she would come home late at night. Hearing that Father did not miss the opportunity to badmouth Mother."Not responsible!! Leaving the child at home alone.” Dad sounded emotional.“What kind of job requires an out-of-town service to stay overnight?! Didn't realize she was a woman who had two children! too workaholic!! To the point of neglecting children and husband.”Bella who heard this almost slammed the phone down. Father is not aware of himself. Judging Mother from the outside, shallow-minded. Can't Dad think with his senses? For a moment forget the problems between them to see with the eyes of the heart. That the woman he once loved at least, worked hard for his child too.That love will never return, but the proof of their love is still here. W
The first lesson begins. Bella avoided the teacher's gaze, not wanting to be questioned about her bandaged hand. Mrs. Rita is a counseling guidance teacher as well as Bella's homeroom teacher.To be honest, Bella didn't want to deal with her homeroom teacher as much as possible. Not because she is a killer, not even good. Bella called it too sharp, sharp in the sense of feeling. As a counseling teacher, Mrs. Rita's intuition is like reading a person's character. If Bella lingered with Mrs. Rita, she could see through Bella's heart and mind.Mrs. Rita's eyes were sharp, firmly ensnaring what she saw. Her words were firm, right on target. Moreover, her attitude seemed friendly but secretly prying everything from her interlocutor. Then by the time she attacked the opponent with what she managed to pick up, it was too late for the opponent to realize after all that had happened. Making goosebumps, Bella doesn't want to be Mrs. Rita's opponent or target.Bella can't deal with people like M
Today Bella is very tired but really fun. It would be nice if they could go together again. Bella put the photo taken earlier into the photo album. In the album are all the old photos. In the past few years, Bella has never taken a photo.Just look at this one photo, if she is not mistaken this photo was taken when their family attended a relative's wedding. And this photo when Bella was in elementary school, really made her miss those days.Bella's elementary school friends are almost all the female students in the class, and in other classes as well. Compact, always together until there are no secrets between them. She is grateful to have friends as well as a place for her to share stories if anything happens. She told everything to her friends, especially about Mom and Dad.At that time she was in fourth grade. Bella, who had just returned from the toilet, heard them talking about her. Bella suddenly stopped walking. She listened from where she was standing at th
Alec was waiting for Bella at the school gate that morning. Last night she got a lot of messages from him. It still has something to do with skipping school yesterday. Bella usually would try to avoid, looking for lies to make excuses. But is tired of all that, she will say it as it is. One lie will only give birth to another lie.Bella knew that Alec was upset and worried about her missing, not to mention skipping school. Plus her cellphone number can't be reached even though this one is unintentional. Alec tried not to use his anger to confront Bella.To avoid misunderstanding other people, Alec invited her to talk in a quieter place."Alec is a nice guy, too good for someone like me." thought Bella."Where were you yesterday? I went to your house because I thought you were sick.” Alec got straight to the point."I went for a walk," Bella answered half-heartedly."Go for a walk?!" Alec's tone rose.Of course, her answer irritated him, skipping scho