Share
21
Related chapters
Followers 22
22“Mom, I don’twant to change schools!” Cameron shouted deeply, projecting his voice from his belly in an attempt to sound like his father. In his rage, he nearly succeeded. Sidney leaned against the counter bordered with colorful paper pencils, massaging her forehead. She flinched at the similarity and at how his voice carried through his school office. She leaned down to shush him, quelling her desperation.“I know, Cam, baby,” Sidney said. “But it’s the only way we can be safe.”“We’re already moving! Why isn’t that enough?” Fat tears spilled from his eyes to dribble down his angry cheeks.Sidney reached out toward him, to calm him, to quiet him, to comfort him. He retreated away from her, growing in his anger and stomping hard. He pulled back until his heels butted into the thick, large wooden chest that served as the lost and found, sleeves and legs of abandoned clothes reaching out desperately for their neglectful owners.“I wish it was enough, baby.” The guilt thic
Followers 23
23“Sidney, honey,”Brady said from across his apartment, “he’s here.”Sidney went to sit up from the couch but found herself so heavy. Her muscles trembled weakly, depleted at the thought of moving her own weight. Her head itself seemed to be packed with lead. Or that was the heaping exhaustion from not sleeping for more than an hour straight in a couple weeks.Sleep felt like betraying Kendra, but waking up felt even more sinister.Sidney heard the two sets of footsteps move toward her over the hard floors and wrenched herself upright. Adam smiled at her—gently, cautiously—as he followed Brady. Sidney’s hands swept over the face and hair she had not washed in days. Her cheeks felt tender from the endless flood of tears. She did not even know if she had brought a brush to Brady and Jordan’s apartment.“I told you I didn’t want you to come,” she said, her voice like gravel in her own mouth.“Then why did you give me the address?” Adam joked softly.“Because I knew you would
Followers 24
24The new housewas too quiet, as if the boxes lining the room absorbed the sound and sucked up the air around Sidney. She felt like she could not breathe so alone, in such oppressive silence. Sidney stood uneasy inside the front door, shoes squeaking on the tile under her, fingers fidgeting in her keys. She did not know how to be alone in this new place, herplace. She could not stand how loud it all seemed in silence. Cameron and Savannah not giggling as they ran through the hallways chasing each other.Kendra not in the kitchen pouring a glass of wine and talking about her ex-husband.No one. Nothing. Just unfamiliar rooms filled with Sidney’s possessions hastily crammed into wilted boxes.When Brady and Jordan ran out of enthusiasm for moving furniture and even free pizza could not rekindle them, Sidney had told them she would be fine. When she kissed Adam goodbye in the departure drop-off lane at the airport, she had told him she would be fine. She was not fine. N
Followers 25
25“Mommy!”Cameron hollered as Sidney opened the front door. “Cam, baby.” Sidney dropped to one knee so that she could swallow her son in a hug.With Cameron pressed into her chest, Sidney closed her eyes and took the first real breath she had in days. When she exhaled, her shoulders finally lowered. She melted into him, and when he went to release her, she clung to him an extra second longer. The house around them instantly felt smaller, less cavernous and vacant.“Hey, Sidney,” Aiden said as he stepped in behind Cameron.“Hi, Aiden.” Sidney finally released Cameron, her fingertips still lingering on his shoulders. “Thanks for bringing Cam over.”Aiden awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pockets and moved his eyes around the living room. “It looks good in here,” he said. “You’ve already unpacked a lot.”“I couldn’t really sleep.”Aiden nodded but did not step further into the house.“Cam, buddy, I’m going to put your bag right here,” Aiden leaned the backpack against th
Followers 26
26The trail grewdarker as Sidney ran across the dirt in a panic. She craned her neck to glare at the creek behind her. When she turned back, the night blotted out the light to consume her. The nightmare became only the sound of her crunching footfalls. She sprinted blindly into the black. Then the streetlight appeared. She leaped toward the light, and when her foot landed in the circle of illumination, the ground went liquid beneath her. Her shoe vanished beneath the gravel like quicksand. Before she could stop it, her other foot followed. The ground swallowed her feet, slurping greedily to her waist. She could not move her legs or fight against the pressure crushing her beneath the surface. She screamed and howled into the empty night, clawing desperately at the dirt as it climbed her body. As the edge reached her chest, something crashed down on top of her, pushing her deeper into her struggle.Kendra’s limp and lifeless corpse landed on her head, blocking out the streetli
Followers 27
27Sidney staggered downthe concrete steps, clutching the metal railing. The interior of the police station had become too familiar, haunting her dreams after all these successive visits. It felt like she had never left after Kendra’s death, and even as she stumbled out now, part of her lingered back in the drab room where she was questioned. Her face hurt. Her cheeks stretched taut over the swelling. Her eyelids were puffy, cumbersome when she blinked. Her eyeballs themselves felt raw and exhausted, the same as every cell in her body. Her skeleton was heavy to move, like it would be better placed somewhere dark and final.Her mind did not form thoughts. It could not. The echoes of the police inquiries orbited around Seth’s slumped body in the backroom of the store. The lines of questions reached back and arched into concentric circles, running laps around all the terrible things that had happened. All the events at which she had been the center. Why had she been in the middl
Followers 28
28“Don’t say it,” Sidney mumbled as she approached Brady. She could already see the sympathetic, assessing look in his eye as he tipped his thin-rimmed sunglasses. He leaned his yoga mat against the glass windows of the studio and snatched her into a hug. She clutched him tightly for a moment then stepped back.“Say what?” he asked, innocently.“That I look like hell.”“Oh honey, you already know.” He smiled playfully. “And it doesn’t matter. It only matters if you’re OK, and I’m glad you came out this morning. Have you left the house since it happened?”Sidney shook her head. “I haven’t been able to. The store is still closed. Cameron is still with Aiden. I’m not really eating. So there hasn’t been a reason to.”“Well, you have a reason today.” Brady stooped to gather his yoga mat onto his hip. “We are going to breathe through all this bullshit and find your center.”“What if there is nothing good at my center?” Sidney said before catching the words on her tongue.Brady tur
Followers 29
29Sidney took adeep breath as she sank into the couch cushion in her basement. The house around her remained unfamiliar and hollow, yet she felt different in it now. Her mind clung to its reinvention, and she finally inhabited her new space. The nervous flinch threatened at the base of her spine, coiling then relenting enough for her to breathe, for her to simply be. She closed her eyes and took yogic breaths then opened them gently, looking around the room to remind herself how normal it was. The customary popcorn and beer perched on the table between her and the television. Her laptop glowed from the cushion beside her, cursor blinking anticipant of her words. She held the remote as her thumb traced the Play button, watching the sweat trickle down the side of the beer bottle. It all looked the same, but something felt off.“You’re being ridiculous,” she said to herself. “It’s just a movie. Movies didn’t get you into this. It is for the 12 Slays of Christmas; you are watchi
Latest chapter
