"It's been almost a week since anyone saw you, Luna." Lacys concerned voice isn't surprising.
Staring blankly at the closed curtains, I give no sign of response. I'd stopped responding a few days back, after giving the same answer time and time again, I didn't see the point in talking.
Three weeks.
Three weeks since I arrived here, and it feels like a lifetime ago. At first I carried on smiling, I talked with the pack and held up the act of the gentle Luna that I know they all believe. I tried so hard to keep them happy, I tried to pretend like I wasn't stuck here, I tried so hard to just be happy. But I couldn't do it, every minute it got harder, every day my smile began to fade and after a week ... I considered ending it all.
The pack expected perfection through the day, and by night Hardin comes in and does as he pleases with me. The past two nights he hasn't been back, I tried to deny him, which resulted in me slapping him. I assume he's still enraged, and I'm still frightened of what punishment he'll give me. But let's be real, he deserved it. 1
"I've brought food." Lacy says, and I hear the door being pushed further open.
"Get out." My voice rings with ice, anger that none of them have seen before rising to the surface.
Don't do it. The little frightened girl inside of me pleads, the person that I once was not so long ago. Part of me knows she's right, Hardin won't like my attitude. Do I really wish to anger him more?
"I'll leave it here, I hope you eat something, Luna." Lacy whispers, the door shutting not two seconds later.
Closing my eyes, I ignore the smell of cooked food, my stomach twisting with the urge to vomit. I've never been a huge eater due to my parents, but being treated as Hardin's dumpster slut is seriously messing me up. The more I try to deal with my new life, the more I try to accept it, the more sickened I become. Less energy, less hunger, less everything.
Maybe I'll fade away completely one day? Will I then be free?
Even with my eyes sore and closed, I didn't sleep. Such things are a privilege now, and it doesn't come often or by choice. I'm awake until I become completely exhausted, then I pass out for a while.
Remember who you are, don't let them change you. My brother's words ring clear through my skull, a promise that I regret making, it's getting harder to hold onto who I was.
~ONE WEEK BEFORE ~
His fresh seed seeps from between my clenched thighs, the familiar feeling of utter humiliation consuming me. I didn't move an inch, nor until I heard the door close as he leaves to do his daily pack business.
Sniffling back the tears, I pick up my phone, my finger hovering over the name that I so desperately wanted to talk to right now. But could I? How could I pretend to be fine?
The screen suddenly flashes, and his name appears, my phone vibrating. My entire body stiffens, turning cold with fear, but I didn't ignore his sixtieth call.
Answering it, I press the phone to my ear.
"Kalli!? Tell me what's going on, mom said you married some Alpha from up north. What the hell were you thinking?" My brothers infuriated, yet equally worried tone only breaks my heart.
My lip trembles, tears brimming my eyes. Tightening my grip on the phone, I pull my aching knees to my chest.
"Kalli?"
" ... Sebastian ... " My voice trembles, breaking as tears flood my face. Feeling crushed, all the built up pain and mixed emotions consume me completely.
"What's wrong?" His icy demand is one of anger, not at me, but the one hurting me.
"I can't ... I can't do this ... It hurts ... " I sob my heart out, begging my little brother to fix it, to do something, to save me.
"What hurts?" Seb whispers, more terrified than I've ever heard him. I hated that he's scared of me, but I needed him to know, I needed someone to know.
"Everything ... I don't want this, I can't do it-" I whisper, but Seb cuts me off.
"Kalli, you are the strongest person I know, whatever you're going to do ... don't do it." Sebs voice is gentle, frightened, pleading.
My heart twists in agony, my glassy eyes staring at the knife on the bedside table. It sits next to the half eaten apple from earlier, just where I'd left it.
"I have people tracking your location as we speak, I'm going to come and get you. Promise me ... promise me that you won't do anything until then." Seb begs me.
He's going to come and get me?
My first emotion is utter relief, a feeling that doesn't last more than a second. My hope deflating as I realise that Seb won't stand a chance against Hardin, my brother is Alpha and vicious, but he's no match for Hardin, Seb isn't first born.
"I promise, I won't ... Seb I need you to swear to me that you won't come for me." I whisper, hoping that no one is eavesdropping on the other side of the door.
"What? No-"
"Don't come for me Seb, my punishment from father will be far worse than this." I sniffle, wiping my snotty nose as I hold back my tears.
To keep my brother away, I'll have to guilt trip him. He knows our parents have always been harsh with me, he also knows that if I return to them it'll be far worse for me. They'll ensure they get me back, just so they can punish me. Even now, I'm trapped, afraid of a power couple a thousand miles away.
"I can't leave you there-"
I cut him off quickly. "He will have you killed before you get within howling distance of me, I won't allow you to die for nothing. I need you alive, Seb ... you're all I have."
Layering on the guilt, despite the words being true. Right now I'll say anything to keep my brother where he is, the last thing I want is for him to make a suicide rescue that'll only enrage Hardin.
"I will find a way to free you from him, Katalayha, I swear it." Sebastian speaks in a low beaten tone.
I know he's promising to stay away, even if he loathes the mere thought of doing so. Deep down he knows I'm right, there's no use dying if it doesn't help me.
" You stay safe, and remember that you have me, you're not alone. Don't become one of them, don't lose who you are in order to gain his love." He states.
I feel a ghost of a smile pull on my face, very faintly, my heart clenching with sadness.
"I promise." I sniffle, my nose snotty from crying.
~ PRESENT ~
Why would I make such a foolish promise? This world has never been kind to me, and yet I am sworn to be kind, to be gentle and silent even as my world gets darker with every passing day.
I laid on the bed, so long that by the time I finally showered and changed into pajamas it's long past midnight. Even as I climb into the bed, sleep didn't comfort me.
Barely an hour passed before I hear the door opening, the familiar scent of masculine sweat and desire filling the room. I don't think I'd ever forget that smell, Alpha Hardin.
"You haven't eaten." Is the first thing he says, not jumping right to ripping my clothes off like he usually does.
My body gives no response, almost numb to his presence.
"Don't act like you care, Hardin." My voice is a breathe, the words escaping me before I could stop them.
I freeze the second I hear my own voice, at the same time I didn't regret them, I wasn't afraid of speaking the truth.
"We both know why you're here." I finish in a slightly bitter whisper.
I didn't know what to expect, I didn't want to care but I found myself listening for his response.
Instead, Hardin grips my ankle and yanks me harshly down the bed. I give a small yelp out of shock, my hands reaching for the bed in attempts to stop him.
Why did I say that? Why would I be that stupid? I wonder silently, the panic setting in. His large body looms over me, making me feel smaller, so very small. I hated it, the intimidation.
"You're my chosen mate, Katalyha, the one that I hand picked from a tsunami of she-wolves to be my wife. Do you think I will watch you starve to death?" The fury in his demanding tone challenges me, daring me to question his intentions again.
My eyes slowly meet his bright ones, my skin tingling as our eyes connect for the very first time, I felt the threat of his stare.
"Considering there's a tsunami of she-wolves worthy of taking my place, I'm going to say yes." I respond in a small, yet firm voice.
Finally opening my mouth to him, it gives me a strange feeling, I feel satisfied, powerful. An entire dictionary of truths hang on the tip of my tongue, ready to come flying out any second.
"Your attitude tonight is appalling, I might just have to punish you." His husky tone immediately has me wincing.
"No, I'm sorry." On instinct I turn my head away, avoiding eye contact,a silent plea for his forgiveness. It felt wrong, but it's an action I've done my entire life, the one thing that always kept me from being hurt.
Punishment. Have I finally gone too far? Pushed him over the edge, I'd have assumed the slap would do it but nope, it's a bad attitude.
"A Queen does not submit to anyone, least of all me." Hardin tells me, unblinkingly.
My heart stutters, his words taking me by sheer shock for a moment. No one had ever said such a thing to me, especially someone with authority. I'd only ever been forced to obey, beaten when I didn't submit.
"That would make you King, and you are no King." I whisper cruelly.
While I fear the consequences of my words, I'm glad I said them. Does he really assume he holds such power? That I hold such authority?
"In time, you will accept your place here, you will know there is no hope of leaving." Hardin mutters, his voice soft but his words give no comfort.
Keeping my head turned away, I close my eyes as Hardin's mouth warms my bite. I didn't fight him, just like every other time he's forced me to want him. Too exhausted to even think about denying him, I lay silently and let him get on with it. Hoping it'll be easier on me if I do.
"Luna-" Lacys familiar voice fills the empty room. "Oh my god!" She gasps. I stare at the mirror in utter disgust, anger brewing inside of me as I poke at my flesh. The bruises are long gone, but the weight I'd lost in the past week has taken a huge toll on my body. My skin is paler than usual, far more bones poking through than ever before. Dark circles rim my eyes, thoroughly making me a monstrous sight. Fact is, I wanted to blame Hardin. He's the reason I'm here, he's the reason I don't sleep, the reason I can't eat. At the same time I didn't have the energy, blaming him is tiring, and it's not like I'm not to blame too. I refused the food, I stayed awake at night, I didn't converse with the pack or even leave the room. I've been clinging onto my old life, the person I was only last month due to a promise I made to my brother. In the end, that promise is going to kill me, holding on is hurting me more. I want to keep my promise, I want to be the person my brother expects me to
Before my mind registers what I'm doing, my hand wraps around his wrist, shoving him away with all my strength. Hardin squeezes my throat, just enough to make me gasp a little, his face nearing mine as his eyes grow darker.I know what he wants, and if I don't act then he'll take it, again. No amount of refusal with words has worked so far, he acts like he hasn't even heard me. But pushing him away, that gets to him."I strongly suggest you don't repeat that." Hardin growls sinisterly, eyes ablaze, bright red.Every nerve in my body screams at me to submit, but at the same time I feel powerful being able to deny him. Even for a short moment, being able to finally tell him no, and mean it, gives me huge satisfaction."Then I suggest you don't touch what isn't yours." I say, my voice ringing with clarity.Damn Kali, when'd you get so brave?My entire body freezes over the second I see Hardin's face contort with anger, the utter fury that burns within his blood red eyes. Until now I'd no
"Harder!"My growl resonates over the sound of his voice, frustration burning through me. No matter how much I push, Hardin doesn't move a millimetre."I'm not strong enough." I snap, exhaling heavily as I step away from his huge form.My arms ache from trying to move him, I'd used all the strength I could muster and it didn't faze him. I'm supposed to be stronger than this, I'm supposed to be powerful, and I doubt I could take the average wolf."You're trying too hard." Hardin states."Clearly not hard enough." I respond with sarcasm dripping from my tone.How can I be trying too hard, when I haven't even been able to move him? Trying less would get me know where. Hardin has been training his entire life like every other Alpha in the world, all except me. Perhaps my parents were right, a female shouldn't be first born."You're trying to control your strength, to focus it, and it doesn't work that way." Hardin snaps at me, annoyed that I'm blanking him.My wrist is suddenly grabbed, a
A entire week of hell, and the day hasfinally arrived. After seven days of maxing my limits and exhausting myself with what felt like pointless torment, it's finally time to face the music.Even though Hardin gave me a brief rundown of how the ceremony will go, I'm still nervous. For three days I'll be put to the rest with a series of different challenges and tasks, more so because I'm now Hardins mate."Take it off, wolves don't need to cover up." Beck mutters to me as we exit the car.Brushing his hand away, I bury my hands into my pockets. Hardin and his beta join us, leading me into the large stone mansion. I didn't pay much attention to the building, or the decor, only the amount of wolves that whisper and stare as I pass them.They smell my Alpha blood, they're naturally threatened by it. I assume that's why Hardin stays close to me, placing me between himself, Zed flanking my left and Beck just behind us. I have to admit, I don't feel so on edge with all three close by.The wol
"Are you ready to meet your maker?" Zed whispers to me.Inhaling a long shaky breath, I roll out my shoulders in attempt to shake off the tension. I barely slept last night, Hardin has spent hours debating with the Elders to switch my opponent. Judging by Zeds words, I know Hardin failed to convince them."As ready as I'll ever be." I say softly."He's going to taunt you, as long as you stay in control, you win." Zed assures me.Nodding, I take a deep breath. Control, the one thing I do have over myself. Knowing that comforts me, even if I know the beating that he's going to give me may just put me out for the count."Where's Hardin?" I ask, my nerves haywire.I needed him with me, I needed his comfort, I needed to know that he's still going to stand at my side no matter what happens. But most importantly, I needed my mate for emotional support, just having him close does wonders."He'll be here." Zed promises, squeezing my shoulder as if to calm down my fear.Nodding, I inhale slowl
The command has my mother cringing away, incapable of withstanding the sheer force of my words. I couldn't help but smile, my teeth covered in blood."Y-yes." She gasps for breath, clawing at my hands. I saw my own reflection in her terrified eyes, the usual arrogance long gone as I choke her, my fingers ease their grip a little."Yes what?" I whisper, my voice like ice as I stare my mother right in her eyes, no longer frightened by her glare.Eyes tearful and cheeks scarlet, from strangulation and fright, my mother gasps her words."... Yes A-Alpha."I almost felt guilty, for humiliating her in such a public place. I shouldn't, she's never shown me any love or kindness, she's just a woman that should have protected me, and instead chose to be my greatest fear. A small part of me still refuses to harm her, she did raise me even if I'll never forgive her for the way she did it.Releasing my mother, I watch as she scrambles away to my father. I could smell her fear, and it didn't please
"Ow!" I yelp out, trying not to flinch as the woman peels the wax from my tender flesh.Never in my life have I felt this kind of pain, having hair literally ripped from your body in chunks. Truth be told I've never much bothered with shaving or waxing, I didn't have time, and I didn't have a mate so I suppose it didn't matter.The woman is here on Beck's doing, he saw my legs a few weeks back and made a comment to shave them. I ignored him, although I now wish I'd listened because he's ordered this poor woman to blitz my entire body.And I mean, everywhere. Places that I wasn't even aware people waxed.It feels like hours passed of endless pain, before the lady finally declares me finished. I immediately exhale in pure relief, more glad that I have a few hours to heal before the ball starts."Thank you." I say to be polite, when in reality I'm not thankful, I want to punch her for causing me such horrific pain.The woman leaves my room, and I slump back into the comfortable chair, th
Turning my head slightly, I glance into his light grey storming eyes. His face so close that I could blink and I'm sure my eyelashes will stroke his cheek. Being so close to him like this does strange things to me, body, heart and soul."Perhaps-" My gentle tone cut off by another, immediately having my head turn in her direction. It's disrespectful and quite disturbing that she's interrupting us."This is the upgrade?" A woman's voice asks curiously, yet sharp, like ice.Upgrade?I glance over the female with curiosity, wondering who she is to not be punished for how she approached Hardin. Like everyone else, she's dressed flawlessly beautiful in a silk red gown that hugs her perfect slim hourglass figure. Her skin glows, smooth like porcelain, unblemished by any marks. Eyes bright, sparkling blue orbs framed with thick lashes, small nose, full lips, and thick brown hair sectioned perfectly into waves.I'll admit, she's beautiful, stunning actually. Who is she?"Lorelei." Is the shor