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CHAPTER 183
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Friends with benefits CHAPTER 184
WALKING THROUGH THE PASTMy brother, two years older than me Scott, was my partner, my best friend for as long as I can remember — Lara continued telling the psychologist —, and I couldn't function without him, and he couldn't function without me. Amidst so many children, so many fights in our house, Scot and I were each other's lifeline. We took showers together, played together, went to the bathroom, slept, everything, we did everything together! After me, there was the youngest one, and she was born with a physical disability. So, apart from being the youngest, she was the sickly one and received a little more care from my parents, especially my mother, as my father was always drunk and claimed she wasn't his daughter most of the time. He would shout at the top of his lungs when he was heavily intoxicated — which was usually the case — that he hadn't functioned as a man for years when my mother got pregnant. And he only didn't beat up my little sister because he pitied her for her
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 185
BEING BORN HURTS, BEING REBORN HURTS EVEN MORE!Lara took a deep breath, her voice filled with exhaustion. She continued her narrative:"But I don't know, I do know... it was a shame! The shame that my father felt, which made him disappear for a few days after being dragged onto the street and beaten by a woman much smaller than him, with his wife's help. He was drunk, he said afterward, and that's why he got beaten. But he used to beat us even when he was drunk. But what happened next was that Dinah entered our house again, breathless and strange, and fell to her knees in the living room. She vomited on our floor and cried. Then she apologized to us, crying with her bruised face from my father's punch. She begged us for forgiveness, from us and my mother, and she redeemed the love we had for her, the love that had been tarnished. But it was so easy to win us over. Any smile could buy us because they were so rare.Dinah told us that we could be whatever we wanted, that we were special
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 186
VARIETIESThe next day wasn't as easy as he had hoped it would be. Patrícia arrived in the morning for the therapy session, but Lara didn't even smile at her. She seemed to be in a different mode, the "therapy" mode, and shortly after the psychologist and Lipe sat down, she began:"It didn't go as we imagined it would. My father came back home three days later. We didn't know where he was until that moment, and my mother and all of us automatically went into fear and apprehension mode, even though Dinha had told us not to fear him and kept repeating that my mother did very well in defending herself against him. But theory is one thing, right? In practice, it's very different. The social worker wasn't there. It was just us again with him, and he was very, very drunk! After years of torment, fear came rushing back, and we went into defense mode. Years of following the same script. As soon as he entered the room, he went straight to my mother's side, and my sister Lucy, the oldest among
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 187
BODY FIGHTING"For years, decades actually, I haven't spoken his name," Lara said, and Lipe felt his heart being filled with bitterness. He tasted bitterness in his heart and soul as he listened to her recounting her life. And when she mentioned that name, he felt a chill down his spine. She wouldn't say the name when awake, but she would cry in her sleep and repeat that name when she had nightmares."Lara, I think we can continue tomorrow," Patrícia said to her in a gentle voice, and that seemed to awaken something within the girl, as she lifted her chin and her expression changed."I hate living, Patrícia. From the depths of my soul, I hate life and I hate living. And there's nothing you can say that will change that. Opening up about my life, the suffering I've already endured, won't bring me relief. Believe me, I never feel better when I open up, and Lipe is the one who has to deal with it afterward, and that's not fair! It's not fair for me to keep being hospitalized here, trying
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 188
FILTHY GHOSTS"When I said martyrdom, it was because it truly was a martyrdom" - Lara resumed her therapy the following day from where she had left off the day before. "I went months without seeing my brother Scot, and the others weren't like him. Each one had their own struggles, they loved me, but not like Scot did. They cared about me, but none of them cared about me like Scot did. The age gap between my other siblings and me was significant, either older or younger, like the youngest one, and she couldn't help me either. She didn't even know what happened when I went to sleep at night, and because of her disability, I had to protect her from him too, from my stepfather. I imagined that it was already so difficult for me, she wouldn't be able to bear it. And before you ask if my mother could help me, let me tell you that she started treating me differently. She no longer had much time for me due to work, taking care of my little sister who frequently had to undergo surgeries and sp
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 189
DOMINO EFFECT"My mother took the blame. She called the police and said she had killed her husband because he was abusing the daughters. Dinah showed up and stayed with us for a few days. While my mother was detained, Dinah assured us that she would soon be released, claiming self-defense, but it was a bureaucratic process that would take a few days. However, before she could be released, she did what Scot told her to do. They found her hanged in her cell on the day she was supposed to be set free.Lara continued with her therapy. Each day she seemed stronger, at least physically she was doing better, and she hadn't mentioned leaving or drinking for days.During the time Scot was living on the streets, ever since he left our father's house, since he ran away, he began to dwell in the streets. Every day in a different place, in an abandoned house. He started drinking and associating with drug users. He became dependent on both drugs and alcohol. And as absurd as it may sound, despite m
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 190
BIZARRE HIDEOUTSThe days were passing, and Lara showed no desire to leave.On the fifth day after her last therapy session with Patrícia, with Lipe still by her side, they had watched several movies together. They watched all day, and between the breaks from movies and series, they walked around the entire hospital. She said to him:"Tomorrow, I want to spend the day alone, Lipe.""Alone? But I told you it's fine with my work.""I know that, but it's for myself, you know. I want to be alone the whole day, and I kindly ask you to tell our friends not to visit me."Lipe felt as if a cold hand had struck his heart, and he must have shown it in his expression because she smiled and placed a hand on his waist. They were walking in the hospital garden."You can trust me, Lipe. I'm not planning on doing anything wrong. I could have left already. I was discharged days ago, and if I wanted, I could be at home and do something there. I swear to you, it's not about that. I just want to see how
Friends with benefits CHAPTER 191
IS NOT FAR FROM DANGER YETLipe wasn't prepared for this. He hadn't even considered it, and all he could do was stand frozen in the shower. Lara took steps into the shower with him, and he swallowed hard, feeling his heart wanting to take flight in his chest.She bent down and picked up the dropped shampoo from the floor, squeezed a little into her hands, placed the bottle back on the shelf, and ran her soapy hands through his hair. Lara washed his hair slowly and patiently. Then she took the sponge, used the liquid soap, and gently scrubbed his neck, one arm, then the other, paying special attention to his hands and fingers. She turned him around and washed his back, his buttocks, his thighs, all without haste. Lipe remained motionless, not moving a muscle, simply obeying her as she turned him from side to side, keeping his body rigid and his teeth clenched. It was only when she, still squatting and washing his shins, pulled him so that he faced her, that he held her shoulders firmly
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