Four: Bailee

I went home alone that night. The backstabbing nanny was already fast asleep, and as much as I wanted to confront her for what she had done, I moved past her room and into mine. 

I was hurt, angry, and exhausted. 

After a long, hot shower, I had curled up in my empty bed and muffled my sobs with my pillow, so I wouldn’t wake Brinley, until I fell asleep.

The cold sheets sent a chill through me as I rolled over in bed, my head pounding from crying myself to sleep.

I was so angry at myself for letting it get this far, so angry at him for not even trying to make this work, and for throwing away our family like it meant nothing to him. There had been signs and red flags throughout our relationship that should have had me packing up and leaving.

But I was stubborn, refusing to give up on the years we had spent together. I fought to make things better, over and over again, ignoring all the ways Caleb had mistreated me and ran straight toward that bitch like a bull. 

My eyes were thick with sleep, and I reached up to rub them, praying I would have time for a long, hot shower before Brinley woke. I didn't want her to see me like this.

My hands froze over my face as a loud snore came from the bed beside me.

Had he really come home last night after what he had done?

Rather, it would have been early this morning that he had decided to join me since I hadn’t even gotten into bed until 2 am. 

I jumped out of bed quickly, turning to glare at the shirtless man there. His mouth was open, his chest rising and falling as he took in another breath, the sound accompanying it rivaling a chainsaw. 

“You have got to be kidding me right now,” I said, my breathing coming out faster as he turned his head to face away from me, groaning in annoyance that I was waking him. 

Before I could stop myself, I grabbed my pillow with both hands and began swinging it down on his legs repeatedly. 

“What the fuck?” He shouted, swatting it away before rolling his eyes at me when he saw me standing over him. “What do you think you’re doing?” 

“You have some nerve coming back here!” I shouted before lowering my voice. Our daughter didn’t need to hear us fighting, and she definitely didn’t need to wake up to it. 

“Oh, get off it already, Bailee,” Caleb said, rolling his eyes. “We’ve all done and said things we aren’t proud of. Let’s just move on. I don’t have the energy to deal with you today.” 

“Then why did you come back here?” 

“Because I’m an adult, Bailee! This is what people do in relationships. They come back and keep working on it.” Caleb reached up and stretched, but I just stood there with my hands tightly clutching the pillow as I panted, trying to catch my breath. 

“This is a joke. What part of I want a divorce, do you not understand?” I hissed, my anger growing as he relaxed and moved to get a pair of shorts, pulling them on as he spoke. 

“Oh, please. Don’t be so dramatic. You’ve changed, yet I’m still willing to stay.” 

“I’ve changed? That doesn’t give you the right to cheat on me! I’m still your wife!” My head snapped back, eyes wide with anger as he glanced at the mirror on the wall and combed his fingers through his hair with a smirk at his reflection. Cocky bastard.

“Well, just look at you. Your hips are wider, your stomach isn’t flat anymore, and your breasts aren’t what they used to be. Shit, Bailee, you don’t even do your hair anymore. You always just throw it up in a bun. It’s like you don’t even care what you look like. I don’t recognize you anymore.” 

“I had a baby, Caleb! I grew a human being and then literally tore myself apart, bringing her into this world! Of course, my body has changed!”

“Not just your body, Bailee! You used to be home. Now you’re always either working in your stupid little sketchbook or saying you’re too busy with the kid for anything else!” His upper lip curled in disgust as he looked over and spotted my design book on my nightstand. 

“The kid?” I asked, appalled, but he just nodded. “Maybe if I had some help around here, I wouldn’t be so busy! I’ve asked you so many times to help me cook, clean, or help me with Brinley, but you refuse!” 

“It’s bad enough that I had to hire a nanny. I shouldn’t have to do those things or spend money on other people to do those things, Bailee. That’s your job! You’re my wife! ” 

I shook my head in disbelief. “No. It’s not. A wife is not a private chef or a maid. I’m not here to serve you, Caleb! I was here because I loved you! We were supposed to build a life together.” 

“Loved?” He hissed the word like it was the most disgusting thing he had ever said. "Past tense?"

“You were fucking your assistant last night, Caleb, what do you expect? I asked for a divorce for a reason. I can’t keep going to couples counseling and fighting for us when you don’t care! I’m in this fight alone, day after day, taking blow after blow and killing myself to put everyone else in my life ahead of me, only to get shit on by those same people!” The tears flooded my cheeks with anger as I stared at the stranger before me. 

I didn’t recognize him either. This man was heartless and cruel.

“So, you’re just going to blow up our lives because of one night? Do you think I don’t know about your affair?” Caleb stepped forward as if excited to turn this conversation on me.

“What are you talking about? I’ve never even looked at another person since we started dating!” I wanted to laugh because it was so absurd. 

“Please, Bailee! Don’t play innocent. Brinley isn’t even mine, is she?” 

My hand twitched at my side as I resisted the instinctual urge to slap him. “Excuse me?” 

“You were so desperate to have a baby. You probably would have done anything…anyone to try to get pregnant.” His head shook back and forth slowly, almost as if subconsciously he knew it wasn’t true, but he had never been one to admit he was wrong.

He was reaching, looking for anything he could use to blame me for the downfall of our marriage.

“How dare you,” I said breathlessly. I had never been consumed by rage like this before. How had we gotten this bad? “How dare you!”

“You’re not denying it,” He hissed, stepping closer to look down his nose at me. In his eyes, I could see his determination and the need to prove that I was just as bad as him. 

But I wasn’t. 

I wasn’t perfect in our relationship either, but I never cheated, and I had tried day and night to do everything I could to make him happy.

“Because nothing I can say will convince you of the truth. You’ll do anything to avoid admitting that what you did last night was the final nail in our coffin, that this is on you.” 

He had already twisted this in his head to make me the bad guy because he was Caleb Johnson and could do no wrong. He was God’s gift to this Earth, and I should just be blessed to live in his glow.

My loyalty to him had been to a fault, and now my entire world was about to be torn apart… our daughter’s world was about to be torn apart because I had picked the wrong man.

There had been so many times when I had sat in our therapist’s office, waiting for him to show up so we could make things better. More often than not, he was late or didn’t show up at all. 

Now, I wondered how often I had been sitting there, ready and willing to work on our marriage while he was at the office or a hotel with his assistant.

“I’m not going to keep doing this with you. When I said I was done, Caleb. I meant it.” 

“You’ll be left with nothing! Do you really think I'll let you get away with dragging my name through the press in a divorce? I'll make sure you aren't left with a penny to your name!" He shouted after me.

“As long as I’m not stuck with you, I don’t care.” I threw over my shoulder, walking out of our room with my chin held high as tears silently slid down my cheeks. 

I had let him bend and break me throughout our relationship, but that was the old me. Never again would I let a man treat me this way. 

Caleb had hurt and humiliated me for years, and he didn't even care that he had done it.

“If you do this, I will ruin you, Bailee!”

“You already have.”