I blink rapidly, eyes needing to readjust to the bright sunlight around us. Everything faded for a moment there.
“And Jim. I didn’t know you were in town.” Logan’s eyes go from Alyson to me a few
times before he pulls Alyson in for a hug. “I’m guessing this is why Mom’s having us all come over for dinner tonight.”
“Yeah. We’re out running errands for her,” she says, shuffling back. Sweat breaks out along my back, both from the heat of the day and almost getting caught. My judgment goes out the window when it comes to Alyson, and she got me going from zero to sixty in three seconds flat.
“What’d you buy?” Alyson asks, shifting nervously. She’s worried her brother saw us too.
“That thriller that’s being made into a movie. I refuse to see the movie until I’ve read the book.” Out of all her brothers, Alyson and Logan are the most alike. He’s the second youngest, even though
Ben is a mere handful of seconds older, and I’ve heard them joke a
ALYSON PUSHES HER FOOD AROUND ON HER PLATE, TAKING LITTLE BITES HERE AND THERE AND ONLY when someone is looking. She still doesn’t feel well but is trying to hide it. I’ll ask her about it later and make sure she’s okay. “How’s life at the hospital?” Mr. Langford asks. “You’re at the biggest one in Indy, right?” “Yes, I am. And it’s hectic and busy, but I really enjoy it.” Ben takes a drink of beer and raises his eyebrows. “Do doctors hook up with hot nurses in break rooms like they do on TV?” I laugh. “Not that I know of.” “But Jim was seeing a hot nurse for a while,” Jacob interjects, and I internally wince. “Whatever happened to her?” “Uh, it was never much of a thing,” I deadpan, going for my beer. “Keeping it casual.” Ben nods in approval. “A guy after my own heart.” Alyson looks up at her brother, green eyes full of fire. “Aren’t you getting too old for casual relationships?” The venom in her voice is directed at me, not
Ben’s face falls when he looks at his phone. Then his eyes narrow ever so slightly with fear. “Sorry,” he says, and stands. “It’s my mother. I have to take this.” “Go ahead, honey,” Mom says, not catching the worry in Jim’s face like I do. My anger goes out the window, and I’m concerned for him now. He mentioned having a sick family member. What if they couldn’t fight their illness anymore? I set my fork down, reaching for my water, and peer into the kitchen, trying to get a read on Jim’s face. His back is to me, but his hand lands on his neck. Shit. Something is wrong. “Alyson?” Dad says in a tone that lets me know it wasn’t the first time he said my name. “Earth to Alyson.” “Yeah, sorry. What?” Everyone laughs. “I asked you how’s work going on the Batmobile.” He winks and Wes stifles a laugh. “Dad,” I scold. “I told you I can’t talk about it in front of others.” Mom shakes her head,
I WAKE UP, KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT STILL BOGGED DOWN BY MY DREAM THAT everything is perfect. My bedroom door is cracked open just enough to let the dogs in and out, and Rufus moved from my side to the foot of the bed where he could lay under the fan. Thirsty, I get up to get a drink, and see a small paper bag with my name on it, scrawled out in messy black letters. It’s folded down and stapled shut. Curious, I grab it and rip it open. There are two pregnancy tests inside, along with a note from Jim. I LOOK AT THE TESTS AND TRY TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO. IF I AM PREGNANT, HAVING JIM THERE will be reassuring. And if I’m not, we can both celebrate together. I put both boxes back in the bag and slip it in a drawer on the nightstand. It’s only seven o’clock, and everyone is still sleeping, I’m sure. Getting out of bed, I pad into the hall and pause outside of Jim’s door. My stomach flip-flops, and this time I know it’s from nerves. I slowly open th
The bathroom door closes, and I’m still standing there, looking at the white paint until my vision goes blurry. After I reassured her everything will be okay, she smiled and said she was going to take a shower. But I can’t move. Hell, I can hardly breathe. I’m trying to let it sink in, but my defenses are up and I can’t think past the fact she’s been feeling sick and it’s partly my fault. Or all my fault? I know it took both of us to create the baby, and it’s not like Alyson wasn’t willing. But…fuck. How could I let this happen? I’m a doctor. I know how the body works. And yet I had sex three times with Alyson within twenty- four hours and only used a condom once. Though it’s not like I brought any with me Friday night. I didn’t expect to hook up with anyone, and when it finally happened with Alyson, I wasn’t thinking straight. Rufus tips his head, listening to Mr. And Mrs. Langford move around the kitchen. Knowing it’s time for breakfast, he lazi
“WELL,” ALYSON SAYS, SHIFTING HER WEIGHT. SHE HOLDS HER HAND UP TO HER FACE TO BLOCK THE sun and steals a look at the house behind her. It’s a little after noon and I need to leave to make it home on time. I’m on call again tonight and need to try and get some sleep just in case I’m called in. “I’ll let you know when I get an appointment.” “Okay.” I swallow hard, fighting the urge to grab her and kiss her. I want so fucking badly to tell her I love her, that I’ve loved her for years, and even though having a baby right now wasn’t planned, it’ll be okay because in the end, we were meant to be together. But if I say all that now, she’ll think I’m only saying it to make her feel better. She’ll think I’m making it up or overexaggerating how I feel in an attempt to show her I really do want this baby. So I’ll wait. We have nine months. “And if you need anything, call me. I’m here, Alyson. Even when I’m not.” Her eyes well with t
The door shuts behind me and I turn around, prepared to tell Jim this is silly. But the second I see the look in his eyes, all the air is sucked out of my lungs. “Alyson,” he pants, voice heavy with desire. A shiver runs down my spine and his hands land on either side of my waist. “Are you sure you want this?” Parting my lips, I hook my arms around his neck. “Yes,” I breathe, telling the honest truth. I do want Jim, and I’m not just talking about sex. I want him to be with me during this pregnancy. I want him there when I give birth. I want him to raise this child with me. I want us. Together. He wastes no time in kissing me, and I slide my hands down his chest, going right to his belt. His hands go around my back and unhooks my bra. And then the door opens. “Motherfucker,” I blurt as Jim and I untangle. The dogs run in ahead of my parents, with Rufus at the rear, limping. “You should really consider going in and having
I WAKE UP WEDNESDAY MORNING WITH A HEADACHE. THERE’S NO QUESTION ABOUT IT NOW: I’M SICK. All the cold medications in my cabinet say they’re not safe if you’re pregnant. I take an extra-long shower, trying to clear my head so I can breathe, and feel a little better. Until I throw up. Slumping to the bathroom floor, I can’t help the tears. I’m alone, scared, and feel like total crap. I want to call my mom and have her comfort me. Neville comes over instead, rubbing his head against me. “Hey, buddy,” I say quietly, stroking his sleek fur. He jumps into my lap, purring, and I close my eyes and lean against the wall. My phone rings and Neville jumps away when I start to get up. Thinking it might be Mom and she somehow felt through the universe I need her, I apprehensively look at the name on the screen. It was bad enough lying to Marissa for a day. There’s no way I can lie to my own mother. But it’s not her. I slowly get to my feet and answer the p
I missed a call from Alyson today, and I noticed it right before I went into surgery. I’ve never had a hard time clearing my head before, but today, as I wash my hands and have my surgical scrubs put on, it’s all I can think about. She hasn’t called me—ever. What if something is wrong? She didn’t leave a message, and she didn’t text either. I’m sure everything is fine with her and the baby. It has to be. As awful as I feel to admit it, there’s a small part of me that’s glad Alyson is pregnant. The timing couldn’t be worse. Jacob is going to hate us both. He’ll forgive Alyson eventually, but the light he holds her in will forever be dimmed. But now that she’s pregnant, we’re talking, and we have a chance. And if anyone was to be the mother of my child, no one is better than Alyson. Sam puts the patient under and we get started. As soon as I make the first cut, I’m back in the game, and the surgical team and I make small talk as we go about treating the patient