The party is at a townhouse in what most people call "The Golden Mile" area of the city which is close to the Kremlin. It's very well known for the fact that it houses Moscow's richest and most influential people: billionaires, politicians, businessmen, and celebrities.
When I was younger, I would stare at the buildings as I walked by, wishing I'd live in one of those townhouses one day. But ever since we've moved out of the city to a gated community in Zhukovka on the outskirts of Moscow, I don't regret it one bit. Nothing beats waking up on Christmas morning in my own room with a view of our gardens covered in snow.
Back when we were celebrating Christmas in our apartment in those communist type building blocks it was always too noisy and too cold-but I was happy. I was happy even when I would cut out photos of my dream houses and dresses that I wished to wear someday and use them to make collages. I guess I was manifesting my life before I was even aware of what that meant.
A girl I knew from middle school greets us after we've rung the bell and places two drinks in our hands as soon as we take off our coats. I'm pretty sure her name is Sasha, but then again, I was flying under the radar in middle school due to confidence issues. I only knew the names of the popular kids, which everyone knew and talked about.
"This is Sasha's boyfriends' place, Rick. I think you might also know him from school. He was in the year above us."
I nod as if I have any recollection of all these people Raisa is telling me about, but I am very good with faces and numbers so I can remember 90% of people here by face and could tell you all the birthdates in my class. But names? Never good with names.
The townhouse is three stories high and even though it's freezing cold outside, some people choose to smoke outside on the terrace overlooking the city. After a few drinks, I am also one of those people, so Raisa follows me outside into a corner so we can smoke cigarettes.
She shows me an I*******m story. It's a photo of Matteo and Vinnie on a balcony. "He's so hot, ugh."
"Matteo?" I ask, trying to focus solely on our conversation. "Are you still talking to him then?"
She nods, taking a sip from her drink. "Well, we have sex. Good sex."
"The best of your life?"
She thinks about it for a second before she nods. "Yes. He definitely knows what he's doing."
I don't know how to continue this conversation, but it turns out that I don't need to because she keeps talking. "How many girls do you think he's slept with?"
I shrug, puffing out smoke. "I don't know, twenty, maybe?"
At this, she laughs, throwing her head back. A few people turn around to look at us but I ignore them. "What, more?"
"Last time I heard a number it was around fifty."
I frown. "Did he tell you that?"
"No, but people talk."
"You mean, maybe the girls he's slept with talk? And they could say things that aren't true."
"Everyone at school talks. It's Matteo Giudice." She looks at me for a second. "You really haven't heard about him until now?"
"I don't really follow gossip. I mean, I kind of know of these people. Maybe I've overheard something about them, but no. I don't know any details."
Raisa leans against the railing and holds her cigarette up as she starts speaking. "Well, everybody suspects that his family's in the Sicilian mafia and his father's a billionaire because he basically owns half of Sicily and half of New York."
"Maybe it's just gossip."
Raisa looks at me, unimpressed. "Maybe the billionaire part, but trust me, there's something going on with that entire family, and I'm pretty sure the Barone kids are also involved."
I look at her, wondering whether she ever suspected that our own families might be involved in illegal businesses, but the way she feels so free to speak about such things lets me know that the thought never even crossed her mind. She probably thinks our parents built a business conglomerate that got so successful so fast 100% legitimately. But we went from living in a two-bedroom apartment in Moscow to a multi-million dollar gated-community in less than three years. The math just doesn't add up for me.
"Why would the Barone kids be involved?" I ask, thinking about Vinnie and Eddie, and how we grew up spending our summers together. I also know their parents who in turn know my
parents, and there was never one moment that I thought the Barone family had something to hide.
"Because there's more families involved in the Sicilian mafia. I think Matteo's father is the leader and then people like Vinnie's dad are his right-hand men."
I can't help but laugh. "It sounds made up, Raisa."
"You'd think so, but I've heard stories from Allison's friends."
I raise my eyebrows. "For example?"
"So you know Matteo's family is in the insurance business."
"I thought it was real estate."
"Amongst other things. Anyway, this 'insurance' business apparently means going to newly opened businesses and threatening them to sign up for an insurance plan against any possible disturbances."
"How do you know they threaten people?"
"Because one of Allison's friend's dads refused to buy insurance for his restaurant and two days later it burned down. A month later it was back and he signed the insurance contract. They kept telling Allison he was toxic but she didn't listen."
This discussion is too much for me. I would have never thought Raisa was the type of girl to spread gossip around so easily, especially when she knew how important privacy is for most families at our school.
We finish our cigarettes and drinks so we decide on going back inside and pouring ourselves another.
"She's with him." is all she says as I try to get the Gin and Tonic ratio just right. "Who? What?"
I stop what I'm doing because Raisa clearly sounds upset. She shows me something on I*******m. It's a photo of a view of the sea from a dimly lit balcony with the tag 'Palermo' and a thirty-minute countdown.
"What am I supposed to be seeing here?" I ask, squinting.
"Allison posted this five minutes ago. She's spending New Year's with Matteo. Look." She points to one of the few guys looking out at the sea, which I didn't even spot the first time I looked at the photo. "That's Matteo and the Barone brothers."
I feel bad for her because I can see my younger self in the way she analyses every single photo of an event he's at, in order to know exactly what he's doing and prepare for the worst.
"Maybe they're friends." I try.
"No, they always get together when they're at the same location. It's like she can't let go."
Shifting the blame completely on the girl was also something I used to do before I realized that the guy I was involved with was always just as responsible as everyone else. But when you think you're in love you only see the person next to you as who you'd like them to be, and who you know they could be, but never solely for who they are.
"But I guess I understand why she keeps going back."
"How so?" I ask, placing straws in each glass.
"The sex is incredible."
I look at the two glasses on the counter, trying to remember the last time I had sex. It was months ago, back in April probably, after I'd gone back to my ex for the last time and swore to myself that I would never do it again.
"It's like he knows exactly what he's doing and how he should be doing it. I didn't even have to tell him what I like."
"Sounds...fun."
"It is. And he's big as well. Just the right amount."
I make a face. "Not really something I wanted to know, but thank you." I joke.
"He's always going to be like that though, I guess I need to remind myself from time to time."
"Like what?"
We choose to stand by the bar in the corner of the living room where people are dancing, just to be near the music but also be able to talk. I can tell that she needs someone to talk to about her feelings for Matteo.
"He's never going to be able to settle for just one person. He gets bored easily, he always needs a new thing, a new distraction. And his dick just goes along with it. Doesn't care who it is as long as someone's there. And Allison's always there."
"Maybe he doesn't want love or romantic relationships right now."
"I think he doesn't even know what that means."
"Well, he was with Allison for a few years, right? Maybe he wants a break. Have fun."
"I meant he doesn't know what love is."
I shrug, looking out at the crowd of people. My eyes fall on a guy I remember seeing around school before. I always thought he was cute but he was a year above me and didn't even know I existed. I'm 95% sure that his name is Isaac, but there's a slight chance that I might be confusing him with someone else.
"Who's that?" I ask Raisa. She follows my gaze and smiles.
"That's Isaac. He's at New York University studying World Economics. He dated half of the girls in our year back when we were in middle school. We had the biggest crush on him, remember?" she laughs, and I smile, just to see him watching us now.
"Oh shit." I say and we laugh even harder now because we've been caught.
---
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"He's coming over here, I'm dying." Raisa says and I shush her as we both watch Isaac making his way over to us."You look familiar." He tells me and I exchange glances with Raisa."We used to go to the same middle school."
"This summer in Taormina, or at Matteo's apartment. It's so cute how he gets all fidgety around you.""I haven't noticed." I say, trying to remember the last time I talked to Marco and whether there were any cues. I don't like Raisa putting things in my head because I know she likes to gossip and may make things up just so she could have something to talk about. "And I'm not interested in anyone anyway right now. I want to focus on myself for a while.""Valentina, it seems like you've been doing that your whole life.""That's not fair. I was with Jamie for years.""Yes, and you spent all of your time with him and began ignoring your friends." I frown. "Not on purpose though.""Yes, I know. But I'm just saying, it's okay to have
MatteoManhattan, New York, United States 2020 – winter/springMatteo takes out a small silver box from the pocket by the door, then leans back into the seat. Valentina looks at his fingers, which are now holding a pre-rolled joint."Lucky how?" he asks, interested in entertaining this discussion.He can't figure out whether she's joking or being deadly serious, because she didn't even flinch nor ask questions when he told her the police let him go free for punishable offenses.Valentina watches him light up the joint. "Getting to go free when you get caught doing illegal stuff." She says, smirking at the irony of the situatio
He calls Vinnie on Thursday afternoon after he wakes up."Where are you?" Vinnie screams into the receiver to cover up the noise on his end."In bed. Where else?"
"Eddie!" Pia exclaims, crossing her arms and looking at Matteo for a second. It's hard for Matteo to think of her as Vinnie's twin. Even though she's about to turn 21 in April, he thinks of her like he thinks of Aurora: a younger sibling who needs to be protected. The fact that she usually keeps to herself and sometimes acts childish just enhances his image of her."Do you have a boyfriend?" Vinnie asks.Pia shakes her head, relaxing, and looks at Matteo again."Do you have a crush?" Isabella asks, turning to look at her."What? No!" she says, looking down at her phone."You do."Eddie screams at the TV when Matteo scores a goal, which takes the attenti
ValentinaNew York, United States 2020 – springThe club is packed when I get there a little before midnight, because Adrik took too long for once and not me. When I asked him who he was getting ready for, he told me to mind my own business.By now, the two girls at the entrance already know me and don't ask to see my ID. Instead, they place the VIP bracelet on my wrist and fake smile when they tell me to have fun. I find Isabella and Raisa talking next to one of the tables, and Adrik disappears around the time we start talking about boys."Isaac's here." Raisa informs me and points to the table next to us."So?" I drily ask. I've noticed that ever since we had those talks around New Year's, she's been much more open with me about...everything. About what she does with Matteo, how they get along, about what he's doing during the day or who he's with.Isabella steps closer. "You know Isaac?""We went to the same middle school in Moscow. He was a year older than me, and I had a crush on
An hour and a half later, Isaac and I are joined at the hip, chatting about literally anything that comes to our minds. I know my pupils are dilated to the point where my eyes are nearly black and that I'm talking way too much, but I'm having more fun with him than I thought I would. And heisfunny.I see Isabella plopped down on a couch looking lost, so I excuse myself and go over to her to see if she's okay.
"You didn't specify. And yes, we did. Molly."Matteo raises his eyebrows and looks at the boiling coffee. "Hm." He pauses. "I never would've thought he does drugs."I roll my eyes at him. "Everybody does drugs.""In theory, yes, but I think 'drugs are everywhere' would be more accurate. I just thought Isaac was always judgemental about this stuff because he plays football.""Looks like you're the judgemental one, hm?"I turn off the stove and push the pot away from the heated circle."Like you didn't judge him at first for being a football player."I blink at him with an innocent look on my face. "No, I didn't."