"What would you do if I got pregnant?"
"Are you gonna keep it?"
"What would you do if I haven't decided yet?"
"Well," he changes his sight from my face to the fascinating view from this terrace, "If you want to keep it, I will follow you to wherever you decide to stay. You'd want to finish your degree first so I guess we'll stay at London. Then wherever you get a job, I'll follow you. Or, if you don't wanna work, I'm fine with that too. I have enough money to take care of you two."
"So you'll buy me the house over there?" I point to the darkness towards where his eyes are directed to, "So our kid can just walk over here if she wants to see you?"
"Yeah. I'd want to be with you at every milestone."
"Are you sure about this?" Instead of answering me he just grins while taking a full view of my appearance. One week before everything is over, he suddenly thinks it's a wise decision to bring me to a wedding as his plus one. It's not just a wedding but a weekend wedding, complete with the rehearsal dinner, church ceremony, and the reception, two hours away from the city. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever met," he leans down and kisses me briefly, "I'm the luckiest man alive." "Because you get to fuck me?" "Mhmmm." "Well then you're not the luckiest, there are a few more before you." His face changes abruptly, but I haven't finished yet, "Perhaps another few after." I put a grin of my own, though my heart hurts from my own comment. It's been a few days I've been sabotaging us. No, I wouldn't call it that way because I'm just stating the truth. There will be more after him, at least two for the two semesters I'm gonna take next year. "You know what they say," he puts on a ha
"Of all the pictures I've taken, you still think a selfie is better?"I grin hearing his comment and lower down my phone, aborting mission for another selfie despite the perfect lighting and angle.He did take tons of good pictures throughout our time together which for tonight, they are all indeed spectacular.But you know when you have this ridiculously beautiful dress, face full of an hour worth of make up, the perfect hair after such struggles to style it, well, there will never be enough camwhoring despite all the good pictures. The effort of getting ready for the rehearsal dinner deserves to be recognised at least with ten worthy-to-post-at-Instagram pictures."Sit on my lap," he commands after taking a seat next to me, "let's take a selfie together."
We return to the city early since I didn't apply for a leave from work that Monday. He sends me straight to the office and for the first time in two months, I don't dread going to work for not having anything to do. Because that means I have plenty of time to think about it.Evie applied for a leave today so I really am on my own. I spent my lunch time at the nearby park, just watching people while having my sandwich.When I see young, good looking couple walk by, I itch to say yes. Yes to being with him. Yes to have someone who'd love me and want to be with me other than because of a contract. Yes to having a boyfriend.But when I go back to the office and sit in a meeting with an iron lady, I'm all about chasing the bright future, climbing the career ladder without any hassle or obstacles namely a boyfriend or a p
"Spitters are quitters." As if we're not making a scene already at the park, I laugh even louder hearing Evie's bold statement. I've stopped eating my sandwich, afraid if I'm gonna choke on it while listening to her. "I've never slept with anyone else so I don't exactly know if they taste the same but I'm really good at taking it." I wipe my tears seeing how proud she is, raising her half eaten burger to the air as if it's a trophy, "Every drop, Elle. Every. Single. Drop." And just like that I laugh hysterically as she grins, then takes a bite of her burger. "So you guys have been screwing since three months ago?" She asks casually when I've calmed myself, now resuming to eat my sandwich. I hum as I munch, "Mhmm." "Is it like going back and forth or you're staying with him?" She looks at me and before I managed to react she continues, "Which by the way, I know a certain Maybach sends and picks you up from work every day." I gasp, "How do you know?" "People have eyes, Elle. Esp
Have you ever wished something to go wrong so you won't have to do whatever you need to do, something you don't want to do? Like I wish there's some mix up with the contract that instead of 12 weeks, it says 21 weeks. Or the dates, instead of '17th of July to 17th of October, with the possibility of extension to 17th of January', the words between 'October' to '17th of' miraculously disappear leaving me no option but to stay until January. Or I haven't been so diligent with my pills that I missed one or two, miraculously planting a seed in me so I have to extend my existence in his life, until the end of it. Gosh there're so many things going through my mind of how much I want things to fuck up just so I can go back to him, because I really, really miss him. From having him with me every single day to a total disappearance like this, everything seems so wrong, so out of place. Worst of all, every single thing I do or see reminds me of him.
I'm exactly the girl your mother warned about.You know, the bad-influence friend who whores around instead of spending her time at the library, studying like a boring nerd.Well yeah, she's right. I am a bad influence, because I influence my friends with my luxury lifestyle. I unconsciously bait them with these high end materials I bought with the money I get from sleeping with older men, that after some time they're lured into being a baby, like me.My best friend Cleo joined Cupcake after being friends with me for two years. Unlike Kimmie, she came from a middle class family so I kinda understood how tempted she'd be seeing me in designer clo
Why, of all places, does he have to be here? At my home, my safe place? Three hours ago after we were done with dinner, Cleo already had Mr Montgomery's car waiting for her, while Kimmie hopped in an Uber to go to a bar meeting her date, so I went home for an early night. Just like any other night, when I'm not fucking anyone, I'd fuck myself by scrolling through the pictures and videos of us in my phone. As usual, once I'm all messed up by how much I miss us, remembering how fun we used to be, how amazing we were together at any time or place, with the spirit of totally convinced that I want him back in my life, I went to his social media to stalk on him, to feed my curiosity if he already has a new girl -or guy- so I can draft my next plan in case he's still available. Perhaps there's a chance for us,
I'm a realist but Owen has brought out the dreamer in me. Every time I end a contract I'd follow my very own guideline of How To Cope A Heartbreak in Less Than A Week. Because believe it or not, after spending 12 weeks with every one of them, doesn't matter if they aren't that appealing be it looks or attitude, I'm human. I released those oxytocin hormone, the love hormone everybody talks about, I got those when we had sex or did little things that in a way or another, I somehow fell for them. The guideline is so perfect that I would always able to function like a normal Estelle Evans again in less than a week. That's why I don't get it. I don't understand why I'm still hung up over that particular gay man. Why, after following the check list, through and through, I still can't get over him. I even did the unexpected thing; ran after him in the middle of the night. Exclusive Estelle must have mocked me from a distance right at that moment.