It's April, right in the middle of Spring. Everybody is wearing colorful clothes celebrating the perfect weather, blending in with the beautiful surrounding.
Blooming flowers, green trees, I used to love this season. In fact, it's my favorite season because I get to show off my pink dresses instead of hiding them in coats or cardigans.
But today, I dig my simple midi black dress at the back of my closet, the one I always wear on April 5th.
She would be five this year.
For four consecutive years, this day fell on working day. This year, it falls on a Saturday.
My best friends must have realised this too that's why they flied here early this week, just to be with me. What would I do if they're not in my life. I would'v
"If Santiago is out of the picture, who is the..." he doesn't finish his sentence, just waiting for me to fill it up."I picked a donor last week."He suddenly removes his black suit jacket and places it on his lap, then rids his cuff links that's engraved with OH, putting them in the pocket of his slacks. The neck tie was loosened, then the top two buttons of his dress shirt were made undone.Sensing the rising temperature of the man sitting next to me, I quickly add, "I never thought it'd be so much fun shopping for a sperm donor. Green eyes, blonde hair, six feet four. Do you know that green eyes are dominant compared to my blue eyes? My baby's gonna have green eyes!"He does't say
Cleo rushed home the second I replied her text asking for my whereabout. I wanted to blow up at him so bad, giving a piece of my mind but I'm fully aware that I'm trying my best to limit negative energy during times like this that's why I left, and took deep breaths until my bestie's home for me to pour everything out.For the next few hours, despite her presence as my personal clown, I'm still bothered by what happened with Owen so right after my shots, I decided to call it a night and head to bed.Yep, those two shots still hurt like a bitch. And my visit to the doctor today wasn't fruitful because she had to postpone it last minute due to personal issues so I have to come back tomorrow for the ultrasound.But from the result I received at the last check up, my ovaries are releasing five eggs each, making it a tot
"Cleo texted me to be here before 10."We spent an hour on the couch last night, which I remember word by word how he confessed he's still feeling uncomfortable to be with me because of this IVF but at the same time he promised he would never abandon me again so he'll try his best to be with me the most he can.I didn't think it'd be this soon. Like in less than 12 hours since the talk soon.Last night when I was already asleep, Cleo woke me up around 2 a.m., breaking down because her husband met with an accident at London. It wasn't major according to Mr Montgomery's assistant but she was in a mess that I had to pack all her stuffs while she so
It was awkward, to go from yelling at the top of your lung in the restroom of the fertility clinic to walking next to each other with a cheerful four year old in between.It didn't get any better as the day progressed when we barely said a word to each other, but still remained together throughout the day. As planned, we picked up Pao after the appointment, had lunch, then did the grocery shopping.We came home to drop the groceries while waiting for Pao to finish her ballet class. I hid in my bedroom as he entertained himself out there doing God knows what, until it's almost 4 when he knocked softly on the slightly opened door."Are you asleep?" He asks in a low tone, trying to keep his voice down in case I'm napping.I don't answer him, shutting my eyes tight to preten
"I need something to distract me." I announce once I stand in front of my bedroom door, staring at him who seems to be taking the word mi casa es tu casa very seriously.He's sitting lazily on my couch with a beer bottle on the coffee table, a hand is dipped in the popcorn bowl while another is hidden in the throw blanket -don't ask me what's it doing in there-, definitely enjoying himself while watching a movie. An action movie by the looks of it, not some hand-in-the-blanket kinda movie."I need something to distract me," I repeat, "I keep on thinking about what happened at the clinic. Thinking all of the if's. Bad if's. I can't sleep, Owen. Distract me." I sigh loudly but he smiles then
Have I mentioned how stubborn I am? Or the abundant milestones I've achieved in my life from that stubbornness?Done with all ten stimulation injections, also with the ultrasound, the blood work, and just a few hours ago my doctor shared how both my follicles are in eggcellent condition that she agreed, or rather surrendered to my stubbornness to proceed with the trigger shot."Yay! I did it! I did it guys!" I shout in joy in front of the laptop, videocalling my besties.The girl besties, since the gay guy bestie is currently sending his daughter home; Pao thr
"Did you just-"He doesn't have to answer me nor for me to complete that question because I've known this man for more than ten years now, and I've seen this look a million times before so yes, yes he just finished in me after what felt like ten pumps. Or less.The kiss. That's how everything started; the kiss. We were kissing. A lot.And my hands. Oh my God my hands.My hands definitely had their own mind when they crept to the hem of his shirt, rolling it up that when it reached his chest, we involuntarily pulled our lips apart so he could remove that piece of clothing.I should've used that two seconds to reflect what I just did, enc
I can hear clearly the cheerful voice along with a laughing sound from the other side of this door. Sighing, I open the main door of my apartment as the owner of the cheerful voice jumps off the chair and runs to me, "Tiaaaaaaa!"He's standing on the other side of the kitchen island, right where he was when he came in me last night. Not laughing anymore, just looking at me the way I am at him.Urgh, the thought of having his sperm swimming in my body is making me mad right now. Why did we go to that road. Have we learned nothing from all the IVFs we did before?"Where did you go?" She asks, pulling my hand towards the kitchen, "We cooked breakfast for you!"I really don't have the energy to entertain Pao so I keep looking at her papa that's still in the same outfit as la