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I'm super grateful that the following day is Saturday so I don't have to see him for the next four days. Though at the same time I've been scrolling through our past photos and videos, especially during my personal time with my boyfriends. Girl needs inspiration, okay.
But that Wednesday afternoon when I arrive home, dinner isn't ready yet. It's weird, because normally around 6, everything's already on the table.
He's standing behind the island, punching a dough with his daughter. Looks like we're having pizza today.
I return to the kitchen once I've changed into another one of my boring loose sweater and maternity leggings, wanting to participate in the pizza making. If it were up to me, I'd rather chill with Nancy, watching Netf
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It was awkward since that picture.I don't know about him but I felt awkward, so I barely talked to him, or be near him. Though I did feel a bit down to compare what I used to look like as displayed in the picture, with my current state.The next day I went to a lingerie store to buy new ones on my attempt to shake off this feeling I've been having since the past few weeks; that I'm like a stuffed turkey during Thanksgiving.There are limited styles and sizes I could squeeze into but I accepted the fact that I was pregnant so I was okay to come home with just two huge paper bags instead of my initial intention to wipe off everything off the rack
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"I know because," he takes the last pizza slice before answering how he knew I dismissed Nancy three hours earlier than usual today, "I receive a notification every time she logs in or logs out. The agency has this app, to record her hours.""App? What app?" I turn my body to face him, fully invested with this certain app he just mentioned, "What else does this app do? And why don't I get an access to the app like you?""Because I'm the one who employ her...?" He gives this duh look with this duh tone to which I roll my eyes to."Foine, Mr Big Money.""We both know that's not the only big thing I hav
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"I need to fuck you hard and fast and I'm gonna come in half a second but I promise I'll make it up the next round. Is it okay?"I laugh despite his serious facial expression, knowing he's trying to be honest from now on even to that point but I laugh anyway, because it's too cute. For the fact my legs are wide apart with his head in between them."What if I say no?"He crawls upward then parks both his arms on each of my side, leaning to my lips and steals a kiss. I moan, already wanting my second bliss of happiness after he gave one with his mouth."Is it still a no?"I grin, "No."He leans for another kiss, resting his huge body next to me as I follow along by lying sideway, re
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Have you ever done something stupid which afterwards when you've recovered from the high, you now feel the cringe every time you remember the bits of it?I wish I didn't sleep with him last night.I wish I thought about it, and said no instead of diving into it. Though I did say no, I was just weak; incapable to decline his charm. I mean, who'd say no to a fine specimen like that, someone who you've been fantasising for a while now.I wore his shirt for a reason, and why would I settle for the shirt if I can have the man himself. Why would I smell the shirt to feel him when I can have him right inside me, filling me to the brim.I've spent the entire day at the office thinking
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"Be honest, do I look pretty?"I have this important meeting today at the office so I'm hoping my pregnancy won't be the spotlight. My work should be, as always. I sometimes hate how I get special treatment just because I'm pregnant, or the fact this is my first baby after ten years. I'm not fragile, I'm just pregnant.I mean, yeah, thank you for being sensitive. But I can work just fine. Stop asking me to go home when it's only 4. I'm capable to stay until late evening, just as I've been doing every Monday and Tuesday for the past seven months."You want me to be honest or to tell you pretty?"I can't believe he had the audacity to joke like that when I'm all serious this morning.He grins perhaps finally catching the invisi
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I really don't wanna leave work when the clock hits 6, wanting to delay as long as I can by pretending I need to finish up everything though in reality, all those can wait. Time goes so slow until I've had it with my back pain so I packup and leave the office. If he stays, he stays. If he doesn't, so what. Life goes on. Afterall, I never wanted to be with him after the baby's out. It's just me and my girls. As expected, he's not home when I unlock my place at 10. I don't have the appetite to eat because all I want to do once I realise he really isn't home is to lie on the bed and hide under the blanket. It's pathetic of me to look for him at every corner after what I did. I literally sent him away in a silver platter. I drop my bag on the floor then go under the duvet without minding my work clothes, covering my
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"How far along are you?"The fact that this would be the first time he has ever said anything to me since the fight makes me stop drinking my water as I put down the glass on the hard surface in front of me, finally taking the whole view of the man I didn't share the bed with last night. Instead, I cried like a pathetic human being on the couch while talking to my best friends.Well, just two more nights then he can relieve his duty to Kimmie since she's wrapping up her work to be here with me until delivery.As of last night's video call, I'm instructed to engage with my psychologist first thing in the morning because according to her, "This is a cry for help, exactly like five years ago. Call her, set an appointment, talk to her before you become suicidal again
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