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Chapter 30: Mariana
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Goalie Chapter 31: Santos
After ten years of playing professional soccer and fifteen years of my life before that, I thought cleaning out my locker would be hard. I thought it would be full of nostalgia and memories. Of course, I also thought it would be complete with pomp and circumstance from younger players congratulating me on my retirement and a career well done.Instead, it was just me, myself, and I tossing out old deodorant, notebooks of plays that have long since been revised, and team-owned gear to be disinfected and passed on to the next guy.It's an extremely underwhelming send-off, but it's right this way. Soccer had been my obsession for the majority of my life, but somewhere along the way, it had become my downfall. For that reason alone, I don't need it to be celebrated.Just like an alcoholic doesn't have a big drinking party to celebrate sobriety, I don't want a big party celebrating my attempts at rearranging my routines and patterns.To say my coach had been shocked by my immediate resignati
Goalie Chapter 32: Mariana, Part 1
"I'm actually surprised to see you," Justin announces, as he closes his office door and we make ourselves comfortable on the couches.His office is pretty much how I pictured it: homey couch, a couple of chairs, bookshelf full of reference material. The only thing that kind of surprises me is that the chairs are recliners, but I can see how that would put some people at ease. It is a therapist's office after all."I know Santos said you were going to come in, but it's not that often that I see both the ex-husband and the ex-wife."I smile at him. I only met him a few minutes ago, but so far, I like him. He's handsome in a guy-next-door way. He's got a kind face and is dressed in jeans. It's more like I'm talking to a friend than to a therapist. No wonder Santos likes him."I figured Santos and I have to co-parent for the next seventeen years, so we might as well use the same person and stay on the same page for the kids. I mean, that's okay, right?" The thought crosses my mind that may
Goalie Chapter 33: Mariana, Part 2
"Wait." I rub my temples as I try to make sense of it all. "You're saying Santos cheated on me for all those years because he might have a medical condition that exacerbates his stupid superstitions?""In a very basic nutshell, yes."I stare at him, mouth open. I want to hear what Justin is saying and having it all make sense… make it all this easy. Instead, it makes me mad. "I call bullshit.""Why?""Why?" I laugh, humorlessly. "Because we were married for ten years. He could have easily come home and gotten his 'medical condition,"' I sarcastically use air quotes, "… under control with me. But he didn't. He chose to go out and bang any groupie who was willing to spread her legs for him. No way. He made a choice. Every time.""I agree with you.""Good. Because there is no way I'm accepting that as an excuse." "I'm not asking you to. And I'm not making excuses for him. Regardless of how difficult the situation was, he had choices and he knew what he was doing."I nod and feel my anger
Goalie Chapter 34: Santos, Part 1
Applications. Essays. Transcripts. I am up to my eyeballs in paperwork.I lean back in the chair and stretch my arms over my head, pretending not to notice Mari watching my shirt ride up showing a bit of my abs. I cover my smile by leaning my head back and stretching some more. It's a good feeling, knowing she's still attracted to me.As the front legs of the chair land back on the ground, I start watching what the kids are doing. Really watching. I know they've been playing together, but I was so lost in the spider web of online applications that I wasn't really paying attention to their game."What are they actually doing?" I ask Mari. She's sitting next to me at the table on her own laptop, some of her pictures on the screen.Without even looking up at them, she knows exactly what they're doing. "Playing the world's worst game of hide and seek."I focus my attention on the kids again and she's right. It is, in fact, the world's worst version of this game. I watch as Lina hides her e
Goalie Chapter 35: Santos, Part 2
I'm immediately on guard, wondering what has her so upset. Mari, however, stays calm. "Theo pooped mom! He pooped! And it stinks! You need to change him," she demands."Why don't you change him?" she teases back.Myra crinkles up her little nose in disgust. "Ew, Mom. I don't know how to change a diaper.""Hmm. Maybe it's time you learned how," Mari suggests."Mooom. Come on," Myra pleads, the previous topic no longer up for discussion."I'll go," I say, rising to my feet. "If I don't get away from this computer for a little bit, I just may launch it across the room.""Thank you. He poops so much, my nose can no longer tell the difference between the smell of poop and baby wipes.""He got his constitution from his daddy!" I pat my belly and give her a big ornery grin."Yes, he does. Also, I can't believe you just said that, weirdo. His diapers should be in the diaper holder next to the bed. If it's empty, check under his crib."I walk by the girls' room and see Theo standing with his ha
Goalie Chapter 36: Santos, Part 3
"Babe, I don't know which brand we decided to get. Was it Pampers or…" As soon as she sees us, Tiffany stops in her tracks next to Rowen. He reaches for her and tucks her under his arm as she looks at us, wide-eyed.None of speak. We all just stand there, looking at each other. I put my arm around Mari's waist. I don't know if I do it in a show of possession or to show her my support. What I do know is that this is one of the reasons I quit the team. Scenarios like this. My mistakes are putting Mari in an extremely uncomfortable position and I'm not sure what to do. So I wait.Eventually, Mari takes a big breath and speaks. "Pampers Swaddlers are really good when they're first born. Do you guys have a Sam's Club membership?""Um… no," Tiffany sputters quietly."I would recommend getting one. Diapers are a lot cheaper there, and if it's a boy, the only diapers that hold Theo overnight is the Sam's Club brand.""Oh. Okay.""So how far along are you?" Mari asks, surprising all of us whe
Goalie Chapter 37: Mariana, Part 1
"Uncle Marcus, Uncle Marcus!"I smile when I hear the girls racing to greet him and Theo finally catching up yelling what sounds like "Unca-Muck". I gave Marcus the apartment key for emergencies. Apparently babysitting so I can go out is an emergency.But it keeps me from having to go to the door in my robe, so I have no reason to complain.Slowly, so I don't accidentally poke myself in the eye, I swipe mascara over my top lashes. It takes a few minutes to make sure I get all the lashes. Those little ones on the side like to play hard to get.Finally, I stand back and look at myself in the mirror. Not bad. I'm not used to wearing so much make-up so the smoky-eye effect needs a little work, but overall I think I did a pretty good job. The lady at Ulta who did my makeover would be pleased.A low whistle comes from the doorway where Marcus is leaning, arms crossed. "Look at you all gussied up. Your make-up looks amazing.""So I did it right?""Yep. You're getting a lot better at putting i
Goalie Chapter 38: Mariana, Part 2
"So how was China? Did you do a lot of sight-seeing?"Tom and I sit opposite each other at Akashi, a local sushi restaurant. It's been a long time since I've had sushi and I don't really remember if I like it. But with my new life comes trying new things. So here I am, drinking sake and ordering a couple of different rolls just to see what I think."I didn't have as much time as I wanted. I was in charge of hiring and training all the new employees and getting it done as quickly as possible. Most days I worked twelve hours or more.""Seven days a week?" "Yep." He takes a sip of his sake and wipes his mouth with his napkin. "I wanted to get back home as soon as possible. Being away from my kids for nine weeks was rough. I didn't want to extend my stay.""I'm sure. Did you get to talk to them at all while you were gone? What with the time difference?""We Skyped a few times, but the reception isn't that great. The screen would freeze up often. That part was irritating, but it turns out
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