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Chapter 50
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Guilty pleasures Chapter 51
Sarah had bought the house of her dreams. She had never thought that one day she would finally be a home owner.Things were great in the beginning. They started a new routine, saying grace before dinner, bathtime, learning time and so forth.Sarah enjoyed coming home to her own home. With her two lovely fur babies, her kids that she loved so much and Jacob.Although money was now tight because the bond was higher than the rent they paid previously, they still enjoyed the little things in life.The neighborhood was quiet and the night sky was clear. The air was crisp and unpolluted.Sarah's sister, Cheryl whose husband was a cheating pig, finally decided to leave him. She had put through a divorce.The ironic thing was that Mark Molt and Jacob were good friends.Sarah did not want to involve herself with this family issue, however Jacob started inviting Mark over.Until he finally wormed himself back into Cheryl's life.Life seemed different to Sarah now. She was no longer feeling the j
Guilty pleasures Chapter 52
Night before wedding, I don't know why and whose, but I attended. It was one of Jacob's family members. Jacob and I were off and on dating. I saw him standing across me and my pulse quickened, my mouth went dry and I was giddy. It was that feeling I always got when I saw him. A feeling of longing. A feeling of wanting. Music started to play and a love song came on. Couples took to the floor, holding each other tightly and dancing closely. Jacob walked towards me, my head felt light as I watched him get closer. He approached and with one swift motion he grabbed my friend next to me and led her to the dance floor. My heart felt as if it had burst. My heart cried in pain as I watched them dance closely together. His family members looked at me, synical grins on their faces, as if I was a joke. I felt so embarrassed but I couldn't do anything about it except stand their like a wounded animal. I forced a smile on my face trying to hide the pain I felt within. My heart yet again ha
Guilty pleasures chapter 53
Sarah wiped a stray tear. She looked at the time and sipped a long sip of wine. It was still early. She wasn't hungry yet.2005Jacob was no longer in school and was working odd jobs. He had very little time for me. As usual the year went by with us being off and on.2006Wow. This was an enlightening year. I played club cricket and my saterdays were spent playing against other teams, other people from other areas, suburbs, towns and provinces. It was my passion and hobby. I simply loved it.Jacob had come to see me once. I was with my team mates watching the game as it was our turn to bat. Jacob walked up to me and tried to lure me away from the game. I declined him more than once. He didnt take it lightly and grabbed my arm, tugging me ruthlessly. The embarrassment I felt was unbearable. He was being like a beast. He eventually backed off angrily. Screaming like a crazy person. I did not ask him to come. Why blame me?, why make it seem like I called you. It was another red flag
Guilty pleasures Chapter 54
It was hard to go back and feel what she felt then. Somehow it felt more painful now. It felt as if those scars never healed.2008 continued.As I lay on my seat thinking about the times I went on a date with Jacob, I could only count two. Two whole dates where we just went the cinema, watched a movie and had lunch.After those two dates, we went to a cheap hotel to have sex.That's all we did throughout the year until the day I married him.That should have been a red flag but as usual, my heart betrayed me. My heart let me get used to being treated this way.As I waited one afternoon for my mum, Jacob approached me. He used to live across the road. After a small argument he swung his arms frantically trying to make contact with my face. I dodged it, but the anger in his voice made me shudder.It was another red flag.2009January thirty first I moved out with Jacob to a small one bedroom basement. It was so amazing at first. We both woke up around the same time, had a shower, change
Guilty pleasures Chapter 55
2009Jacob.New job. New behavior. New life. I was now just an option.The disappearing acts became frequent. I did not know where he was going. All that he told me was that he was going to purchase a loaf of bread on a Friday afternoon and would be gone for the entire night with my second sister's husband. It's funny how the story comes out of where they had gone, months and years later. I asked him about it and he denied every word. Saying it was just a bunch of lies. He had never been to teasers that night, he had never gone to Chatsworth that night. It had become a sequence of excuses and lies. The truth stared me in the face and I chose to believe the lies. My heart never wanted to feel the pain. It was easier that way, to believe his lies and block out the hard truth. Now when I look back, the red flags were there. I ignored it. I was stupid. I chose to love. I still choose to love. I chose to make it work. He would always say that no one wants to see us happy together. Th
Guilty pleasures Chapter 56
The week flew by and before I knew it, my appointment was here.The entire week, Jacob droned on and on about having a baby while all I felt was a wave of mixed emotions. By now I had to disclose to my boss about my pregnancy and half of work already knew. I was at a society pleaser and I always worried about what people would say.Although I knew I was not ready, and sure as hell, Jacob was not ready even though he seemed excited, I knew this was something that needed a responsible man. Jacob was far from responsible. He always seemed to be leaving me to have these so called boys nights out, or partying with friends. There were days where I just didn't know where he was or if he was coming home. I would just wake up panicked because we would go to bed together but a few hours later I wake up alone in bed.I had changed my mind on the T. O. P.I decided to have the baby.I hated the morning sickness. I was weak and drained. Jacob was not much of a help. He took out a loan and purchase
Guilty pleasures Chapter 57
Sarah sat, swallowing the last bit of wine from the bottle. This was a painful memory, she had blocked out. She knew she needed to face all of her past so that she could move forward.Night before the wedding.I dressed up in my wedding outfit and washed my hair, oiling it, leaving locks of curls.Jacob wore a blue jeans and a t shirt. I did not question why he was so casual.He drove into the parking lot. As I opened the door exit the car, I noticed he did not switch the engine off. I turned around with questioning eyes as he made an excuse."I have something to do, I will be back in a bit.",he said coldly.I knew it meant that I should not question him further. He had always sunk it in my head that iy was his car and I should noy question where he goes.I didn't question him. I got off and walked into the hall.The decor was stunning. Everyone had arrived and as usual I was fashionably late.Minutes turned into hours and Jacob did not attend. It was now midnight and everyone had go
Guilty pleasures Chapter 58
I did not sleep.I heard this man snoring for two hours straight.I went into the shower, checking that I was alright. No signs of any blood, I rubbed my tummy as I took a shower.My back ached and my head was still sore but it was my brother's wedding. I had to wear my prettiest smile and pretend that nothing happened last night.I changed into a pants and shirt, carrying my outfit with me. It was a four hour drive and we needed to leave soon.I woke Jacob up. He groaned and layed in bed. He looked at me and went back to sleep.I sat and begged him to wake up.He swore at me and I retreated.I made a cup of coffee and waited in the lounge.Half an hour later he gets into the shower. It was almost six o clock and the wedding starts at ten.I was scared to rush him, so I sat silently like a visitor on the couch.We left at six to fetch his mother.As soon as she looked at him, she asked about the scratches on his face.Immediately he lied. He said that the car had a problem and when he
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