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Chapter 79
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Guilty pleasures Chapter 80
Sometimes I, Sarah White, sat and fantasized about things ending. Before I went to sleep at night I prayed, asking for forgiveness for my thoughts. I would fantasize about some rich lady that Jacob would be having an affair with. She would pull up outside our house and he would pack his bags, telling me his leaving and leave with her. I somehow felt relieved that he was gone. It made things so much easier than me thinking of walking out because in today's society ,men are never wrong. It is always the woman who takes the blame for a failed marriage, for her husband's faults. I worried about what people thought. I felt as if it was a label placed on my forehead and will haunt me for the rest of my life.Although sometimes I thought it would hurt if he left but I somehow always felt a relief as if this burden was lifted off my shoulders.I just fantasized about that because he always sunk the words deep in my head that if I left him, he would have no where to go and then be would start
Guilty pleasures Chapter 81
Was it his birthday?I couldn't really tell.But now when I look back I wasn't sure of anything.Sometimes he made me feel as if I was making stuff up. He had disenabled me by causing friction between my family and I. I was totally secluded and Jacob was the only person I had.It was as if he was in my head. I felt alone and the more I thought about it the more I didn't want to be on this earth.I had felt as if my family had abandoned me. The more Jacob treated me as a doormat, the deeper I fell into depression. There was no one there to understand me. Everyday I came from work and focused on the kids so that I didn't have to talk to Jacob.I just didn't know when the love ended but it did.It could have been in the beginning of the marriage when he started f***ING Shontel because life was never the same after seeing that text. I knew deep down in my heart I meant sh** to him.I blamed myself. Maybe I was just not good enough. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough. Maybe I wasn't black eno
Guilty pleasures Chapter 82
It wasn't all but a dream. The next morning I received a message over social media.It was him. He was checking up if I was alright. He knew me well and I guess that he picked up that this wasn't me. At first I played it cool, eventually I couldn't hold it in any longer.After letting out every bit of sadness that made a home in my heart, I felt relieved.The next afternoon,Grant came over with a pack of beers. Everyday we spoke and everyday I complained.Maybe I shouldn't have complained. Maybe I shouldn't have spoken.But for once I actually felt happy. For once I was actually being heard. Someone was taking my thoughts and feelings into consideration. Although I was the one who had cut all ties with him for a misunderstanding that was never about him, he was still the same caring person as always.Thinking back about that misunderstanding:I had just started a new job and I decided to take out a life cover for my dad who had asked me to.He felt that we should at some point bene
Guilty pleasures Chapter 83
Grant texted me all day, listening to my complaints about my other half.He listened without judgement and I knew as usual he wouldn't believe me.No one did.until....He started staying over more frequently.we because close and I started to feel attracted to him.The distance between Jacob and I grew wider and wider until it was just a large empty space.I don't know when that happened and when the gap between Grant and I became non existent.I don't know when I had these feelings but they were there and it was hard to ignore.As the days went by I tried to reach out to Jacob.I called him up one day and asked him to spend lunch with me. His cold reply brought tears to my eyes. " I see you everyday. I don't need to spend lunch time with you and besides I already have plans."As Grant saw the coldness in Jacob everyday , he tried to make me happier.He invited me to lunch and I accepted.I drove to his work place and he ordered food.It was the first time trying this new restaurant
Guilty pleasures Chapter 84.
It took me back to the day I started writing. it eased my mind and kept me occupied from the pain. Writing made me forget, it took me to my own imaginary world that blocked out the nastiness of reality. There was just too much going on, the pain inside had become like an arrow to the heart. I could not run nor could I had hide from my own harsh reality. I needed an escape and writing had become my own self taught councelling.I started writing CHEATED by the CEO which basically revolved around my sister's life.Chapter 1* Best CEO ever, Mark Molt!!! **clap, clap, clap*Everyone applauded as Mark stood in the centre of the law firm. He smiled from ear to ear, showing of his deep dimples. He was every girls dream guy, but he was also a married man with kids. The ultimate party animal. With hair so black and sleek and a well chiseled face, he could be called God's gift to women. His eyes so blue like the deepest ocean and lips that invited you in, woman had to fight the urge that he is
Guilty pleasures Chapter 85
Chapter 2Back at the Party, Mark Molt gulped down glass after glass of the finest alcohol. The music played loudly whilst everyone danced, married or not they were all grinding up on each other. A sexual song suddenly came on. It was ''Monifah,Touch it''.Mark sat crossed legged on the office chair when he felt delicate fingers trace around his neck and shoulders.There was someone singing in his ears. This secy voice sending shivers uo his soine awakening desire within him. He wondered who it could be.It was Joey Bloom, dressed in a mini skirt, halter neck top and high heals. Her cleavage was popping out of her shirt, as she turned him around in his chair. Everyone knew Mark always had atleast one good fling at every office party. He already slept with most of the woman in the firm.They all slept with him willingly.Every woman wanted a part of Mark Molt.The ladies always gossiped that he was a stallion in bed.Joey Bloom did not get her chance ,she was always outrun by the other woman,
Guilty pleasures Chapter 86
Chapter 3*Knock, knock*As Charlie held a sleeping Jessica, he leaned against the wall for support outside her door and strained his arm to knock on her door. He knocked the door quiet hard since no one had answered the door yet, he started to pang his closed fist against the door in frustration. Jessica was dead weight. His arm was becoming numb. He heard the lock on the doot turn and out came a stubby man. Round as a barrel, smelling of cheetos. It was an unpleasant sight and smell. He had never seen such a disgusting person in his life before living in an apartment. He belonged on a street corner, begging for change. " So YOU brought her home. Did you have a good time, was it so good she sprained her ankle and fell asleep".Just leave her on the bed as he motioned Charlie to leave her on their bed. He left her down gently. He walked to the living room to see that everything was a mess. There was dishes piled on the coffee table, clothes in the floor and beer cans piled next to t
Guilty pleasures Chapter 87
Chapter 4Jessica woke up with a throbbing headache. Her head ached, her foot ached. Her body ached. Everything just ached. She sat up slowly trying not to strain her foot. As her thoughts flooded into her mind with the events of last night, she felt nauseas. She remembered going to the hospital and then everything was blank.Jessica was blank. She really could not remember anything after the hospital and this made her panic. She could feel an anxiety attack rising within her. Her chest tightened. She felt as if she was suffocating. She cupped her hands over her mouth taking a few deep, quick breathes. A technique she learnes when she was a child. It was something she lived with most of her life. Whenever she got stressed out, even by the most slightest things, she would freak out drastically, leading to a panic attack. As she calmed down and started to massage her temples her daughter jumped on the bed next to her. " Hey mom, what happened to your foot?" she asked, her eyebrows now f
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