Chapter 22: Chocolate And Tequila

In bed, I poured over the day, finding it hard to shut down my mind. Now that I made my decision about school, I couldn't wait. I was looking forward to talking to Brad, to making friends, to stop volunteering as a punching bag and just be myself. And if they didn't like me? No big change there. I was mad at myself for letting the years of bullying get to me. When had I gotten so weak, so unwilling to stand up for myself? When did being like them become more important than being me?

My mind shied away from the answer. I think I knew wherever it came from was at the core of my distaste for magic. Ever since I could remember, I felt an aversion to using my power, like something inside me screamed "No!" every time I tried to tap in. It didn't hurt or anything, aside from making my stomach queasy and giving me a brief case of the dizzies. It almost felt like my conscience trying to stop me. Over the years I'd grown to listen to it. Maybe it meant I wasn't supposed to be a witch after all.