I half expected to run into resistance at Castle Sthol. Old habits die hard, after all. But instead of the typical animosity of the past, I was instead greeted with awe and more than a little fear by the vampires who stood guard at the front gate.Yes, I could have landed myself and my vampire friends in the middle of Pannera's throne room. But I was learning diplomacy and figured sugar might get me farther than arrogance and bullying.Sunny and Uncle Frank took the lead, Sassafras perched in my uncle's arms. Sebastian remained back, with me, his hand brushing mine twice as we entered the large gates at the front of the castle and were ushered inside.On impulse, I flexed my fingers and felt his slip into mine. Guilt tried to rise, Liam's face. But I pushed it down, tightened my grip on Sebastian's hand.Liam was gone. Had been for almost a year.Time to move on, Syd.I looked up, caught Sebastian's little smile, how his dark blue eyes watched me without pressure, but filled with
I hated to give her hope, but felt it rise like a flare of flame, her fingers trembling in my grasp. "You have a cure?"I couldn't help but turn and look at Sebastian who nodded to me before bowing to his former queen.Pannera coughed again, softer this time. "My darling Sebastian," she said. "How I've missed you."He came to her side at once, kneeling next to me, face so sad I wanted to hug him. "Sweet Pannera," he whispered. "Let Sydlynn help you."Her gray eyes went from his face to mine. "Tell me what you have in mind."Sebastian's power flared, engulfed her and Pannera gasped. "You know I've changed," he said. "But I'm certain you have no idea just how much."The Sthol vampires sighed as one as they felt his life, heard his heartbeat. I held my breath as the sound of it, amplified by his magic, thudded against the stone walls before he let it fall silent.Pannera's eyes flared with spirit power. "You can do this thing?""I can try," I said, suddenly afraid. What if I faile
I said goodbye to Sunny and Uncle Frank, refusing to even talk to them about their own transformations, at least for now. Not after I'd failed with Pannera, had to tread the walk of shame-at least, in my own head-down the throne room aisle, past the watching, grieving vampires until I couldn't stand it anymore.Lifted Sassafras into my arms, cuddling him close, as I tore open the veil and returned us to Castle Wilhelm."I won't pressure you," Sunny said as we touched down in her throne room, "but I want you to consider it."I nodded, miserable still, Sass's purr only taking the edge from my failure. No, I didn't care I'd failed. I cared Pannera was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it.Yeah, she'd been my enemy once. But damn.Hell of a way to go.Sebastian took my elbow in one hand as I tore the veil again for home."I'd very much like to speak to your mother," he said.Whatever. He could have traveled on his own, couldn't he? Still, it was nice to feel the w
We sat at the table, my carnal thoughts making me blush as Sebastian turned and sank into a chair, still holding my son. Those thoughts turned to "awww" as he softly rubbed Gabriel's back with one big hand, while Mom served us wine and some fruit and cheese. I bit into a strong piece of cheddar just for something to focus on as my demon rumbled her continuing interest, hand fisted around my glass of milk.Sebastian waved Mom off when she made the offer of some cabernet."I no longer enjoy the taste of alcohol," he said. Winked at me. "The only disappointment in all this."Mom's eyes locked on Gabriel as she sat and, without prompting, Sebastian handed him over while a little seed of resentment woke up, cutting through my consideration of his strong hands, the way his muscular chest rippled through the open collar of his white shirt.I'd tried to save his former queen, hadn't I? And he gives Gabriel to my mother.Typical.Sebastian told Mom everything while she rocked my son in an
Mom was already back and watching me as I turned away from where Sebastian had stood. Her eyes twinkled, a naughty look on her face as she closed the kitchen door behind her.Damn flushing reflex. He'd just told me we couldn't be together, hadn't he? And I was still all fangirl gooey over him.Mom had the decency not to say anything, just crossed the room and hugged me."I thought you had a meeting?" I didn't mean to be grumpy. She let me go, retrieved her wine."I rescheduled," she said. Shocking. "Not often my daughter and grandson come to visit."I felt Gabriel twitch in his sleep, disturbed a little. Probably gas. Then, he sighed and settled again."He's still passed out," I say by way of a hint.Mom's pout flashed across her face so fast I giggled.We sat again, she at the end of the table with her wine, me picking at the cheese tray as we talked. Funny, I wasn't ready to go home yet, just enjoying my mother's company.Until I had to open my big mouth and ask about the on
Why is everything all black and fuzzy? Numbness pulls at me, hums to me to return to the dark and be still. I almost do, want to, for some reason. There is great comfort in it, in the embrace of the black and the haziness of the nothing.Have I fallen into my sorcery? Into a gaping hole made for travel from the hungry black of my power, only to be lost?No, that can't be right. I can hear voices, can't I? Familiar voices, ones I know very well. They make me want to focus, to listen and understand why I am here, floating in the dark.Even as I do, my soul flinches. Cries out. Tries to retreat. Something isn't right. A fundamental something, tied to the center of who I am.But what? And do I really want to know?Light assaults me, bright and terrible, and only then do I realize I'm blinking. Looking up into Lula's face while she talks from very far away. Not to me.To Mom. Who hovers over me, face lined in strain, hands clenched tight to her chest.Why are they upset?And should
They pulled me back at last, finally jerking me from the black to face it. To face my loss, a loss so deep it smothered the sadness I felt for Liam. Devoured any caring for my own personal safety. Destroyed any hope I had to ever, ever be happy again.Never again.My son was dead.Crib death, Lula called it. Which only rarely happened to witch babies, for obvious reasons. Because their mothers took care of them, didn't they? Used power to protect them, guard over them, keep them breathing and alive and beautiful.What the hell kind of mother was I?Trill lay down next to me, resting her head on my pillow, hand under her cheek on my shoulder. "Please don't run again," she whispered. "I almost didn't find you this time."I wished she hadn't. Stared at the canopy above me and willed myself to die.Just die already.A giant face appeared at the foot of my bed, topping broad shoulders, scaled skin, diamond eyes. Max. My hate raged."You brought me back." Spit flew from my lips. "Yo
Maybe I should have feared her. What she might have become. The last time I saw Alison, she'd attacked me, tried to steal my crystal from Demetrius.Was blown apart by the power.Instead, the boiling hate woke in full force as I grasped her by the front of her shirt-part of me remembering she was corporeal at the last minute-and shook her.And shook her.And shook her. Until my arms ached. Until I was sobbing for air, pouring all of my rage and bile over her, dumping the shreds of my guilt and fury and shattered remains of my heart.Alison simply sat there.And took it.Which made it worse. I jerked her toward me, pressed my nose into hers as I screamed at her my final shred of need in this world."Show me my baby!"Alison finally reacted, twitched."You gather echoes. Where is he?" I pushed away from her, stood, spun to face her, power crackling as the girls woke. Finally, something to do, to focus on. Someone to punish.Someone else.Her tears, her sadness, cracked me d