Chapter 11

That Saturday, I found myself hiding in my parents’ bathroom during a family dinner. Why? Oh, I’d just told everyone I was married now and living with my husband. Surprise!

At the moment, I was avoiding speaking to my husband. Because I knew that if I spoke to him, he’d try something. Like seduce me.

So I kept our conversations as unsexy as possible if I needed to say anything at all. A guy can’t really work with questions like “Where’s the toilet paper?” and “When does your recycling go out?” Not even someone like Liam Gallagher, seduction expert.

But now I had a more important issue than the possibility of making recycling bins sexy: explaining to my family that I was married.

The conversation thus far before I’d run to hide in the bathroom had been as follows:

“You’re what?”

“To who? David? Did he beg for you to take him back?”

“Why would you marry David? He cheated on you. He sucks.”

“Are you joking? You have to be joking. It’s not a good joke, Mari. Stop this.”

My parents