Chapter 41

The next two weeks saw an endless parade of visitors. Instead of heading out of the house everybody wished to see me. I was holed up in the parlous serving endless rounds of tea, answering the same dozen questions and smiling until my jaw hurt. Edmund believed himself mean by not taking me to every ball and invitation, in reality I was too tired.

I had a new physician, Doctor Irwin Mathers. He was of the new school of midwifery, had attended to various royal family members and was a warm, gentle soul. He was from Ireland originally and had the kindest eyes. His patchwork black and grey hair reminded me of a badger which seemed cruel to point out.

When he first set to examining me with the stethoscope upon my chest he saw how skittish I was. I did not want to be touched, fondled or exposed in any way. As though calming a nervous horse he simply waited until I was calm. He kept his eyes to the floor, as if aware I felt the gaze of men such as him discomforting.

“Your Grace, I am you