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CHAPTER 47

Take a pill, take a pill.

Swallow it down. Let it stick in your throat. Let it take you to where the snow chills your toes. Where the birds swoop low.

Take a drink, take a drink.

Let it burn on your tongue. Ignite a forest fire in your stomach. Let the embers dull your senses. Make you numb.

Take the needle.

Let your flesh devour it. Your veins consume it. Let it hold you under the surface. Drown out the noise.

Yes, drown it all out. Swallow it all and just drown .

It's better that way, she says.

She's right. And I hate her for it.

Deep in the darkness, I dreamt of her.

Maggie.

Her hair was ash-grey. Her face, once a canvas for someone who had been pretty in her youth, was like plaster dust, pale and flaking. Her body had been pushed inside the living room wall of our old council flat, until just her head and arms were still visible. She reached for me and as I watched, the print of the gaudy floral wallpaper cre
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