Zoya
Every word coming out of his mouth was hurting me and pinching me like hell. He couldn't do this and I would not let him. I gulped down and tried to cry, holding the knob tightly.
"It's not your heart that's asking me to leave. Is it? I know you can't live without me. The way I can't. Please don't hurt yourself for me", I pressed my forehead against the door and cried out again.
I had no explanation, no justification to give him for whatever I did. I was his culprit and all I could do was to plead to him.
"Please Abrar. I'm begging you. Talk to me once", I sobbed.
He was silent again and I kept ranting and crying. The next moment, my body slid down and I gathered myself against the door. I want to be closer to him as much as possible. That was the only distance that made me feel he was there.
"Don't cry", his words came harsh but filled with concern and love. While whimpering I couldn't help smiling and brushing off the tears.
"I
AbrarWhy was she always trying to hurt me? First betraying me, then doing something I could never tolerate. She cried a lot. It literally forced me to go to her and console her in my arms. She knew that I couldn't tolerate this. Still, she was hurting me more with her tears.Each word that came out of her mouth, pierced my heart. The confession I wanted was no more special to me.Yes, my heartbeat fastened when she confessed her love for me. But she cried like this on the streets that night. I trusted her, she looked real. When she said that fake story, she seemed to be real.She was such a good actor which haunted me.Should I trust her again?Could I?Did she really love me or did she only want her truth to be safe again?My love for her still existed and would always exist, but my trust in her—I couldn't trust her anymore.I was sitting beside the bed on the floor, my head pinned on the bed as I stared
ZoyaMy eyes ached when I opened them and rolled them around. My breathing got faster when I found myself in the room. I clearly remembered that I was outside. It meant he brought me here?My lips curved into a smile, though the agony was still killing me. My back, my stomach, my hands, and legs, whole body ached as I tried to get up and look at the couch to find him.He was not there.My eyes drifted to the clock. It was still too early. He didn't wake up so early. I jumped off the bed and walked out of the room.My legs stopped near the table when I spotted him sleeping in the living room. He slept here, leaving me inside. He still maintained the distance I didn't want anymore. I felt happy when I woke up, but now sadness surrounded me again."Stop being selfish again, Zoya", I screamed at myself. "It's not about you now. It's about him. Stop victimizing yourself"I pushed my legs to walk near the couch where he was fa
Abrar"Abrar, have you lost it? I don't think you're in your senses", dadi was continuously screaming at me when I was stuffing my mouth with dry bread, sitting at the dining table.I was swallowing them in a rage as if I was gulping down the agony."I'm talking to you", dadi yelled again from the living room.Zoya had been packing her stuff in the room. It had been more than twenty minutes. It never took her so long to pack stuff. She might be trying to make a delay. Or she was hoping for me to change the decision.I could not."Okay, she might be at a fault. But this is not the way to solve issues", she said again.But I didn't want to solve that.Issues could be solved.Not conspiracy.I wished I could say that to dadi.I wished I never loved her. I wished she were not a girl.I would easily tell the truth to everyone. But her dignity meant a lot to me."I want some time. Mayb
Zoya It took me a while to absorb the fact that I had to leave him. We had to part ways. But as far as I knew it was going to hurt, I also knew that I would never let my first love go so easily. I believed he would forgive me, he would realize my love for him, he would give me another chance. And that was the only thing which handled me. I had the hope. I came out of the room with my bag and didn't find him. Dadi was standing near the table. She looked devastated. "Dadi!", I tried to smile. "It's your home. He can't just force you to leave. Don't give in", she said in a harsh voice. I wanted to tell her everything that I didn't have any rights on this home and anything that belonged to him. I wanted to confess what I had done and he was not at fault. But his anger-filled words didn't let me do it. I already offended him enough and he would lose it if I told my truth to anyone. He was making me fall in love with him, even more,
Zoya"Will you please speak up? Your silence is giving me panic attacks, Zoya", ammi kept yelling when I was sitting on the couch, darting my eyes on the ceiling. I was in no mood to talk about anything but it was literally a disorder of Indian moms to panic when they see their married daughter with luggage!Well, not because of the luggage.But when they also see the silence and calmness."Can't I come to my home, ammi?", I gasped, closing my eyes. "What's wrong?""You can. You definitely can. And you can stay for months and years! But definitely not in this condition. What happened last night? Will you tell me? Why did you and Abrar leave the party abruptly?"No doubt I had inherited the qualities of my mother. I wanted some time to speak up but she was not giving me the damn space which I was not giving to Abrar either."Ammi, I need some rest", I pulled myself from the couch. My head was still aching because of the continuous cryi
ZoyaAfter taking a bath, I came in front of the mirror and looked at myself, finding another woman hidden behind the grief.We usually fall in love with unexpected people at an unexpected time.I thought this was a myth. Humans can have control over their emotions. They can decide whom they want to love.I was wrong.If I hadn't loved him, it didn't hurt so much.I would feel guilty, but I would never be heartbroken.I tried to apply some talcum powder to look better and combed my hair. It took me back to the memories where Abrar used to stare at me. I knew he was looking at me, still, I pretended not to know. The feeling was magical. My eyes drifted to the phone.I took it and checked it with limited expectations.Nothing.It worried me more than it hurt me and I hoped he
AbrarHer words forced me to get up. No matter how badly I wanted Zoya in my life, she was now like a drug to me. I didn't want her, but I fucking wanted her. She did nothing but destroy me, still, I couldn't get over her. I wished someone had ever told me how it felt to get betrayed by the person we trusted the most. At least, I would be ready. Ammi had taught me everything, except taking betrayal. She would do it if she had more time with me to deliver this. I took a glance at the sky. And a voice came from inside, "I wish you were here today""Abrar!", dadi's voice broke my muse again."I'm coming, dadi", I said and left the swing, turning towards the door."If your mother was here today, she would tell you how to tackle relationships", dadi scoffed from behind.Betrayal breaks relationships. If there's no relationship, there's no need to tackle it.I said nothing and walked out of the terrace.ZoyaI stared at the food, hun
Zoya"Zoya!", dadi beamed from another side, her voice filled with happiness."Dadi, ssshhh", I shushed her so that she didn't talk aloud with me. I didn't want Abrar to know that I had called her."What happened?", she whispered."I don't want Abrar to hear us, please", I said.I heard dadi sighing."Okay", she agreed. "He is at the table and I'm standing near the couch. He can't hear us""Table? He's eating?", a smile curved on my face."After a lot of debate, I could finally bring him to the table. He's trying to eat", she said. I was glad that he had his grandparents. I couldn't imagine the consequences if he would be alone after this."How are you?", dadi scoffed. "I know you are still devastated"I couldn't reply and only gulp down, trying to find an answer."I'm trying to—", I paused."Don't worry. I'm here, no? I'll talk to him", she said."No, dadi. Let me handle thi