15.     The Fall

Emre turned over my hand lying on the sand beside him and held it in his.

I couldn’t pull away from him anymore.

That was my problem, I’d never been able to pull away from him, not before..

And not now.

I sighed and looked at his face in profile, looking out to sea.

There had been so many times when I’d yearned to look at him, feel him beside me.

I’d wanted him so badly I still had dreams where I sometimes fell into the past again and got up again to an empty bed.

There had been days when I hadn’t thought of him, nights when I’d fallen asleep peacefully but then suddenly out of the blue something would remind me of him again, a food, a song, a thought and I’d be back to square one, crying in my bedroom muffling the sounds with a pillow and masking my forlorn face with makeup in the morning.

I looked away, unable to face the present and the past melding into one.

“Emre&helli