Simula

Simula

Ang Eskandalo

Karma. A really bad karma. Or is it just what I thought?

I guess, anyone who could enter my thoughts would probably wonder why being in a place where I cannot see any hint of progress just as the States...is being... unlucky; being in a big trouble for me.

Yes. There is progress here. Yet, it is still far from the great lands of America.

O siguro nga, tama naman ang sinabi ni Natacia. I am a stupid, careless, heartless brat who's only smart in class.

One sip of whiskey from the glass I've been holding lately then I let out a heavy sigh. Tiningnan ko ang bote nito na nasa kaliwang kamay at ngumisi. I am smart, indeed. Not only in class, but also in sneaking alcoholic drinks.

"Dad is really not kidding..." Nakangisi ngunit may bahid ng inis na sabi ko habang ang tanaw ay nasa gitna ng dagat. 

Pagod ako sa biyahe ngunit hindi ko na iyon pa pinapansin. Hindi ko na iyon pa masyadong ramdam. Last week was just my legality and I already fucked things up. I wanted to scream badly but I am trying to control my temper. Hindi sa kalagitnaan ng gabi. That asshole ruined my life.

"Are you sure this isn't some kind of prank?" Starting to suspect that my bestfriend would do something stupid, I asked.

She only giggled. Medyo nainis ako roon pero nagtanong muli ako. Kanina pa ako naka-blindfold at kanina pa rin ang panghahatak niya sa akin habang naglalakad. Mula sa paglabas pa lang ng bahay hanggang sa ilang minutong biyahe ay puro kadiliman lang ang makikita ko.

"Edith, you better tell me or else—where in the darkness are we?"

"Shutup, babe. You wanna enjoy, aren't you? Don't start this by ruining my name!" Madramang sagot nito na ikinatawa ko habang wala pa ring nakikita maliban sa dilim.

Just strange. Walang ni isang ingay maliban sa tunog ng mga takong ng suot naming mga heels. The silence is giving me creeps plus the completely black vision but I trust her.

"Fine. Are we going in halo or heaven? Huh, Mary?" Tukso ko pa.

Natigil siya sa kahihila sa akin at bumitaw sa mahigpit na pagkakahawak sa palapulsuhan ko. I can now picture her making a face in front of me with hands on her waists.

"Seriously? Do you really wanna make your bestie a virgin? Ain't gonna happen anymore, hun. So shut the f-up and let's get you on the wild."

I chuckled and shook my head. As if she not already dragging me like a wild animal.

I am already coming off to ideas of what kind of surprise this will be. If this is some kind of set-up date with someone... I'm pretty sure she won't. A guy is not a good birthday present for me.

Nagpatuloy siya sa paghila sa akin hanggang sa lumiit na ang mga hakbang na ginagawa namin. I guess, we'll be stopping soon.

"No Filipino-style debut for you!" Humahalinghing na aniya nang tumigil na kami.

Agad niyang inalis ang blindfold sa mata ko. Saglit kong nakita ang dilim ulit ngunit sunod na umilaw ang paligid. Sinundan ito ng malakas na hiyawan at sigawan.

"WELCOME TO THE WILDERNESS, LATTI! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Among many of them, Drake stood out as he was in the center with a bouquet of roses in his arms. It wasn't because of his looks. He may be a catch to other women but not to me. He is attractive, yes. But I am tired of him being full of himself.

Iwinaksi ko ang kaunting inis na unti-unting naiipon kay Drake. I felt warmth in my chest. My mouth was parted open with my eyes dilated upon the lighting of the lights.

My first time on a club. The first time I don't have to fake my age. Finally!

"Oh...my..." I only managed to whisper in surprise. I immediately turned to Meridith who is now running fast in small steps to join the group.

"Surprise!" She exclaimed, chuckling.

"Wow!" I made a fast "wow", not believing she could afford to spend a lot in this surprise.

Noon, nadadaanan ko lang ang sikat na club na ito. I'm not particularly dreaming of entering this club. Any good club would do, but this— is just amazing! I am not even familiar with many people here because I am not really that friendly.

Sino-sino naman kaya ang nag-imbita sa kanila dito? I bet, Meridith sacrificed her allowance to afford buying this club fot a night.

"Hey..." Aldrake smiled from ear to ear revealing his perfect white teeth. Hindi ko namalayan na nakalapit na pala siya.

"Uh...Thank you," I smiled as I receive the flowers.

"Happy birthday..." He softly whispered with his deep voice. Well, no one could deny that his soft manly features suits his baritone voice.

Unti-unti niyang inilapit ang mukha sa akin at dinampian ng malambot na halik ang gilid ng labi ko.

"I love you," he added.

It felt like an electricity rushing to conquer my skin. The hairs on my skin seems to get stiff upon hearing those words. Nakakarindi pakinggan. Hearing those three sacred words from a person like him disgusts me.

I took a step backward. Hindi ko pinapahalata ang pagka-irita. I have no intention to ruin my day. I didn't forced myself to feel this way. Pero bakit pakiramdam ko, masama ang mag-isip at damdamin ang ganitong damdamin sa araw na ito? I just felt violated but it feels like it's wrong to feel this way today.

"You're...so sweet, Drake..." I forced myself to make a smile without having an eye contact with him.

I immediately rushed my eyes to look for Meridith who suddenly disappeared beside me. Imbes na siya ang balak puntahan, nakita ko si Natacia. Kaagad itong kumaway sa akin habang malapad ang ngiti. Ngunit, bago ako lumayo kay Drake, ngumiti muna ako sa kanya. Just to make sure he won't think that I'm distancing from him.

I saw him smiled half-heartedly. His jaw clenched a bit and his eyes tells everything. He's not happy. Well... it's his issues.

"That asshole..." I threw the empty glass, frustrated. It shattered on the ceramic floor of the terrace and made a loud crash.

Nilaklak ko diretso ang alak sa bote nito kasabay ng pagnginig ng mga mata ko, pumipigil ng luha. My hands are trembling when thinking of the moment I felt destroyed. Hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa bote. I might wake somebody up if the bottle falls. A glass is enough.

Sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa tuwing sumagi sa isipan ko ang nangyari sa araw ng kaarawan ko. That day was supposed to be unforgettable because my legality I've been waiting for have arrived. But it was all ruined  in a sprinkle of drug and flash of a camera.

Malayo akong napatingin sa kadagatan. Malalim na ang gabi. The moon was hiding and so the darkness was scattered. The ocean is dark yet it was calm. I wish I could be this calm despite of the darkness.

Tanging ilaw lang na makikita sa dagat ay ang malayong mga bangka. Tila nga mumuntig puting alitaptap na naglilinyahan sa gitna. Maya-maya pa, mayroong kulay pulang laser mula sa isa sa mga umiilaw na bangka ang umilaw. Umiilaw at namamatay. It feels like it is signalling for something.

"How could I get used to this place...it just reminds me of how dark my life is at this moment."

I drank the whiskey again from the bottle. I closed my eyes as I feel the burning sensation in my throat going down my stomach. It feels strangely great to get drowned...

At this phase, I know my life would never be the same again.