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188. Countdown – Part 2

~ NATALIE ~

I hated myself, hated myself, for the fickleness of my heart. For all the ways I feared and doubted, and dragged other wolves down with me.

I knew it about myself and if there was anything I could change, that would be it.

It was a fierce irony to me that everyone liked to talk about how strong I was, when I knew the truth was that I wasn’t strong at all. I was stubborn as fuck, and prideful—some might say narcissistic, but I didn’t think that was it.

The truth was, I was so scared most of the time, I was ready to fight even when I shouldn’t. I created conflict because I was terrified of being surprised by it. And other wolves saw that as strength.

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