“And you kissed me?!” my question sounds like a statement, and he smiles at me, something flashing in the back of his eyes, a memory that made his green orbs radiate with happiness and satisfaction.“And I felt like the king of the world while doing so!” he says while placing his hand on the side of my jaw, it is warm and I can’t help but lean into the inviting touch, his thumb finds its way to my lips, he first brushes the corner, so slowly and torturously, the small contact makes my whole body reacts strangely, for I feel so relaxed as if my body is immersed in warmth and softness, his thumb moves but the feeling of his touch lingers behind for several seconds, giving me all kinds of mixed signs, a rich sensation that is meant to last even after it ends.he trails his thumb over my lower lip, very slowly and torturously, and when it brushes over the line where lips meet, I part them, opening my mouth to him, as if under a lust spell, once I feel his thumb pressed on the bords of my l
A price?A...I can’t even say the word again, my mind is suddenly blank, unable to think, to process, to understand!What does he mean by that?!!“I understand your reaction.” He says with sympathetic eyes, his lips pulled into the kindest smile, and something insides me tells me he truly understands everything I am feeling without me saying it.This man! he is really something else, the things he says feel like the harshest slaps but his gestures, his touches, and the look in his beautiful eyes feel like the soothing caresses on the sore skin.“I…” my words are stuck in my throat, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, I feel anxiety building up, ready to take over, so I try to calm myself down.It is all in the past, Natalia, you are okay! You are safe now!Don’t lose it at the man’s house!“I am not that kind of woman!” my voice is small, I know, but at least I manage to get the words out, to me that is an accomplishment, especially with the way I am feeling right now!“I know, Sw
It is a turmoil of feelings inside me, and I am afraid that the moment he releases me from the safety of his embrace, all these feelings would come rushing towards me, each wanting a piece of my sanity, each with a list of questions that I have no answer for!And therefore, I don’t let go, at least for a while!We spend a good amount of time in that position, hugging each other in silence, my head pressed against his chest, my tears stopped at one point but I still decide not to let go, instead, I stay like this, for few more minutes, listening to that beating heart of his, enjoying the warmth radiated from his body.“Natalia?” he asks with a sw
‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’ I hear my little devil whisper and I wish that for once I can slap the little fucker!I am already in a huge dilemma and I don’t need him making things even harder!However, I can’t deny the fact that I am having the same doubts, I mean, Nate’s story just seems a little, odd!“I know it is hard to believe, Natalia, but I swear it is the truth!” he says this with his mouth but not with his eyes, and therefore, my heart can’t believe him, not fully at least, I feel that there are some missing parts in his story, ones that he is deliberately ignoring and leaving behind.
Come on, Natalia, one step at the time, and then one bite at the time, and you would be done with it! I tell myself reassuringly while looking at the room for one last time.That spooky uncomfortable feeling is no longer there, I feel pretty normal about the room itself, the previous discomfort is gone but a new one settles in, the fact that I didn’t remember anything!I was hoping that I would be having one of those flashbacks but nothing happened, all I got from this visit was Nate’s not so convincing side of the story, a heartbreak that I am going to cry out of my system later, and a lot of hugs and caresses which I know I would blame myself for once my head hits the pillow.
“I did not say anything, plus nothing really happened!” I offer him a reassuring smile, as we descend the stairs, unable to get rid of the feeling I had in that room while watching him and his father!A part of me is envious, the other part is warmed, I feel as if the three of us share a very unique relationship, like a family, and that side I saw of him in front of his father, the genuinely good and pure man who values his family and loved ones, the vulnerable son who is afraid of losing his father just makes me question everything I have learned about him in his bedroom.Why can’t I make up my mind about this man! Why can’t he be just bad or just good, why does he have to be both, so soft yet so edgy!
“What the fuck?!”“Get your hands off her!”“What is this?!”I jolt up once I hear the denounced snarls, I gasp at how painful my heart thundered in my chest, my hands move quickly to cover my bare breasts, the previous haziness I was feeling a second earlier is nowhere to be found!It is all gone, the boldness, the heat, the lust, the tipsiness, the sexiness, all of it is gone and instead, a horrible mixture of fear, exposure, shame, and embarrassment fills me up!
The ride is awkwardly silent, I don’t even know where we are heading, Maisie is driving, Emma is sitting next to her on the passenger’s seat while I am sitting in the back, I guess they have decided to give me some time to calm down before facing me, it is already night, and the car is dark as well as being silent.The perfect atmosphere for me to contemplate the things I have done, the things I have learned, and the things I am going to tell my friends.I feel dizzy and nauseous, but mostly disgusted with myself and the way I have acted, our sinful, lustful deeds, which felt so good and satisfying before, taste like bile now, one that is not only bitter but heavy!