Committed or Not
LoraineI drove Aziel to the airport and we are now saying goodbye.After today I am on my own, Aziel remains in my life but at a distance. He now removes his luggage from the trunk and puts it upright so that he can roll in with it.“Aziel, don't forget me when you get back,” I urge him as I cling to his body. I've been worried for days about what it'll be like when he's gone. He wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. “Not a chance. I'll be back before you know it. You know I can never live without you for long.” We give each other one last deep kiss, he grabs his bags and walks away without looking back to the check-in counter.These two weeks with Aziel were wonderful.He distracted me from the confrontation with Elena, made sure that I didn't have time to look on social media to see what has been published from that moment. I know nothing good will be reported about me, Elena will take care of that.I drive home quietly, enjoying thA Perfect Gentleman Saint Lucia is the bomb! Although the beach hardly differs from that of Barbados, the group that uses it is less diverse. We meet people from all kinds of countries that we had never heard of. The Surinamese are the most festive of all, they go wild with every style of music, seem to master all dance moves. Their accent also makes us laugh more often, but that doesn't stop them from mingling with us. In the late afternoon, we visit the twin volcanoes. Michelle and I decide to take a Sulphur bath that, according to local guides, should make us look at least twenty years younger. Rick bursts out laughing, teasing Michelle that he's not a pedophile, and when she comes out of the tub as a four-year-old, he’ll dump her in an orphanage on the island. When we are in the Sulphur waterfall, I show Aziel in a video call how much fun we are having. He l
He’s BackDale takes me on a joyride through the empty streets of Barbados. The cool ocean wind flows through my hair. I actually like this island life, there is no stress here and I easily make friends here. Saint Lucia is again another good experience after Barbados. “Hmmmm, Loraine, tell me. Are you in love? You seem like a bon vivant who doesn't care about anything”, the Adonis next to me asks with a smile on his face. I relax and look at him from the side. He still looks straight ahead at the road, waiting for my answer.“No, I just painfully got out of a great relationship and am healing from my heartache,” I respond. “I do have a partner who helps me with that”. Dale nods and accelerates a little more. “How long have you been in Barbados, are you here to stay? Your accent betrays that you are also a New Yorker and your demeanor that you arrived here not too long ago.”His questions make me a little tense.I don't want to flaunt my past, but it seems like every
Please Move OnWith the arrival of Aziel, a balance has arisen in our circle of friends.We extended our stay in Saint Lucia for another two days and I have to say that I have never had so much fun before. Aziel made me see a different side of him, he is so much fun and personable. And although I keep seeing ladies flirting with him when I'm at a distance, he always made it clear to everyone that I belong with him. His hand is constantly stroking my back or intertwined with mine. I know he longs for me and now that I've already lost my virginity, he won't settle for superficial sex anymore. But I'm not ready yet to be intimate with another man in that way after Dordrich.Today we returned from Saint Lucia and I must say that I am dead tired of all the wild things we did there. I've had the time of my life and now I'm back to basics. Aziel will return to New York this evening as well. He too looks tired after all that nighttime life.But I want to discuss some busines
Go Nowhere!After I wave goodbye to Aziel at the airport, I return home. All the way I think about his words. So Dordrich wants to meet me again. But doesn't he realize that our relationship is only going to get more complicated now that Elena finds out? She's going to keep stalking us and having tantrums. We are constantly going to be negative in the news and that will have an impact on our companies at some point.Elena knows what she's doing, and I can't blame her. She also thinks about her two children and doesn't want to risk Dordrich leaving one day. Dordrich and I have been guided by our strong love and hot desire for each other, forgetting everything and everyone who depended on us. Now that I am outside the relationship and far from my familiar surroundings, I can look back on our relationship soberly.What I want to prevent is that everyone thinks that I ran out of options and that is why I have reached for Aziel. People in my immediate circle know that Aziel
Don't You WorryAziel is angry, but I can tell from his voice that he is so worried. I know him too well, he can't hide his emotions from me. “Aziel, I won't meet him if you don't want me to. I'm discussing this with you because we have an appointment. And I keep that promise”, I reassure him. “I didn't speak to him, just read some text messages”.I hear him breathe a sigh of relief. He was really afraid, I think. I promise myself not to turn on the phone again, Dordrich is really a thing of the past and I don't want to disrupt my relationship with Aziel. Over the next few days, I will do my best to reassure him by calling him more often and telling him about my daily activities. Aziel is a friend in a million, when I needed him the most, he was there for me. And now he's running my business too so I don't have to incur huge losses.And he's right, continuing with Dordrich will be my final blow. The rest of the evening I spend watch
AbusedFrom that day on, Andre and I are inseparable. Fortunately, the acquaintance with Aziel went well, just as I thought he found it quite amusing that we had fun with the gossips in this way. Aziel teased that he can now do his job in New York with peace of mind because he was already worried that I would end up in the arms of a handsome guy again.You can find me in the yacht club almost every day.Andre found me a job, I need to advise him on new attractions he can offer to bring more guests to the yacht club. Current offerings should also be expanded in such a way as to increase the company's revenue. Not that the yacht club is in financial trouble, but Andre wants to stay ahead of any competition. When he asked me about my background, I froze. I just let him know that I was the manager of a big software company and doing some ambitious projects. That's actually not a lie, just half information, I console myself.The regulars of the yacht club are alre
Not MeAndreI can't imagine Dale going that low.Coming to my yacht club with his new partner is quite insensitive and characterless. I suspect he wants to take revenge after I ended our relationship some months ago, abruptly and refused all his calls after that. We had quite some trust issues, he made me feel so insecure with his behavior. It seemed like he housed two personalities in one body.When we were alone, he was the perfect partner. Romantic and physical, always made me feel good in his company. I remember how we experimented in the kitchen and later forced each other to eat our failed recipes. The many nighttime walks in which we entrusted each other's secrets, shared hidden desires and had such a good time together. Our vacations in the jungle of Suriname, his homeland, swimming in the dark water of the waterfalls, the breathtaking boat trips and wild dance evenings in the different Maroon villages. Dale did everything to keep our relationshi
He's Mad“Andre, don't let this just pass you by. Just give him a taste of his own medicine. I can clearly notice that seeing him again hurts you, I'm pretty sure that's exactly his intention," Loraine remarked. “Hit back, hard and only then will you see how that works out. These abusers often cannot handle the pain they inflict on others.”“What exactly do you mean? I don't want to see this man around me, I can't stand him." It comes from the bottom of my heart. Again, Dale is a thing of the past, I can't say it enough. “The problem you have is that you can't control it. He's going to keep appearing in front of you, pestering you until you explode," Loraine insists. “Prove him wrong. You and I, in love and we will also sit on the terrace. We are deeply happy together and having a good time. If he can mess with women and pretend to be fake gay, so can you.”Hmmmm, she has a point. I showed my hurt and Dale is probably having f