Afraid

"Bilisan nyo dyan ah baka may gawin pa kayong kababalaghan." Pang-aasar ni Sam, vice-captain ng Silver Valley Volleyball Team, bago pa man iwanan si Karl at Andrew na nagpapalit pa ng damit sa club room.

Nagkatinginan naman ang dalawa with a silent conversation of Si vice-captain talaga kahit kailan.

"Karl." Tawag ni Andrew ng makalabas ang kanilang vice-captain sa club room.

"Hmm?" Busy naman si Karl sa pagpapalit ng kanyang pantalon.

“I’ve changed my mind.” Wika ni Andrew tsaka na humarap ito kay Karl. "Why don’t you live with me for real?"

Napalingon naman si Karl kay Andrew na nakatitig na sakanya.

"What’s with the change of heart? I asked you about it so many times before pero sabi mo ayaw mo." Sagot naman ni Karl tsaka na nagsuot ito ng pamalit na t-shirt.

Humarap naming muli si Andrew sa locker nya tsaka na nagpalit ng t-shirt. Matapos itong makapagpalit ay sinara nito ang locker nya. He then faces Karl again na nasa tabi lamang nito. "I just want to feel at ease. I’m having a bad feeling."

“Bakit?” pagtatanong naman ni Karl, “What’s wrong?” tsaka na sinara din nito ang locker nya.

“I… I don’t know.” Napabuntong-hininga naman si Andrew. He hates this feeling of anxiousness.

"Hindi kaya nadadala ka lang sa pang-aasar nila Nelson?" pagtatanong naman ni Karl.

Palagi kasing inaasar ang dalawa ng mga teammate nila. Para kasi silang linta sa isa’t isa, di mapaghiwalay. Kung nasaan si Karl, andoon lagi si Andrew. Kaya inaasar sila palagi na mag live-in na lang.

Umiling-iling naman si Andrew tsaka na hinawakan ang dulo ng tshirt ni Karl. "No Karl. I… I’m really having a bad feeling. I don’t know why but I just couldn’t help not to worry. I just really want you to stay with me. I don’t want to have a second not seeing you around… Please?"

A smile was formed from Karl’s lips. He knows that Andrew was just anxious but he couldn’t help but to think Andrew is too cute when he begs like this.

He pulled Andrew closer and hugs him tightly. "Alright Mr. Too Obsessed with me. You’ll see every bit of me in every seconds."

It was not hard for Karl to move to Andrew’s condo unit since it was not too far from the apartment he was settling in. At hindi na rin nya patatagalin pa na hindi lumipat doon dahil habang tumatakbo ang araw, lalo nyang napapansin na nagiging anxious si Andrew. He doesn’t want to lose that bright sunshine from his sun.

"What’s wrong?" Tanong ni Karl as he placed his arms around Andrew na nakaupo sa dulo ng higaan nila.

"Di ko alam kung pupunta ako." Sagot ni Andrew habang nakatitig sa kanyang phone.

Napatingin naman si Karl sa phone ni Andrew. He saw an open chat between Andrew and a person named, Brad.

“Brad? Is he your friend from high school?” pagtatanong ni Karl.

Napatango naman si Andrew. “He’s inviting me over to attend our teammate’s death anniversary.”

"Death Anniversary?" muling pagtatanong nito.

Napatango naman si Andrew. "I-It’s Ralph’s death anniversary." Andrew bitten his lower lip and paused for a second. "The last person before Emman who was killed by Allen. The one I talked to you about. His name was Ralph. He’s Emman’s bestfriend. Death Anniversary nya this coming Sunday."

"Don’t you want to go?" Napahawak naman ng mahigpit si Andrew sa phone nya sa tanong na iyon ni Karl.

"Never akong pumunta sa kahit anong death anniversary gatherings ng mga kaibigan ko. Even kay Emman. I... I..." Andrew then started to tremble.

Niyakap naman ng mahigpit ni Karl si Andrew. "What are you afraid of?"

"I-I can’t face them. Lev, Ralph... Emman. They all died because of me." At di na napigilan ni Andrew na maiyak sa mga braso ni Karl.

When Karl first heard about Allen, he thought that guy was a stupid jerk pero nung makwento na ni Andrew na may pinatay pa ito na dalawa nilang kaibigan bago pa si Emman, Karl was sure. Allen is a psychopath who’s too obsessed with Andrew.

Nakwento din sakanya nila Troy at Nelson na ka teammates din ni Andrew nung highschool na muntikan magpakamatay si Andrew noon ng mawala si Emman. He received a year of therapy and was given medications for anxiety and depression. Umiinom din ito ng gamot na nagpapakalma sakanya and he’s still drinking those meds up until now. Buti na nga lang daw at mayaman ang pamilya ni Andrew. Their family is kind of influential so Andrew can receive all the treatments he needed.

They told him na hindi pumupunta si Andrew sa lahat ng Death Anniversaries ng mga kaibigan nila and when he actually did one time for Emman’s 3rd death anniversary, nagkaroon ito ng episode of panic disorder.

"You don’t have to go. They will surely understand." Pag-a-assure ni Karl ditto.

"M-Maybe I can..." Tsaka na hinarap ni Andrew si Karl. "Will you go with me? I’m sure I’ll be fine kung kasama kita."

Karl brushes Andrew’s hair. "You don’t have to ask me. I’ll always stay with you."

*****

"Isn’t 5 years too long already?" A man with a black beard wearing eyeglasses and a suit and tie asked the young man in front of him.

"5 years is not enough for the crime I did." The young man replied.

The man with the eyeglasses nodded. "You are right. But everyone deserves chances and I believe you deserve one. You weren’t sent in the Juvenile for nothing."

The man with the eyeglasses stood up from his seat and looked closely to the papers he’s holding. "For the past 5 years, all I heard was good things from all the delinquents here. Even those doctors and police na nakabase dito, they were impressed by your records considering those crimes you did. They believe you can go out from the prison." Naglakad pa ito patungo sa may dingding at sumandal dito. "I can say that you’ll mostly have a 90% chance of released."

"Are you sure you are letting me out?" The young man asked with a smile plastered on his face.