Chapter 1

The pale woman lying on the bed was nothing like the woman who had raised her since she was two years old. The woman who was lying before her with her shallow breathing was nothing like the strong vibrant vivacious woman who had made sure that she had a home and a safe place where she would not be watching things that no child needs to watch.

“Mom, do you need some water?” asked Cara as she quickly blinked away the tears that were threatening to blind her vision.

“You know that I can see you crying. I can hear you sniffling at all the points of time when I am sleeping,” said the woman on the bed. This woman’s name was Matilda Walsh and she was suffering from stage four lungs cancer which was the reason talking was so difficult for her.

“You are not to take much pressure at all. You do realise that, right?” asked Cara as she wiped her face and then said,” I know that you have to speak a lot so I have made sure that you can talk to me. I have given you something to calm you down and you can talk to me.”

“You should have given me some damn morphine!”  said Matilda as she groaned and Cara said,” You know that there is a limit Mom and I want you to be free of pain but that doesn’t mean that I want you to be over. You cannot do that to me Mom!”

“It is time for me to leave, baby girl. It has been some time for me already. But you know that already don’t you? Right now whatever I have to say is very important and you have to listen to it with and exceptionally open mind. Can you do that for me?”

“Why are you speaking like this Mom? You have a lot of time left and I'm going to make sure that you are comfortable during that entire time. Please don't talk like this. You know that I'm not ready to let you go….”

“No one is. No one is ready to move on. No one is ready to let go of the people that they love most. Do you think that I am ready to go? But that is not how life goes on is it? You my child are an exceptional woman and I am proud to call you my daughter. But that doesn't mean that you cannot be alone. I'm already leaving on borrowed time. It is high time for me to go in peace. But there is something that you need to know before that happens. I could have done this long time ago but I wasn't brave enough. And I had made my promise to people who had made sure that I could have a better life. but you need to know.”

“What are you saying Mom? I don't understand anything at all.”

“Whenever someone dies they make a will, they put back keepsakes for their children. They make sure that their properties are going to come to you. And I have already made those provisions. But there is something more that you need to know. You can consider this to be my last wish.”

Cara had been holding herself back with a lot of difficulty but now when her mother said this last sentence she could not hold herself back any longer and she broke down. Cara sobbed out so loud that she knew that someone was going to knock on their door and ask what was the matter. But she could not be quiet.

“baby girl…you have to listen to me. Will you listen to me?” Matilda asked in a hoarse whisper and Cara immediately stopped crying and said,” Of course Mom. I will listen to anything you have to say.”

“There are somethings that people want to take to their grave. I wish that I could take this one as well. I never wanted to bold in you with this responsibility. But I don't have the time or the energy or even the strength to do something bye myself. If it was possible then I would have done this by my own but since it is not I want you to do something for me.”

“What is it Mom?”

“I need you to send a letter that I have written.”

Cara raised her brow at that particular statement. “This is not something that you couldn't have done Mom. you could have easily sent a letter. Or you could have sealed the envelope and I could have sent a letter. What is the big deal about sending a letter?”

“The big deal about sending a letter is that you have to handover the letter in person to the man for whom this has been written.”

“Okay. Sounds a bit weird but I think that is doable as well.”

“He lives in Sicily.”

This time Cara did not restrain her shock at the statement that her mother had said. “What on earth do you want to do with a man residing in Sicily? And that too sending a letter by hand in person?”

“Because he is my son. Because I gave birth to him 29 years earlier. And 6 months after he was born I left him with his parents and I have not had any contact with him or with his parents since then. They sent me cards and flowers or even sometimes small gifts which you know that I place in our home very carefully. but I never returned back the favour because I made them a promise that I was never going to tell him anything until I was dead.”

“And now that you are dying you want me to go and give him a letter?” asked Cara. Her voice was hard. She could not even begin to say what was going on in her mind and Matilda smiled at her and said,” I know that you are angry with me, baby girl. But don’t be. If I could take back what happened I would have done that long back. But I can’t and I am glad now that I did not.”

“Angry does not even begin to describe what I am feeling right now,” Cara said that as a tear slipped from her eyes.

“You have every single right to be angry with me. I know that. And I am not even saying that it was my life and you should have let me live it the way that I wanted. This was something that I could not help anything with, darling.”

“You wanted him to be born, isn’t it?” asked Cara.

“Oh yes, I did. I really wanted him to be born. But his father was not in the picture any longer and at seventeen I could not take the responsibility of a baby and work as a maid and…” Matilda could not speak any longer and she was having trouble breathing and had a violent bout of coughing and Cara patiently waited for it to subside. Finally when she was done, Matilda said,” I did not want him to be…I wanted him to have…”

“I understand, Mom. You don’t need to explain or clarify yourself to me at all. It is fine. I am going to do whatever you need me to do.”