When I recovered from my little breakdown, I went into Simon's room. He was sitting on the bed, watching Asia's Next Top Model.
"I worry about you," I murmured.
"Yeah, well, same to you. You've been crying."
"No I haven't," I lied. He saw right through it.
"Sophie, Jackson shouldn't have said that."
"You know what pisses me off even more? He doesn't deserve Brenda. He treats her like his little bitch and I hate it. He knows that she won't leave him and so he just pushes her to see how far she'll go, and then he comes crawling back to her. That's not fair."
"I know, babe."
"I'm going to go talk to him about this. I don't want things to be awkward. You okay with that?"
He nodded, kissing me quickly. "Yeah. Let me know if you want me to beat his ass."
I blew my hair dry after the shower, so it wouldn't look suspicious when Simon's mom came home. I'd just gotten off of her bad side, and I didn't want to give her any new reason to dislike me. We were sitting on Simon's bed watching TV when she opened the door."Hey guys," she said. "Sorry to interrupt. Simon, do you know what's wrong with your brother?""He's just going through one of his little mood-swings, I'm sure. Why?""His bedroom door is locked, and he won't let me in. I can smell cigarette smoke, and your father's last two beers are gone. Which is not going to make him happy, by the way.""That's unlikely him," Simon said. "He's an ass to me all of the time, but he's never an ass to you.""I'm worried," she murmured. "He's been so unstable. Maybe he needs to go back to the doctor. Have you noticed his moods, S
When she'd recovered enough to sit up, I brought her a cup of water."I'm sorry… I know it's Christmas Eve and your family probably doesn't appreciate my being here—""We're not real big on the togetherness thing. They're at a party with their friends.""I just feel like this is the only place I could really go… you're the most real person I know, Sophie. You're not like my other friends, they're all so… superficial. If I told them… of course they'd feel sorry for me… but it'd be all of school as soon as we got off break."I nodded in understanding. "Do you want to tell me exactly what happened?""I went to Scott's, he was having a small party. I didn't come with Jackson, because I didn't think he'd want to go. You know how reclusive he's been lately." She drew in a deep breath.
A tiny, stupid part of me wondered if I was the person that he was referring to. I wanted to reach out to him, to make him feel better…but I couldn't. The strong side of me decided he didn't deserve my comfort. So I let him sit there on the sofa, alone in his misery. Finally, after about five minutes of awkward silence, Jackson spoke again."What can I do Sophie? What can I do to make you forgive me?""It shouldn't be my forgiveness you want.""But it is. Brenda will never be okay with what I did, and I accept that. Maybe we'll be friends again, but never like we were… I need you to tell me we're okay…" He gave me a pleading look. "Sophie, you're the only one that matters anymore."I felt like I was going to throw up. I was the only one that mattered!? I couldn't deal with that type of pressure!"I
The minute I set foot outside, I shivered. It was freezing. Jackson put a protective arm around me and we walked towards his car in comfortable silence. We stood at the drivers side, just kinda staring at each other."Goodnight," I said finally.He pulled me to him and kissed me roughly. He tasted of cigarettes and alcohol and peppermint gum. When the kiss ended, he held me for a while."I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered, his voice tight with emotion.I hugged him as hard as I could. "Shh…" I kissed his cheek. "Go home and get some sleep. Good night, Jackson."He nuzzled my neck and got into the car. "Take good care of Brenda.""I will," I promised.I came back inside and went up to my room. Brenda was sitting on the bed, watching TV."
I fiddled with the bow, looking up at him from under my lashes."What is it?" I asked.He smiled slightly. "Find out."I opened it gingerly, trying not to do too much damage to the Frosty the Snowman wrapping paper. I took the top off the box and saw just what I was afraid of. A ring."Shit, Jackson!"He looked startled. "Well… that's not the reaction that I was hoping for…""Look… I didn't mean for it to come out that way…" I groaned. "It's just… you know I can't wear this! Simon will freak!""I don't want you to wear it," he murmured. "I just want you to have it.""Well what's the point in that? Please tell me that isn't a real ruby!""It is," he said softly. "Cupcake, I want you have it beca
The next time I saw Jackson and Simon was on New Year's Eve. I talked on the phone with Jackson every night, but we both felt like we needed some time apart to get our heads on straight. I didn't think to take off my ring when Simon came to pick me up. It was the first thing he mentioned. Damn him for being selectively observant. He never noticed when I got a haircut, but if I had a new piece of jewelry on then it was a big deal."Where did that ring come from? Looks pricey.""Mom and Dad got it for me. They said they felt like they needed to get me something nice since they left me alone all Christmas day." The lie came easily, and it was pretty believable. My folks were always trying to make up for their lack of parenting skills with extraordinary gifts and he knew it."I hate how they think that pretty things can fix all their mistakes," he growled. "Although that really i
We went inside after he finished his smoke. He shut off the TV and we laid there in silence, our fingers laced together and our bodies pressed up against one another. I could feel his warm breath in my hair and I decided it was the most content I'd been in a long time."This is a hell of a way to spend New Years," I whispered."Thank you for being here. You should be out having fun."I chuckled. "Having fun never ends well for me. I'm always alone and miserable when all's said and done."He kissed my temple and held me against him. "Wake me up if I drift off," he murmured.I jerked awake at 11:10. Shit! Simon was probably home!"Simon?" I called.No answer. Jackson stirred and nuzzled my neck."Hmm?" He asked.
School started up again on January 3rd. I wasn't really looking forward to going back, but I was looking forward to see Jackson. It'd only been two days, but I missed him already. We'd decided it would be best to spend a couple days apart to think about the new position that we were in. For the first time since we'd met, I was single.I sat on the sofa waiting for Jackson to arrive. On the phone last night, he'd told me that he had something he wanted to discuss. I was hoping it was something good, and not something that would leave me feeling crappy all day. He pulled into the driveway at 7:35 and honked his horn.I hurried outside, and in my haste completely forgot about the ice that coated the sidewalk. This, of course, resulted in me falling flat on my ass. This wasn't the first time it'd happened, but it was the first time it'd happened in front of Jackson… and for the record, it was complete