Flashes... in front of my eyes, in my head, in my stomach... Spots, shots, sweet jolts... Her moist, swollen lips, light moans, a lingering look from under half-lowered eyelashes, a shudder running through her stomach... Her heart fills the room with a bell ringing. Lou is ready to sell his soul to the devil for the opportunity to be there, on the other side of the screen, next to her... He does not take his eyes off, catches every movement of her body... The pleasure grows, reaches some unreal, crazy peak. He never imagined that it could be like this...
He was embarrassed, not deftly undressing under her intent, studying gaze. All the ability to behave in front of the camera, all the experience of filming gave way to the modest eye of the webcam. He is skinny, it seems to him that from the whole body he has only elbows, knees and tattoos. How can she like it? But she says - beautifully, and asks to show everything, using a completely indecent word. Where did you hear it?! It's exciting, just wild! Lou feels the lube ooze out and flow like a goo.
And then she licks her fingers and starts to caress herself. And the embarrassment is gone. All that remains is the hot excitation in the chest, in the temples, in the groin - insane, ousting everything and everything from the head and heart. And oxygen from the room.
She bends, leans forward, bites her lips, sighs. She runs her fingers through her hair, strokes her juicy body. He asks to take her. Louis curses through his teeth and follows her, in her warm footsteps. Realizing that if she had been there, he would not have lasted five minutes.
She closes her eyes, trembles, arches, groans ... Calls him by name. Everything ... and he can no longer and does not want to hold back. Spasms of an orgasm — sharp to a morbidity, stormy... The smeared with hot trembling fingers. Lou's breathing is driven, in jerks, droplets of sweat crawl down his temples, fall on his sharp collarbones.
She reaches for the screen, licks her lips. Smiling. He asks to kiss her. He reaches for the webcam with his lips. It's hard to think of something more stupid and tender than this kiss. And then she turns off. Maybe by herself. Or maybe the Internet is just disconnecting.
“I love you…” Louis says in a hoarse voice into the closed video chat window. Strokes the screen. He presses the laptop to his chest. And then weaves into the bathroom on wobbly legs. Climbs under the warm jets of the soul. Legs do not hold and he slides down the wall. Water is flowing. He smiles stupidly. Happily. Thoughtlessly. To the ears.
And then he starts crying. Multi-coloured shoulders shudder with sobs. Tears are immediately washed away, but they flow again and again. This was spectacular. She's so damn far away. She's a cunning damn demon who took his whole soul out of him. He loves her to death.
Two days after this madness, she did not appear on the network. Louis was even glad, because he did not know how and what to say? He realized that he was gone, completely and irrevocably. This can not be canceled, not forgotten, not cured. Do not replace with anything else. Now he's either with Keith or... not at all. If she said no, he would rather die than continue this existence without her.
He painted a lot. Lots of. A bunch of sketches. Red, black, green. Oblong eyes and fluffy tails. And lines of their correspondence from Skype. A brand new design for his clothing line, something he has never done before. I drew and thought how to tell her these three simple words that can move mountains? How? He came up with hundreds of options and then he himself smashed them to smithereens, rejecting one after another. Everything sang inside him, as if someone was playing a good measured melody on the tightly stretched strings of the soul.
When it began to rain, Louis took Austin and went for a walk. The restless dog cut circles around him, tried to swim in the river, catch frogs. Louis smiled at his thoughts, enjoying submerging his face under the small warm drops. He decided to rent an apartment. The parents' house is large and comfortable, and his brother is nearby, but he suddenly urgently wanted something of his own, isolated ... Only for him and Kit. And Austin, of course.
- Hey Ginger :)
— Hey baby :) Ginger? Why?
“I mean, redhead, with red hair. It suits you so well. (Wow, I'm already a baby? Cool!)
— Ahhh! How are you?
Are you still asking? Super! You are just crazy. And so do I now.
- I'm glad
— Keith, tell me your address, please? And a phone number too...
- Why?
- Do not be afraid, not to hang around under your windows like a maniac, or get calls - call at night and sniff into the phone (although, for this too ...). I want to send you a present.
- I hope not a check for Internet sex services? %)))
- Damn it, Keith! Flowers!
- Kidding. I'm a little… how is that… indecent?
- Ashamed? Uncomfortable?
- Yes.
- Why?
- I didn't do that before.
- Me too. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful and seductive and desirable… damn… I wish it was real… Kitty kitty, come to me? (And I'll show you a tattoo in your honor ... Lily giggled for a long time before getting to work. What was to be done? There was almost no clean skin left on me).
— Fly to England for sex? Expensive pleasure. For me :)
- I can’t fly myself now ... I have a recording ... then the tour ... I will pay for the flight. Keith, I miss you, I want you… also lack of freedom, that one!)
- Get used to getting everything you want? Snap your fingers and I'm in your bed? I have my own life, work, music. I can't just drop everything either.
"Damn, don't say that... Keith, I love you... I'm crazy about you!" I don't need others, I need you! I don't notice other girls. Generally. There is only you. Happy. At night. At the studio. In car. When I eat, when I paint, when I sleep. You are in every second of my existence. (Well, that’s what he said… Like the last motherfucker, he typed it in the chat. Ugh…)
—Keith?
— …“Keith, just don’t be silent… And don’t try to disappear.”
— Do you love?
- I love.
“But you don't know me at all. I have a vile personality. And habits. And I eat meat. And I drink blood
“What the hell… God… Keith… What does it all matter?!
“Louis, you are wonderful… Really. Cute. Charming. Sexual. It's interesting with you, your music is magic. But all this together is very much like a fairy tale. There are no stories.
"Did someone hurt you, baby?" So you don't believe anymore? Don't want to believe? Or are you not free?
- Free. Already I'm just too big a girl.
“Give me at least a chance, Kitty.
A couple of hours later, Louis sent his overgrown girl a basket of tiger lilies of prey. And a certificate for the right to own a double blue star in a certain constellation. A star named after her. There are no stories? I beg of you…
Louis pressed his forehead against the cool glass. The bus trembled on the move and this vibration was given in the whole body. He just called Kit, but she didn't answer. Maybe on stage... or already sleeping... or just busy... But I really wanted to talk. Hear her voice. Their conversations, of course ... Lou says something in Russian, she laughs, corrects. In English, he has to build phrases as if he is communicating with a small child. And she doesn't understand half of it. And yet, wonderful. Without another dose of this dope, Louis missed.The guys were still awake, but no one was in Lou's room. Everyone was already aware of his great love and high suffering. And since he is sitting - eyebrows with a house, sadness in his eyes - the girl does not pick up his phone. And it's better not to joke about it. For some reason, Sparks' sense of humor at such moments completely leaves.Louis was more sad, then took a picture of his sour face and sent it to her. Let him see how bad he is wi
After finishing the autograph session, Louis decided that now he could relax, hide Kit's small hand in his and dump away from everyone. But it was not there. They didn't want to let them go. Especially after he finally took his beloved by the hand. Flashes, microphones under the nose:Is this your new girlfriend?- How did you meet?- How long have you been together?- What is her name?“Tell me, does Lou have a tattoo on his penis?” (this is Keith).She laughed in response, and then said:Yes, and not alone!And stuck out her middle finger at the aimed cameras.Louis admired the compliment and Kit's resourcefulness, quickly and almost politely kicked out stupid questions and whispered in her ear:- We're running. And they won't leave...Jeff, the clever one, took the fire, and they quietly crawled back, dived into some passage, turned another and another, crawled under some structures and ended up in a field behind the stage. Technicians, quarreling, slowly dismantled the equipment.
“Kitty is a kitten, we have to go…” Louis decided to say, touching her hair with his lips. They had several hours to sack this city, and the time was running out. Kit sighed, lifted her head, muttered something in Russian, and dropped it back. It could be “yes, of course”, “I don’t want to go anywhere” or “go to hell” - his choice. She was, of course, tired because of the night flight and the sex marathon they had arranged. Lou, too, would gladly send everything away and would not get out of this bed for another year. But - it is necessary. It is necessary, it is necessary, it is necessary ... Jeff already called, sarcastically wondering where the devils are.Lou kissed her again and stroked her back.“Baby, wake up… You’ll sleep on the bus, okay?”When Keith, in response to his question, for how many days she flew in, raised her fingers spread out, he squeaked like a youngster at the sight of Justin Bieber: “Will you go somnoyKit?!She nodded.Five days! For five whole days! Lou tho
There were six of them, these baubles-notches, on Louis' hand when she said she would leave him. And nine when he decided to get rid of them.After a few wonderful days together on the tour bus, Lou yearned for Kit to death. Lived from call to call, from sms to emoticons in Skype. The rest of the events were a foggy annoying background.As soon as he had free time, he immediately flew to her. Kitsune met him at the airport. Lou almost ate it on the way home in a taxi. The driver looked sideways in the rear-view mirror and grinned. He didn't give a fuck... he inhaled the scent of her body and shook with passion. They barely made it to her door. The shaggy red dog Kitty only barked in surprise and was immediately sent to the kitchen.The sex was fast, greedy, hard. Tenderness will be ... later ... but for now - to drink each other in one gulp, choking ... Kit scratched his back, the stripes from the nails burned. And bit her lip. Louis felt the coppery taste of blood in his mouth. And t
He cuts the lettuce. Drives a knife along the green elastic stems. No thoughts in my head, no sensations inside. Or does it just seem so? He's so drunk that he can't feel his fingertips. They were numb. What the hell is he cutting? Forgot. Probably it should be.Baubles Whale. Dangling on the wrist. One, two, three... Nine. He may not count. Knows exactly. He remembers how she tied - fastened each of them. He remembers every meeting from the first to the last second. There was another one, the tenth ... Instead of a bauble, he received something else. Instead of a commemorative notch - a fat dot. All. End. Finish. Apocalypse.He looks at them and realizes that he intensely hates these harmless trinkets. It's like notes from heaven, pages from the diary of happiness, which are pinned to your chest with hefty nails before they kick you in the ass. So that when you fry in a damn frying pan, you, bitch, do not forget for a second how happy you once were.That's right... gotta get rid of t
"Alive, you fucking bastard?" Fuck-I-I, how did you scare me ... freak ... I hate you!This is the first thing Louis heard after his failed self-drinking attempt. Tommy… beloved younger brother, blinking word after word, trying to be like him in everything… that’s who found him in a pool of his own blood, almost dead… He felt something was wrong in some place, rushed through half the city… managed.“I nearly died when I saw this!” Why Lou? What for?The blue eyes of the little brother, round from experiences, look at him with such reproach ... He sits on the edge of the bed and holds his tied hand. Louis pictured Tom shaking him, tying his belt over his shoulder, covering his wounds with kitchen towels, dialing the ambulance with his blood-slick fingers, and he felt excruciatingly ashamed.“I… don’t know… I’m sorry, Tommy… I didn’t mean it, really… it just kind of happened… by accident…”His tongue barely moves in his parched mouth.- How are you? Do you want something?"Drinking... I
Now Louis had plenty of time to think and remember. He, in fact, only did what he thought and remembered. Probably, this was facilitated by the drugs that he was injected with. He became very balanced, calm, somehow airy inside. Empty and light.He was no longer tied. They didn't put me in a psychiatric hospital. He said he would run away no matter what the cost. Then he was simply transferred to the department of neurosis, or whatever it was ... in the same hospital - and thanks for that. The cuts slowly healed and scarred.Louis wanted to go home. But it hasn't worked out yet. First, the dumbfounded parents insisted that he be treated. Pfft... from what? There is no cure for love ... Except perhaps with a lobotomy. To become a vegetable with arbitrary drooling is beauty ... Secondly, in this section of the bars on the windows and by the orderlies on duty, you will slip through the dick. Mini mental hospital...Tom... that little bastard... talked to Kit, knew her phone number, and d
How retarded he is, Lou realizes only when he starts to dress. Fingers barely obey. Damn medicine, soon it will completely knock him out ... And before that, a concert at the request of Mr. Simmons, who sings in the voice of Sailor Moon, will have to be listened to ... Colored glare is already creeping along the walls. Keith has to help him, button up his jeans, tie his shoelaces. It seemed to him that he almost strangled his beloved in his arms. In fact, it barely moves. It took him a lot of strength to fight - he cursed, spat and writhed like a snake, preventing his sister from injecting him with medicine. Then the nurse just lay down on him.Seeing him naked, Kitty cries again and says that if it weren't for the tattoos, he would just be transparent."Don't cry baby, everything will be fine..."Louis has to lean on her shoulder to steady himself on his feet. There is a noise coming from the corridor, definitely, something is already happening there. Keith opens the door, looks out