Chapter 35: The Gathering Of Stormclouds, Part 13, Kirstie's Past

"It's all a bit... public," says Ryan. "Are we expected to..."

"Only if you want to. Plenty of people get off on exhibitionism. And a lot enjoy voyeurism."

"And you? Have you... done these things?"

"Yes, I've done them. But only with other people who also enjoyed it."

Realisation washes across his face. "Is that how you know James and Michael? You and they...?"

Oh, crap.

Is this it?

Might as well be truthful. He's bound to find out sooner or later...

"Yes, once."

He chews the thought over. "Once? They weren't your... lovers?"

"No, they're a couple of nice guys that I had sex with, once."

"And what am I? Another nice guy you have sex with?"

Now there is a challenge in his eye, and for the first time, I know in my heart of hearts that I want this man to be more than that.

"No," I say. "It started out that way. You know it did... the way we met. But you're more to me now." I wait for his response... which doesn't come.

Anxiety snatches at my gut. "How do you fe