EvaWe dance some more, then I dance with the others. I spoke to people whose names I couldn’t hear and never will. I've sobered up when we leave the club at around 5 am. I don't know how we'll get back but at the same time, I don't care. "Let's go to my place?" Aaron suggests. Nathan looks at me questioningly and I just agree, he can't drive now, so we get a cab and the car leaves us in front of a nice, big house, somewhere in the inner-city center. "You cool? You seem kind of lost?" Aaron asks me."No, I'm just. It's a nice house. " I say as I take the whole place in."Yeah, you'll like the backyard better. "We get in and he welcomes us in a very big living room. There are vinyls scattered on the floor, with open books resting here and there and a big white cat dozing off on what looks like the softest carpet I've ever seen. "My parents are not here, as usual- so feel like home. "Yeah, I've never felt like that in my own house and I'd rather not start feeling the way I do at h
EvaI get home by the time it’s 2 pm. Damn it. Kind of. Because I can’t bring myself to be upset about it. I am just trying to prepare for the nagging I guess it’s coming. Unless my mom’s sleeping. And she isn’t. She’s sitting at the kitchen table, smoking. I pause, and she doesn’t look up once I’m standing at the entrance door. “Hey, Mom?”My mother then looks up, as if she is surprised to see me. Maybe she is. “Eva. ““Uhh, are you all right?”“Yes, I am all right. How was it with Chris?”“Chris?”Right, I’d told her I was going to be with Chris, right. “It was...it was okay. We talked, saw a movie; you know. The usual stuff.”She smiles. “It’s a good thing you go out now more often. It was about time; you’re turning eighteen soon. I was starting to get worried you don’t spend much time with people your age and…”“Yeah, “I interrupt. Half annoyed, half guilty. “Okay. I’ll be upstairs. “I head up to my room, trying not to think about the lie I had just told her. Besides, it doe
Eva The reason why I’ve never liked my birthday is that I have always thought I don’t have many people to invite to a potential party. Although the idea of me and a party seemed absurd up to not a long time ago, still I imagined I did have one. And then no one would want to come if I asked them. It’s like I’ve wanted to save myself from the embarrassment of asking someone to come when they’d planned to say ‘sorry, I’m busy all along. That’s for one thing. Another would be, and I’m not exaggerating, is that I have never been able to imagine people coming home, with my mother being the way she is. When I was a kid I waited for my dad to call. That was until I turned eleven or twelve. Then I stopped thinking of that too. So whenever that time of the year comes, I just ignore it and think of it as any other day of the year. In a way, it is exactly that. I am just entering my classroom when Chris jumps out of somewhere and hugs me real tight.“Happy birthday, Eva!”I wrap my hands aro
Jeremy“There's a lake,” Kyle says, his eyes wide with amazement “you actually have a lake in your backyard, are you kidding me, Jer. “He looks like a child at the sight of cakes. His brown eyes are sparkling- brightly, and beautifully and I wish I was bright like that and he wouldn't have to put up with me. I'm a dark spot. Dark like the gray sky above us now.Our parents went off, as planned and since even Nathan decided he could disappear for another few days, I decided to ask Kyle to come here. The maids have never asked questions, and they didn’t do now, although I’m sure Kyle was unnecessarily charming when Martha greeted us at the front door earlier. Kyle is like that- way too charming, especially when he smiles without even knowing it. and that makes him twice more charming, but don’t tell him I said it. So he agreed to come here, although I wasn’t sure if he would. It sounds boring, even to me. But I must have betrayed my absolute unwillingness to go anywhere else. But ye
EvaI've never wanted to kiss anyone before. Not like that, I mean. Before Nathan showed up and changed my whole life. I kissed a guy for the first time during that summer holiday a few years back. But he wasn't my boyfriend or anything. He was just a guy from our neighborhood and we used to hang out together. I hated it. Not only because I didn't know what I was doing and because he didn't know either. It wasn’t just that. But most of all, the reason for my revulsion was I knew I was doing it because everyone else was doing it. Chris was always talking about her boyfriend from back then and she wasn't the only one. At some point, I left like everyone had a boyfriend or a girlfriend.Except for me.I guess, in a weird way I was trying to catch up with them, or prove to them that I wasn't the most undesirable girl out there. Or the lousiest one. The nerd girl who can't even like someone, with so many boys out there; or be liked by anyone. Of course, my attempts didn't lead to anythi
KyleHe is kissing me back, and I can't get enough of him; enough of this feeling, of having him in my arms. He's much smaller than me, yet so not fragile.At the same time, I wish I could protect him from everything and everyone. It's so strange, I want to believe I can be the person he trusts, I want to be that person for him. I break the kiss and wrap my hands around him. Jer wraps his hands around me too and we just stand there, in the middle of the lake hugging each other. I squeeze him one last time and kiss his cheek "Thank you." A say against his neck and he shivers."What for?" "Just for letting me be here with you." And before I've said something weird, or something that would push him away, I add"Let's go back inside, it is cold.""Okay."Jeremy slips away from my hands and we head to the shore. I won't ask him why he never took his clothes off, and I know he'll only tell me if he needs to. We get back inside and head upstairs. I still can't believe how huge the hous
EvaI am sitting on the bed, the soft, white bathrobe the hotel offers wound around my body. Nathan was right. They do have toothbrushes and everything in here. I’ve wrapped my hands around my knees and the water from my wet hair’s still dripping on me, some drops land on the nice, fashionable carpet on the floor. Everything seemed perfect. Once Nathan went out, I did stay alone with my head and took a look around. This was me and this was happening. I was here, miles away from home with the person I’ve liked the moment I had seen him. We were in a nice hotel, and ...and then I went to the bathroom and took my clothes off. What’s worse than having the school nurse come and give the class the sex education lesson and show us how to put condoms on; what’s worse than dropping your pad in front of your classmates on your way out to the restroom is, and I swear it’s the worst thing ever- is getting your period when you are finally with the person you’ve liked for months and you can fi
He’s closed his eyes, and water’s dripping from his hair all over his chest. I see his tattoos, the ones I’ve seen only partly are now at full display. There’s the dragon I saw that time at Aaron’s and I see branches of a tree that are drawn on the skin above his ribs. They continue to the back, and then the tree goes even lower on his torso, but the rest is under the soapy water. I avert my eyes and turn my back on him before he’s seen me checking him out like an idiot. Like last time.I know tattoos are something special to people who have them; I mean, that’s not always true for everyone, but I somehow know a little about Nathan to know by now that’s not the case with him and they are likely something important. And I don’t want to be sticking my nose where it shouldn’t be, so I only say.“Yes?”I lean against the wall of the bath and I hear him say behind me. “Why haven’t you asked me?”“About?”“What exactly happened back in England. “I relax against the thin wall, separatin