“This is perfect,” she told him, and his eyes warmed. “Thank you.”He dropped an arm over her slender shoulders and gave her a quick, little one-armed hug.“I saw an advertisement for this place last winter and I knew that you’d like it.” Last winter? At least six months before her return? He had learned about this place and thought of her. Not with any hatred or resentment it seemed. Instead he had thought about something that would make her happy. It was startling to know that he hadn’t always thought of her in anger over the last couple of years, and Cindy wasn’t sure how to process that information.They got home shortly before eight, and Kayla was once again drooping in exhaustion. Gerard took her from Cindy’s arms.“I’ll put her to bed,” he offered.“Gerard,” you’ve been taking care of her all week, I should—”“And you’ve been taking care of her on your own for years. This is the least I can do,” he interrupted, and she protested no further. She knew that he needed to make up fo
“ I know,” she appeased, kissing his chest and neck lovingly before raising her head to meet his eyes. “It’s okay.”“No,” he whispered quietly. “No, it’s not.” He hovered for a moment before, with a growl of brutal self-denial, he dragged himself out of her arms and off the bed all in one swift movement. He stood at the side of the bed, gloriously naked and painfully aroused, to stare at her for a heartbeat before turning away and heading toward the en suite. Cindy watched the door close gently behind him and an instant later, heard the shower going on. She turned her face into the pillow with an anguished sob and wondered at the amount of self-control it must have taken for him to get up and leave her. She was tempted to join him in the shower, but she knew that he believed he had done the right thing. She could not undermine the sacrifice he had just made by stepping into that shower with him.She dragged herself out of the warm bed and to her own room. Knowing that she would get no
“Sorry,Cindy , I thought you were giving her a bath. I didn’t know you were in the tub with her. I’ll talk to you later.” He turned to leave.“Daddy no go!” Kayla demanded, fiercely unhappy that her father was about to leave. Cindy groaned and buried her face between the child’s fragile shoulder blades, then looked up to meet his amused eyes.“You might as well stay; she’ll be insufferable if you don’t,” Cindy said. He nodded, lowering the lid on the commode and sitting down, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his denim-clad thighs and his hands loosely clasped between his knees. Happy that her daddy was watching, Kayla launched into full show-off mode. She decorated her mother’s face and hair with more bubbles before dragging a plastic doll into the water and starting a chatty tea party with it. Soon she was totally absorbed in her game, and Gerard shifted his beautiful eyes from child to disconcerted mother.“I didn’t mean to lose my temper earlier,” he murmured.“I know.” S
“Don’t call me that,” she said. She just felt tired and defeated. He stood there, hand still outstretched and looking miserable, with alcohol dripping from his hair and into his eyes. For a very brief moment she felt herself softening.“I know that I’ve been an utter bastard,” he admitted.“Yes.”His admission strengthened her resolve.“I’m sorry . . . ?”“Is that a question? Or an actual apology?”He hesitated briefly and she rolled her eyes. “Get back to me when you know for sure.” She swept from the room, and Gerard stared at the door for a long time after she’d left.Now that this whole divorce thing was becoming a palpable fact, he admitted to himself that he wasn’t quite so willing to roll over and give her everything that she asked for. He wanted his wife and child but he was a broken man, both physically and emotionally, and it hardly seemed fair to saddle her with his innumerable problems after everything that he had already put her through. Yet he knew that without her he’d
“And that disappointed you?” he asked levelly, trying not to sound jealous at the thought of his wife ogling some other guy. Of course, he had no idea if he succeeded or not, but he hoped that he managed to sound as neutral as he was pretending to be.“No, it was more of a scientific experiment.” Her eyes were on his lower lip, and he wondered what the hell she found so fascinating about it.Going to a strip club was a scientific experiment?” He knew that he sounded like a complete idiot, but he wasn’t sure he was following this weird conversation correctly. He kept feeling like he was missing something.“You have such a gorgeous mouth.” She totally threw him with that one. “Much better than Massive Marvin’s.”“Are you going to compare me to this Massive Marvin guy all night?” he asked resentfully, feeling ridiculous even saying the stupid name.“No . . . not fair, he’d lose.” She went up on her toes and completely slammed him by kissing him. Her arms crept around his neck, and her bo
“I’ll get my assistant to look into viable homes for you. Once we’ve compiled a list of possibilities, you can decide which one suits you best.” He turned and walked out of the room, leaving Cindy feeling wrung out and deflated by the hollow victory.Gerard waited until he was safely back behind the closed door of his study before bending at the waist and inhaling deeply as the consequences of his promise hit him like a freight train. She was going to leave him and he was going to let her because she deserved her freedom, because it was cruel to saddle a vibrant and affectionate woman like her with an emotionally crippled husband, and most importantly because he still didn’t know how to explain his actions on that long-ago night.A baby, Jesus God, he had thought. He wasn’t ready to be a father! He would be terrible at it. He would be like his own father—abusive, mean, and absent in both heart and soul. He couldn’t have a child yet, not until Cindy healed him some more. Over the last
“You were always so easily distracted from work,” she reminisced. “Like the time you flew me to Mauritius for a long weekend, completely forgetting about that important conference call you had on the Monday.”“I have no regrets.” He shrugged. “That was a hell of a weekend.” They had spent most of it naked on a private beach.“Pierre was furious with you,” she recalled.“He got over it. Besides, we were newlyweds, he understood.”“We’d been married for more than a year,” she corrected.“Your point being?”“Do you remember that street performer who followed us from the marketplace back to the hotel?” she asked, and his eyes lit up with laughter at the memory.“He wouldn’t stop his horrendous serenading the entire walk back.”“You begged him to stop, bribed him, and offered to put his unborn children through university,” she said, giggling.“I don’t think he understood my high-school French,” Gerard laughed.“He was awful!” they both said in unison before lapsing into an awkward silence.
“You were the most entrancing thing I’d ever seen,” he said, his voice gruff, and she shook her head dismissively.“Hardly.”“You still are, Cindy .” He brushed aside her automatic protest. “You’re not some boring, conventional beauty, true. And yeah, you tend to be a little clumsy at times. But you’re unusual, interesting, and to me you’re just so indescribably gorgeous. I never thought that I deserved you. You were too good for the likes of me.”She didn’t understand that sentiment at all. He was heartbreakingly handsome and she was painfully plain. He came from a background of wealth and privilege while her family had been as poor as church mice. He had been Oxford educated with a master’s degree in business while she had barely made it through high school. It had been a classic Cinderella tale, and Cindy had been the one to feel inadequate when compared to him.“I should have left you alone,” he was saying, his low voice alive with misery and his eyes filled with such profound sad