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Chapter 99
Nate
We walked into the social worker’s building, Maya and I were holding hands, while in front of us was my father with Zeke and Chris who would be our legal representatives.
Maya wore a pair of dark glasses and walked silently beside me, almost as if she wanted to hold onto me and support me when I couldn’t do it by myself.
"Do you know if Axel is here?" I asked Zeke and Chris.
"He should be in the building, I don’t know where. Lucas said social workers took him from the group home and brought him here," Chris said, clutching his briefcase.
I clenched my teeth and Maya’s hand as we headed for the elevator.
"When you see Brad, don’t say a word, don’t complicate things, let us talk to his lawyer and the judge, okay?" Zeke said once the doors closed.
I sighed and leaned against the elevator wall, closing my eyes.
"I don’t know if I can keep from smashing his fac
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Let Me Love You Again Chapter 100
MayaI was in pieces. Destroyed. I hadn’t slept in days, I hadn’t eaten in days, and I knew how fucking wrong it was, I had to think about my little girl too, but I couldn’t think to breathe without my little first-begotten son.I had to see him, hug him, and inhale his wonderful scent. I didn’t give a shit about all these stories these four assholes were shooting, and, yeah, I didn’t even care that my father-in-law was involved. I didn’t care about anyone, just Axel."Where’s my son," I said for the second time, this time with clenched teeth.The judge looked at the social worker and nodded. The woman got up and left the room. I also got up, and I stood behind Nate, putting my hands on the back of his chair, feeling agitated. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was tired, under stress, and scared. If I could find a hair off my baby’s head, I’d burn the whole building to the ground.I knew that in the last few days Axel was doing relatively well, I knew he had eaten little, but he had done
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 101
NateWe walked into the apartment early in the afternoon, we got some KFC hoping to cheer Axel up, since he’d been quiet the whole time, we’d bought his favorite sandwich with the toy, but Axel had refused to eat, without saying a word, He shook his head and hid his face in Maya’s neck.He didn’t even want to sit in his car seat. As soon as we tried to put him in, he began to tremble and hold Maya tightly, who, with eyes full of tears, had kept him all the time sitting on her lap.At that moment, we were returning to the apartment. Maya laid Axel on the ground, kneeling before him and taking off his denim jacket while I locked the door. I heard Maya sniff the air and then watched Axel."Why didn’t you tell me you got dirty?" she asked softly.Axel lowered his head and shook it, not saying a word. Maya looked at me, her eyes watering, unable to do anything. I took off my jacket and pulled down, squatting next to Axel while Maya got up and went into the kitchen."Hey buddy, how about t
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 102
MayaNate went into Axel’s room, and I followed him. My child was standing in his bed, clinging to the bars and screaming at the top of his throat, his face full of terror and tears running down his cheeks. As soon as he saw Nate, he squealed even more and pushed himself to get out. Nate picked him up, and Axel immediately grabbed him, almost as if he wanted to stick to his father’s body."Axel, no alone," he said in sobs.It squeezed my heart, and I passed a hand on his back. Nate began to rock him slowly as he kissed him on the cheeks. I took his pacifier and put it in his mouth as Axel closed his eyes. As his body became heavy and his arms dangled, Nate approached to leave him in his bed.As Nate leaned over to leave him in bed, Axel shut his eyes and spit out his pacifier, screaming like a madman and clinging to Nate’s neck."NO!" he screamed loudly as he struggled."Wait, don’t put him in bed," I said to Nate.Nate retreated and began to rock him as Axel rested his head on his
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 103
NateMaya stayed in Axel’s room trying to calm him down while I called the paediatrician to ask what to do in these cases. Axel was agitated, his eyes were wide open, and he had no intention of going to sleep. He had clung to his mother with all his might and had no intention of leaving her.He was terrified of something, I could only imagine what kind of trauma he had after being ripped out of Maya’s arms like that and spending days alone with strangers. Knowing also the distrust he felt towards others had not been at all easy for him and he wept my heart to see him in that state.I explained the situation to the pediatrician, also describing what seemed like panic attacks for Axel. I was afraid to take him to a specialist, I was afraid that he would tell us to bomb him with drugs and I did not want my son to be subjected to such things already so small.The paediatrician listened carefully to everything I said, even
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 104
NateWe had just returned from the visit to the gynecologist, according to the doctor was all right, the pulse was there and it was strong. Maya had expressed her fears and the doctor had reassured her, telling her to pay more attention to stress and rest as much as possible.I looked at Axel from the rearview mirror and noticed that he had fallen asleep in his car seat, the bottle we gave him dangled and still held him tight in his little hand. Lately, he was broken, he slept little and he was always agitated. He played less and many times he was silent, he just sat on the mat and watched his toys. I didn’t like what was happening to him at all, I didn’t like that this little creature was already so traumatized, and I wanted to rip the head off whoever caused that pain.Maya was sitting next to me, texting on the phone."Some secret admirer texting you for a quickie?" I asked, recalling the scenes of jealousy that were raging in the last days whenever I was holding the phone."I’m no
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 105
Maya I got to Jess’s house, I held Axel’s hand because he didn’t even want to get into the stroller, but he didn’t move from next to me, he was like my shadow. Jess and Andrew’s penthouses were noisy when I arrived. You could hear the twins crying and Jess talking to herself. I let go of Axel’s hand and he followed the crying of the newborns to the room where, sitting on the carpet, there was Jess with the children crying and kicking. "Hey," I said, trying to get over the screaming. "May!" Jess yelled. Axel approached in silence and sat down next to Emma, who looked at him with clear eyes. My little Axel stretched out a hand and Emma grabbed his finger with her little hand, beginning to laugh joyfully. Jess looked at their interaction with the frowning forehead "Did she cry for ten minutes yarn and just the presence of a male to calm her down?" "It’s your own flesh and blood," I said laughing and sitting on the couch a little awkwardly, "Tell me you already have lunch ready beca
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 106
NateI parked the car in the parking lot inside the building where we lived. It was one o'clock in the morning and I felt broken.After the meeting with Dad we locked ourselves in the conference room to study the case that we would go to deal with in the weeks when we would be in Seattle, we had worked non-stop and we had not stopped for a moment except to have dinner. A beautiful takeout dinner we had had while we continued to discuss the case.As much as I wish Jess wasn’t on maternity leave, at least she was going to go first to Seattle and get me out of the game.As great an opportunity as a lawyer was, it was bad timing. I had no desire to leave Maya and Axel all that time alone. I didn’t even know if I could make it back at least the weekend, and in two weeks we had the other ultrasound.What a shitty timing.I sigh and I take the key out of the picture and then I get out of the car and I lock it.I entered the elevator on the underground floor and pressed the floor of our apart
Let Me Love You Again Chapter 107
Nate That morning I woke up at dawn, the sun was just peeping out. Maya was completely wrapped up and lying on me. She had one leg put around my hips and with one arm she held me close to her, the head was resting on my chest and I could feel her breath warm on my skin. I was completely immobilized. Not that I was sorry. Finding myself in Maya’s possessive embrace made me relax my body and mind that that night had been completely in chaos. I blinked several times, realizing that, for the first time in weeks, Axel hadn’t woken up during the night, he had slept all night and I didn’t know if it was for the evening tea or if his mind had just started to water. I kissed Maya on the head and moved her, trying not to wake her, as I wriggled from her embrace. Maya sighed annoyed and lay down on her back with her hands raised and the blanket on her legs. Her hair was completely messed up and in front of her face. I laughed at seeing her like that and I bent down to leave her a kiss on her
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