Nearly dead!

Aileen's POV

I have never had my heart beating so fast and hard like this in my whole life ever, I feel like it is going to explode if this continues. My mind had never brainstormed so much for a way out of such a miserable state that God had put me in today. I don't blame anyone but then I still think it is too much now. Why is my life so very damn miserable? Every single day is a new disaster, another heart attack or mental health threat. Can I please get a rest from all of this now, dear God?. The fact that Alan was standing outside my door made my body shake so much that I think I'd pee my pants any moment. He kept ringing that bell so hard and no matter how hard my mind was trying to convince me that it might be someone else outside the door, but with that level of impatience… I could only think of him. No matter how hard I wanted not to open that door, I know I got to do it so that he could finish whatever it is that he came here for and leave before mom returns from the grocery