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4. Secret Proposal.

Lily's Pov.

Ryan makes me work non stop that day. Even though he goes out at some site checking, he gives me various things to do as he has many meetings that day. I brought a doughnut for him too but forgot to give him.

I finish more than half of my work before lunch hour gets over. I heat my lunch box of super creamy three cheese spaghetti. I am crazy about cheese. I took two box in case I got more hungry. But I only heat up one. I take it to my desk to eat.

"Lily, I want you to call finance department and tell them their meeting is in an hour. Get ready a file of last-" He says as he is looking at the phone but then he looks up to see me eating.

"I will do it right away." I say as I lick my lip and clean it with tissue paper. 

"No have your lunch then tell them. Also order something for me from nearby restaurant for lunch. Even I forgot to eat anything. I will see to it after lunch." He says and goes inside.

I reheat another box as I eat mine and take out the two doughnuts. I arrange it for him in a plate from break room and take it to his office. I put it on his desk along with the file I think he wants to look at.

"So fast? Which restaurant was it?" He says as he looks at the dish.

"I actually bought two lunch boxes for me. So I thought as time is less I will just this heat up and give it to you. Please do enjoy and this is the file you were going to ask, I think." I say.

"Yes it is. Thank you. Tastes nice. Now get back to your lunch." He says and I go out to have lunch.

I finish my meal and dessert both, then get back to work. I already emailed the head of finance department when I was eating. So I just have to see to the arrangements in conference room.

After that meeting in the afternoon, I was free at my desk as I already completed rest of my work and Ryan has gone out for shopping. I get bored and think about surfing some places to go for vacation.

There so many places but I want to some where, where there is lots of trees and mountains. Nature all around me. I have never gone outside of New York. So maybe I could find something where there is mountains and could be enjoyed best in summer.

And I finally choose Vermont for it. Richard once told me to visit there and stay at her wife's hotel. It has the scenic view. I will inform him about it beforehand so I can get a room there only.

Ryan texts me that I can leave for home. So I call my brother that I would be leaving and not to wait up for me. It is the third week in month of March. The weather is sometimes hot and sometimes cold. I go to a grocery store not so far from my apartment.

I have to buy things for Emma's baby shower on Saturday with Ethan only. Then decorate half of the living and backyard garden. I already told her friends to come at what time and snacks would come from backery and some would be arranged in small cafe.

I buy some vegetables and fruits like spinach, pepper, broccoli, onion and apple, oranges, grapes. I also buy some waffles, things needed to make some cookies and box of ice cream.

I make simple soup and salad at night. After eating I clean up the apartment. I take shower then go for sleep. At morning, I make cookie dough and put in refridgerator as I am going to make it tonight.

Two days pass by without any other incident or further any communication between Ryan and me. I mean we do talk but just about business and meetings. We are totally formal with each other. I don't know whether I should relieved or disappointed.

I also got to know through office rumours that Ryan and Jess broke up the morning I joined him. I don't know the further details but it got confirmed when he told me to sent a gift to her address with good wishes.

I don't know what to make of it. Even if he is single, shouldn't he wait for sometime before jumping onto next relationship. But he hinted about being my boyfriend after a month. I don't know what to do as I never had a relationship. But whenever he looks at me I feel a current go through me. I feel different.

Today is Friday and I also have to stay with Ethan for baby shower preparation on weekends. So I pack small duffle bag with my stuff. I also take another bag for the things I made for Ethan.

As Fridays are informal day, I wear jade green silk pleated skirt with black turtleneck full sleeve tight t-shirt. I wear black heels with it and also leave my hairs open after braiding small strands of it from front. 

I take my jacket and purse and leave the apartment. I call Lucas on the way to subway and tell him to wait for me in parking lot. When I reach there, I not only see him but also Ryan too. They are both talking to each other.

"Good Morning." I greet them both.

"Good Morning, Ms. Scott." Ryan says. Yes even his way to address me has changed.

"Good Morning, dear. What is all this? Are you shifting to my place permanently or what?" Lucas jokes as he sees bags in my hand. They both take each one from my hand and Lucas opens the boot.

"In one I have my things and in another one there are cookies. One minute." I say as I stop him from closing it and take out two plastic boxes from it.

"You are spoiling Ethan." Lucas complains.

"Well he is my baby. He should be spoilt by his one and only aunt." I say.

We all go inside and I give one box to Cassy and tell him share it with Bob too. Ryan insist Lucas to come with us but he refuses as he see one of his team-mate. I have never been with Ryan alone in lift. I always come way before him but today he is early.

The thick silence in the lift really is making me so nervous. I don't know how much time would it take us to reach there. Just when I think that, my eyes clashes with Ryan and we both get lost in each other's eyes. Our breathing becomes slow and deep as we hold each other's attention.

Slowly he moves towards me and I move back. But soon I am trapped between him and lift wall behind me. He looks at me for a second then looks at my lips. He bends down but just when he goes to kiss me, I turn away.

"I don't think I have the power to resist you anymore." He says as he places light kisses over the side of my neck. 

I fist my hand as I get this real urge to just smash my lips with him to know how it feels to be kissed. How his lips would feel against mine? Would they soft or would they hard?

Before my curiosity could be quenched, we reach our floor and Ryan backs off. He looks in my eyes and smirks which irritates me because now he knows how I am trying to resist.

I get out of the lift and finally able to breath and indulge myself in work. I am so stupid. I should have said something. If it was someone else I would have knee him in his balls which I actually did to one person who tried to get close to me.

But I don't know what happens to me when I am near him. My whole body wants to just betray me and obey him. He whistles as he passes by my desk to his cabin. I feel the heat rise up my cheeks and I touch the place his lips touched me.

I take deep breaths and drink some cold water then wear my professional face and go inside. We discuss today's schedule like nothing ever happened between us in the lift.

The day goes by in the meeting and he makes new dealings. As I didn't had any breakfast, I go down to my brother's floor to have lunch as Emma told me she would be making lunch for both of us.

At leaving time, Ryan takes my hand and moves towards his cabin. I thank god when I think that there were no camera in lift. Even though nothing happened, our closeness was too much to arise questions on me. 

"Lily I am straight forword person. I will come to the point. I want you. I want this to happen and I know you want it too. You can feel it too. So why not pursue it?" Ryan asks. So he is on the first name basis again.

"We are in office right now. Can we please not talk about this right now?" I say as I try to maintain distance between us.

"Answer my question first." He says.

"Fine then. What kind of relationship are you looking for with me? Because I will tell you beforehand that I am not into casual one and if that what you want then we should not talk about this topic at all." I say confidently.

I know he seriously dated only two times in life and wouldn't be wanting anything like that right now. He just wants a sexual relationship with me, as I have rejected some of his advances.

"What if I want to date you?" He says and I look at him in shock.

"It has not been a week since you broke up with your last girlfriend and you are moving way too fast." I say as I back up.

"We broke up because she fell out of love. We were already separated for a month or two. But that is not the point here. Tell me what if I want to date you?" He says.

"Really? But can't you wait for a month?" I ask.

"No. Tell me." He asks. He is so stubborn.

"Well… I don't know. I never had any relationship. So I don't know what to say." I say as I sit down on sofa.

"What do you mean? You are beautiful and so smart. There must a fling or two or someone.." He says with difficulty like the thought of me with other man is burning him.

"I am a virgin. I didn't even got my first kiss yet. So don't expect me to jump on bed with you on the first date." I say as I blush just to make it clear to him or maybe scare him off.

I look up to see his flushed and shocked face. He goes to his desk and drinks some water. he runs his hand through his hairs. He walks for sometime then comes back towards me.

"So take this weekend to think and tell me your answer on Monday. You are the one who will set the rules of this relationship. I just have one." He say as he takes my hand in his as he sits beside me.

"What?" I ask.

"It would be secret while we are working here together after that we can reveal it. Think about it clearly." Ryan says as he squeezes my hand and stands upto leave.

He has one last meeting to attend and I can leave as he said earlier in the morning. As I take my purse and go in the lift. I rub my head as I don't know what to say. No one has ever asked me to have relationship with them and even if they did they didn't mean it. 

I shake my head and think about just enjoying weekend with my family. If Lucas sees my face he would know something is wrong and I really don't want to spoil our weekend.

We drive for our home. It has been a while since I have been here. Our house is beautiful. It is two storied house with a garden in front and swimming pool and small garden in the backyard. 

As soon as I enter the home I am attacked by Ethan's embrace. He talks non stop and shows me his prize winning drawing. I make Emma sit as I make dinner for us all and talk with each other about her job.

Emma is actually working for a event management company run by a woman named Kathy Brown. Emma is like a second mother to me. She has always looked after me and makes sure that I am okay. She is eight and half month pregnant right now. her due date is in the end week of April. 

That is why her mom is going to stay with her in April before her due date and then leave after a week or two the baby is born. I put the plates and dishes on the dinner table. We laugh as we eat and talk. I love small moments like this a lot. 

Emma tells me to hide cookies in the back of the top shelves as their neighbours already has given enough to Ethan. I wash up the dishes and clean the kitchen while Lucas tells a story to Ethan.

"So anyone in your life?" Emma asks as we sit in the backyard in a chair.

"Hmm… No." I say as I look anywhere but at her.

"You do have someone." She says as she sits up.

"I think I said no." I said as I look at her in shock.

"Oh, please. When I used to ask this question before you used to say a direct no straight to my face. Come on, Lily. I am your friend. Tell me." She says.

"It is not like you think. I just feel something for him and he said he does too. He wants to pursue whatever it is we have but I don't know what to say." I confess thinking she might be of some help to me.

"Oh My God! It means you finally came out of your frigid zone." She says.

"What?" I ask.

"Come on. You know how you always are. A bit reserved and conservative. I am not saying there is anything wrong with it." She teases me and I try to get up but she stops me.

"I am sorry. Okay do you know your brother and my story?" She asks.

"Of course." I say.

"I was like you very much focused and driven towards graduating as soon as possible and get a job to help my mother. I too never had time for relationships or fun. But the day I met Lucas my whole life changed. At first I tried to distance myself from him. I wasted two years. But then when he graduated, I got scared that I will get better job but I won't get better life partner. I didn't wanted to regret, so I took a step forward and asked him out before it got too late. Eight years has passed by and I am so happy that I didn't miss my chance at happiness." Emma says with sweet smile on her face.

"I am too." I say as I squeeze her hand.

"Lily, I know what you are feeling. I felt it too. Think and do whatever decision your heart tells you to do. But know one thing it is all about one step. You rather take a leap or regret it for whole life." She says and I know what she means.

This is going to be a long weekend for sure.

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Cecilia Kalenga
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