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I'll rather die.
“I felt like we're already living in a forest...like in the most beautiful way.” I uttered and sip my green tea which taste the worst but the best for my dumb body.
Tim nodded and smiled looking at the view outside. Just people passing by with breads on their hands, or children running early in the morning, and the sound of the birds chirping- it made me feel alive. I took my cardigan from the chair beside me and wore it.
“Where are you going, young lady?“ Tim asked.
Since yesterday he's been calling me 'young lady' or would reply to me with words like 'my pleasure'. I couldn't count how many times I'd punch him because of that.
“I want to visit the tree when you cross the lake, I found it really pretty. Gotta go. I'll be back-”
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Should I wake him up?Should I go outside?Am I dying tonight?Should I just wait for the sun again?“Ugh, this kind of old drama again.”I mumbled to myself and sat down on the side of my bed again and took a deep sigh. It's freaking three in the morning and no single sign of sleepiness showed up. It's been a long time since insomnia hugged me. I've been walking back in forth here in my small room. I kept my moves quietly because the wall is thin, I might wake him up. I don't know what to do anymore. Insomnia and panic attack at the same time is the worst combination ever.I stood up again and walked through the door. I nervously twisted the doorknob with trembling hands. A deafening silence covered the whole area of
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“ What is this? Take this away from-”“Kath, you need that.” Grandpa uttered calmly while eyes are darted on me and holding my hands and squeezing it gently.My brows went down together as they all look at me with pity. “ Who the hell made you believe I am dying?!”My voice sounds arrogant and I know I am losing control of my self. I'm losing all the respect left in my body. I just can't understand why all of this has to happen.I just want take this clear tube that divides underneath my neck being tucked in the back of my ears, and meet in my nostrils. I tried to get my hands off Grandpa's but he won't let me go because he know what I will do.“This is making me sick!” I screamed while tears of hatred streamed down. “I
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Timothy's POVShe's all I got and all I gained. I don't know how to spend my days if I lose her. She's been my partner in almost everything. She's not just Zoe Kathareen Edwards but she's the one I can see in my future. No one can replace her and I don't want her to leave me. I already lose my Mom and I'm a coward knowing she'll left sooner. Damn.Since I knew I am in love with her, I promise to myself that I will try the best of me to help her find the will to continue living life. And since the day I met her, she's always stayed in my mind for unknown reasons. I've been searching for this feeling and now, It's scary it might fade away the soonest-just like her.She's hardheaded and tough, but I love her. Just seeing her smile, gives sparkles to my body. Her presence always made me feel I am home and I cant imagine waking u
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Zoe's POVI hit the enter icon and took a sigh. A sigh that says I am almost done with life. I stared blankly ahead and found nothing interesting. Everything seems dull in my vision.I saved the final draft of the chapter I wrote and closed my laptop. I put it back on my right desk and hug my pillow again. It's been days since I last wrote a chapter of it and I am scared I couldn't finish it within my remaining life expectancy. I should be happy because death is what I want before...but now... I don't want to face it. I want to stay alive...with him.I'm like a ghost to him since yesterday. He never glance or ask me if I am okay, not even giving me a pat in my head. It's always Grandpa or Miss Mia or Kira who would accompany me with this damn cancer.
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“You're leaving?” I questioned Kira as she packed up her stuffs while Miss Mia is helping her. “Yeah. School's going to start sooner. But I'll come here to visit like three times a month..or by any chance.” She gave me a warm smile and slowly walked to me ang gave me a tight hug. “Please... I still want to see you...don't leave us too soon.” she whispered. It made me speechless causing me to blink few times. I embraced her tighter because I feel like this will be the last time. I can feel it inside me that once she'll disappeared in my vision, the next time we'll meet will be in the afterlife. “
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“ Rule number one, always be you. You don't need to pretend you are fine. You are a human and everything you feel is valid.” Grandpa stated while his eyes are widened gazing at us.“ What is he talking about?” Tim whispered to me as he fixed my little oxygen tank.“ Rules..I don't know what for..” I replied, catching my breath.“ Rule number two, always be good to the mates...and the last one, made them feel like they are home.”Oh, for the stall.“ Can I still help? ” I asked even though I already know the answer will be no. “ Or even just the bare minimum like...greeting them with a smile?”Grandpa scratched his forehead and pouted his lips while avoiding my gaze. “ I' ll think about it.”Someon
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I sip the smoothie Grandpa made for me. It tastes great than the ones being served in the hospital. The doctor visited me yesterday and talked with Grandpa about my condition. I also grab the opportunity to apologize for how I act the last time we saw each other. He says that it's normal for him, and he already encountered a lot of dramas like what happened to me and him. But actually, I can't look him in the eye and I know there's a litte regret in me after he left, might be the last time I'll see him.Earlier, Miss Dehlaila helped me clean and wash myself. She was so gentle of me..and the way she speak and move is very gracious. Every time our eyes meet, she always gave me her sweet smile showing her perfect white teeth. She told me that she and Miss Mia are like soulmates-they are friends since they were in their teenage years when Miss Mia has to work for her family. They worked in the same shop where Miss Dehlaila is a wait
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“Ten chapters left.” I uttered replying to Tim's question. HIs eyes went big and there was a smile that formed in his face. I give him a finger gun and scratched the bridge of my nose. I took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. “ I don't know if this is a great story... I don't feel like it's worth someone's time.” I stated while both of my hands are entagled and on top of my forehead.The smile on his face disappeared and he gave me a glare. “ What are you talking about?” he asked but I didn't respond. He went to the window sill and arranged the vases and then opened the curtain letting the light in. “ You know... not everyone can write a novel..” he uttered leaning at the wall while his legs are crossed. “People like you, who are blessed with writing skill are rare... and you should never be yourself's first hater. You may think your story is lousy it's because you already know everything about that story...how it will end or how you
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