FORTY FOUR

Cheska

Love.

True love.

What is that really? How do I know when I am in love? How do I know that the way my heartstrings are pulling at each other is true love? It could just be my anxiety eating at me and I wish I could just switch off the way I am feeling right now. This feeling is disturbing me, and I cannot stand it. Scientists should have invented a way to turn certain feelings off completely because feeling like this when you do not want to is not healthy at all. We should all have a choice on the way we feel because this is insanity.

I am nervous and avoiding him makes absolutely no sense. Because I keep checking on his last seen, his profile pictures, and his status updates despite muting him, wishing he would send me a text, even though we are in the same house. But I am foolish for doing that because he used to come and knock on my door and I pretended to be asleep, now he has stopped, and it is eating me alive! It has been a week of me avoiding him and it is driving me c