I stood up and put my phone inside my bag because I heard it vibrating. I opened my messenger and I received a message from Devon. Asking what I am doing. He is just checking on me. I replied to him that I was just on my bed. I suddenly feel sleepy maybe because the effect of marijuana is getting lower not like a while ago that I am so stoned.
“Do you want me to come over?” He asked. I didn’t reply because I am thinking if I will invite him or not. I looked outside the window and it was already dark. I don’t know what time it is but I know that it is already dinner. So I went down to check Nana Salve and mom but they were not home and it’s too dark in the living area up to the kitchen. I try to call them but they are not answering. I heard a child's laugh and I started to get scared again.
“Mom”
“Nana Salve” I called but they were not really answering. I don’t know if they are home.
I kept on looking around and the light in the kitchen suddenly turned on. I went there to check who was in the kitchen but there was no one. I heard a laugh again behind me so I tried to look behind me and I saw the girl run and suddenly disappear and I heard her laugh again.
“Who is there?” I asked, trying to be brave because I know this is something not normal. The laugh is getting harder and harder and it is getting nearer and nearer that makes my headache again. I heard the voice of the men too and the voice of the boy and the laughter turned into screams and cries. I don’t understand what they are saying but I know the girl is asking for help. She is scared and crying. She is begging the men too. I can hear four voices of a man who I think is attacking her or hurting her. I became scared for the girl.
“No please” I whispered while covering my ears because I feel pity for the girl and I feel like she can connect with me in just an instant. I feel like I am her, and we are one.
“Let’s throw her now,” The boy said. Pertaining to the crying girl, he is talking to the men and they want to throw the girl.
“Help!” The girl cried, begging for help.
“Help!”
“Help!” And she is screaming and screaming inside my head that irritates me.
“Help!”
“Help!”
“No” The scream is getting louder and louder. I feel like my head will burst. Their voices are getting louder and louder too and her cries are getting stronger and stronger. Like, they are abusing her and she was in total pain
“No, please” I whisper while still covering my ears.
“Help me.” The girl suddenly appeared in front of me, facing me. Looking straight to me with her face full of bruises and her arms full of wounds. This is my first time seeing her face to face and I feel pity for her; Seeing her in a poor situation. I think someone abused her and I think the voices from the men that I heard are the men who abused her.
“Help me,” She whispered again and she wanted me to help her.
“How?” I asked her. There’s something in me that wants to help her even though I am scared. She touched my arm and pulled me. Her cold hand is holding me tightly and she is pulling me somewhere. She opened the cabinet and she went inside and pulled me inside too. Together we hid there. She hugged her baby doll and told me not to make a noise. With her short and big t-shirt and her baby doll in her arms. I can say that she doesn't look like an ordinary kid. She is special. She is hiding inside the small cabinet under the stairs even though I don't remember that we have stairs. She told me to stay still and keep quiet because she didn't want the men outside to hear us.
I watched her playing quietly on her baby doll and then she laughed and then she cried and wiped her tears and laughed again. While some of the wounds on her arms are bleeding as she laughs. It looks like a cut from a blade or a cutter or anything that is sharp. I want to ask what happened to her but I am not brave enough to ask her. She looked at me again and told me not to make noise. When the cabinet suddenly opened and one of the men grabbed her.
“Aaaahhh!” She screamed. She tried to grab my hand but the man pulled her out.
“No!” I shouted when I saw the man carrying her. The girl cried and she dropped her doll on the floor.
I know the girl’s life was in danger, that's why I followed the man who grabbed her. I tried to get her back but he is holding her tight and I think he can’t see me and only the girl can see me. “Help!” The girl cried while looking at me. The man is still carrying her and he goes out of the house. I keep on following him because I am so worried about the girl and what is happening to her.
“Stop!” I shouted while following them but he didn’t stop. I don’t know if he can hear me because I know for sure that he can’t see me. The girl kept on shouting and struggling but the more she struggled the more the man was holding her tight.
“Put me down!” She shouted. She looked at me and said, “Help!” She said while trying to reach me with her little hand.
“Stop,” I said while still following the man. He went to the backyard and there were four of the men who were still waiting. They are all wearing boxer shorts. Only boxer shorts and they are waiting for the man who is carrying the girl while the girl keeps on crying and begging them not to hurt her, not to abuse her. Poor girl. I tried to look at their faces but I couldn't see their faces. It is all blurry no matter how many times I want to see them clearly. No matter how many times I tried to stare at them, I couldn't really see their faces. The girl keeps on crying because I think she is only 10 years old. The man who is carrying her put her on the table between the men who are waiting for her. She is like meat who is just dropped on the table for the hungry lions. I saw bottles of beer and brandy and boxes of cigarettes and a small tube. I don’t know what is that for and a white crystalline powder.
There’s an oblong-shaped pool beside them and loud music. I think they are having a party. They shout too but the neighbors will not hear them because of their loud music. They are all high and wild. While the girl is crying, scared at the top of the table. She looked at me and begged me…
“Help me, please”
I want to run to her, to help her but I can’t move. Seems like I was glued to the floor and I was forced to lift my feet but I can’t, and I felt like crying because I already know what they are planning to do with the girl. They start touching the girl from all over her body. Those bastards! They are sexually abusing the poor girl and I can do nothing to help her because I am stuck here. The girl looks like ten and the men sexually abusing her look like twenty and it is not just one but five of them.
How dare they abuse a child? I asked myself while my tears fell down from my cheek because I feel pity for the child and I can’t watch them abuse her but what else can I do? I am stuck here. I can’t even lift my feet.
“No, stop that please” I begged them. I hear the girl screaming and begging while crying because they are taking turns on her and I know how painful it is for her. I can feel her pain like I am the one who is on the table raped by the men who are high in meth.
“No, please” I cry but they can’t hear me and I am not even sure if they can see me. Watching them breaks my heart. I can’t stop crying like the girl. She looked at me and I shook my head and closed my eyes.
Until the crying, begging and the screaming stopped. I looked at them and I saw the girl with her shorts down and her shirt up no longer moving. Her eyes are open and still facing me. She is dead. They killed her and it is just nothing to them. POOR GIRL.
I saw the two of them carry the girl and they threw her to the pool like a dead animal and they all looked at each other and then they all looked at me. Their eyes are like a demon haunting me. Making me scared like a mouse who wants to run from the cats who want to play before it kills her.
“No” I whisper while shaking my head. I tried to lift my feet before they got near me but I couldn't. I tried again and again until I moved. I can move now while they are slowly walking to me. I slowly walk backward while looking at them. I am scared that they might rape me too after they raped and killed the helpless girl.
“STAY BACK” I commanded them while they were all staring at me like I am just a piece of meat and they want to eat me.
“No, please” I begged them even though I knew that they would not listen. I run away from them and they run after me. They follow me wherever they go and they call me by the name that I am not familiar with. The name of a girl that I don’t know. Maybe it is the name of the girl that they raped and killed and they think that it is my name too. I keep on running away from them and they keep on chasing me. I want to hide but I don’t know where because I think they know each corner of this house.
“Mom, help me,” I said. Hoping for my mom to help me because I am too scared.
“Dad” I even called my dad and Devon but I am all alone with the bad men. I know they are going to do to me what they did to the girl and I don’t want it. I will not let them because I don’t want to die just like that.
“Help,” I said while running and looking for a place to hide.
“Help!” I scream in fear while running away from them.
“Help!” I scream again but I guess nobody can hear me.
“Wake up! Irish” My mom said while waking me up. She slapped my face and I suddenly looked at her. She hugged me and her tears touched my face.
“I am sorry,” She said. I looked around and I am not in my room anymore. I am already outside the house in the next street and I am already wearing my pajamas; walking barefoot. I looked around and the bad men were gone. Only me, my mom, Nana Salve, and the boy who stopped just to watch me. Sleepwalking.
“What’s wrong?” I asked them. Still scared. Embarrassed
“You are sleepwalking,” Nana Salve answered.
“What is going on with you?” My mom asked while wiping her tears.
“You scared us,” She added while looking at me.
“I had a nightmare about a girl… she is asking for help… she is looking at me and there is a man who carries her and they… they…--” I stopped and looked at them. I don’t think they need to know about my nightmare.
“It is all just a dream,” My mom said while fixing my hair because I am sweating from walking fast up to the next street.
“Come on, let’s go home now,” She said and we walked home.
We reached home and I sat on the sofa while Nana Salve gave me a glass of water. I am so thirsty that is why I drink it all and wipe the water left on my mouth. I am dreaming and at the same time sleepwalking when I thought that they were chasing me. I don’t know what is happening to me anymore. I cannot erase the girl in my head and how the men raped and killed her. I feel so sorry for her because I didn’t help her even when I wanted to. I went to the kitchen after drinking the water that Nana Salve gave me and washed the glass and put it inside the cabinet.
“Are you alright now?” My mom asked because I know she is still worried.
“Yes, I am tired and I feel like I want to go back to sleep” I answered and she nodded. I hugged her and kissed her and she smiled.
“Good night,” I said before I walked to my room. I looked back at her because I know she is still watching me.
“Thank you and I love you,” I told her and she smiled again and nodded.
I went inside my room and washed my feet in the toilet. It is so dirty because I am not aware that I am already walking while having a nightmare. All I know is the bad men are chasing me, they want to get me to rape me, like what they did to the girl. I lay down on my bed and let the light open because I am still scared because of my nightmare. I am recalling their faces until now but I really cannot see it. I hug my pillow and take a deep breath. I feel so tired and sleepy even though I came from sleeping. I closed my eyes and I tried to sleep when I heard her laugh again. Her laugh is so near and I feel like she is connected to me. I need to know what happened to her. I will tell Devon that the girl's case in my dream is the perfect subject for our documentation.
I talked to Devon about what happened to me last night and he just laughed and told me that he already knew. I asked him how he knew it because I felt shy when he already knew about it before I told him. He said that his friends who saw me having my sleepwalk told him that my mom and Nana Salve are following me. They almost slept because I walk too fast; almost running. I couldn't look at him and he noticed that I couldn't look at him because I am not just shy but also embarrassed. I didn’t know that I would have a sleepwalk and that is totally off for me.“Hey, Don’t frown,” He said while still laughing. I don’t know if she is laughing at me or she is laughing because I sleepwalked last night and a couple of people saw me and some of them are his friends, but neither of the two is still the same. It is so embarrassing.
I don’t want to just sit here and watch him burning inside the burning car. I don’t want to watch him die. I don’t want to have another Jayvee again. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I took a deep breath because I don’t know what to do. I panic but I can’t move. My head starts to ache again while my heart starts to beat faster than normal. I don’t know what to do. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.“Devon,” I whispered. I looked at the balloon in my wrist because I cannot feel it in my wrist anymore. I looked up but it was gone and I heard the children screaming but this time it was not the scream of having fun but the scream of terror and panic. I saw the adults who’s guarding them carry the children one by one and pull them away from the burning car. Bring them somewhere safe. I heard screams from adults too.
It was early in the morning when Devon went to the house because we will go to school together. It was nice to see him waiting for me sitting on the couch while drinking the coffee that my mom made for him. It only shows that he is not mad at me and we are still friends after what happened yesterday.“Good morning, you look good today,” He said in front of my mom when he saw me getting out of my room, with my backpack.“Good morning too, handsome” I greeted him with a smile while looking at him.“Are you ready to go to school, my majesty?” He asked. I didn’t answer but I nodded. I looked at my mom to see her reaction and I blushed when I saw my mom smile at him.
Devon dropped me home after we smoked weed under the mango tree. I went inside my room so that my mom wouldn't notice that my eyes are red. I don’t want her to know that I tried to smoke weed and of course, I don’t want her to think that Devon is a bad influence; Of course, he is not. Actually after what happened a while ago in school. Smoking with Devon makes me relax and until now I feel so relaxed. I lay down on my bed and looked at the ceiling again after I untied Hello Kitty and let it roam inside my room. Anyway, my door is closed and it cannot go out. I feel stoned and lazy. I just want to lay down and do nothing when my phone vibrates and I know it’s Devon. I stand up to get my phone inside my bag and lay down on my bed again while reading his message. He is asking me to go to the playground again but I feel lazy so I said no but I invite him over instead if it’s fine with him.
We went to his friend's house, which is only four streets away from the playground. He doorbells and the woman who I think is about our age opens the door. Her short hair makes her look stunning with her dark violet lipstick that is almost black. No other make-up, only the lipstick that makes her more beautiful. Her black t-shirt and crystal necklace and bracelet make her look powerful like there’s something in her that can raise energy.“Luna,” Devon said, makes him excited to see his old friend again.“Oh bro, it’s been a long time,” Luna said and they hugged each other as their greeting and Luna looked at me.“Girlfriend?” She asked Devon, which makes Devon smile and blush.
I took the piece of paper inside my pocket that Luna gave me and read it one by one. It says there that in order for me to find the truth I need to clear my mind first from negativity such as hatred, anger, and pain. I need to surrender it to the Divine and have a deep connection with the Divine. Through it, the purity will flow and the truth will prevail. I need to face the past that gives me a burden and heavy load. I need to accept the fact that it is already in the past for me to give forgiveness and after all of this. I will free myself from the heavy loads that I am carrying. The pain will go away, the hatred, the fear, and all the negativity that is blocking my way to tranquility. Through this. I will have peace of mind and forgiveness in me. I can face the girl freely without fear and I can help her, solve her case and she won't bother me anymore. Including the others that are haunting me.
“Angel, wake up” I heard a familiar voice waking me up. I feel the coldness of his hand when he touches my face. I slowly opened my eyes to see who it was. At first, my eyesight was blurry but when it got clear. I saw Jayvee sitting in front of me with a smile. Waiting for me to wake up. My eyes grew wide when I saw him. In an instant, I stood up and hugged him because I miss him so much.“I miss you,” I said and I cried a tear of joy that Jayvee is back. He is here now in front of me and I can hug him.“I didn’t go anywhere,” He said with a smile. His smile, his haircut, his looks didn’t change. He is the Jayvee that I’ve known. He is my heaven; the man that I love and will marry someday and he is back and I can’t describe the happiness that I can feel right now.
“Who is the murderer now?”“Who is the murderer now?”“Who is the murderer now?”“BLAGAG!I fell from my bed and woke up while the question that I heard in my head slowly disappeared when I woke up. I am inside my room because I fell on the floor near my window. My back hurts and my hips too. I gently massage it to ease the pain from falling. I can still feel the coldness of my room because the aircon is still on. I suddenly remembered what happened last night. I don’t know if it is just my dream or it is real. I looked at my hands to see if I had blood stains but the good thing is that I don’t hav