YSABELLE
‘WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE?’
Those words crushed my heart and soul. It was beyond painful. It was as if a big car passed over my whole body again and again due to the extreme pain I was feeling. But I didn't say anything and tried to smile.
I forced myself to stand even though my whole body was going limp from his painful words.
Was that what Ronan really wished for me? I don't know anymore. I wanted to think that he was just tired from work, and then I added to his headache.
He only stared at me. Rage was evident through his eyes until he looked away himself.
I immediately left the kitchen until I reached the gate, walking under the full moon alone but not knowing where I was really going.
I wanted to cry from the pain inside, but no tears came out of my eyes. As if they are also scared to be noticed by anyone and think I'm too pitiful by crying alone while bracing for the pain.
And this is the painful cry of all. I can not express the pain I'm feeling through tears. By the end, I'm crying inside, shattered, and broken. By holding it in my heart, it was so damn heavy to feel, yet I don't know how to let the heaviness go.
I sat on the swing while gazing at the fewer children playing around. But then, I caught a glance of a woman and man who just arrived, carrying a child in a man's arms.
They look happy, and I believe they are in a happy marriage.
I suddenly felt envious.
I thought after our first night… he would change and treat me nicer.
But why do I feel that he didn't even remember that he claimed me that night?
Was giving in to his needs a huge mistake?
My breath trembles as I remember his raging voice echoed in every corner of the room earlier.
He wished me to die so that I could finally leave him alone. But I swore that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Tears slowly fell from my eyes. These painful tears have been killing me inside all those years I've been with him.
I'm not crying because of those painful words, but because for every hurtful word that Ronan said, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Because I knew from the start, it was only a one-sided love.
This marriage was forced.
We did not tie the knot because we wished to be with each other.
Ronan’s father was the only reason why we were married. My father served his family with loyalty. When our father lost their life because of the car accident, it was in his father's will to marry me and he would inherit all the assets that his father had left.
I gave up college and my dream to become a housewife. It’s my mother-in-law’s wish to make me focus on taking care of Ronan. Well, being the wife of Ronan is one of my dreams too. But I didn't expect it would turn out like this.
This one-sided feeling was killing me inside.
***
Days have passed, and Ronan continued giving me a cold treatment. Well, it's always been like that. He's always been cold to me throughout our marriage.
But today is no different day. It's his birthday and tomorrow is mine. Yes, We almost have the same birthday, but I'm still glad that we are only a second apart.
Last year, he was in Paris for a business meeting. I was hoping he would celebrate his special day with me.
I spent my whole day helping the servants in cleaning the house and garden. Before dinner came, I made sure to grocery and cook Ronan's favorite food for dinner.
I was about to leave the grocery mall when I spotted a cake shop.
How can I forget the cake?
I was torn between chocolate and strawberry cake. I'm allergic to strawberries, but it's Ronan’s favorite. In the end, I bought the strawberry cake.
I became busy preparing our dinner and cooking my husband's favorite foods.
After cooking, I prepared the table as if we were in an expensive restaurant. It was so beautiful and elegant to look at. The vibe feels like I'm on a date.
Ronan and I never dated. We never hang out together outside the house. But it didn't matter to me.
I waited for Ronan to come home but it was almost 10 pm. I keep glancing at my wristwatch and at the gate while waiting for him at the front door.
I'm hesitant to call him because I never did before. He never likes me calling him and asking where he is. He will get mad if I ever do that. I don't want him to be mad at me every night.
What if something bad happened to him?
I immediately brushed off those thoughts in my head. I shouldn't be thinking like that.
My phone suddenly went off. Damn, I forgot to charge it. I rushed upstairs to look for my charger but I couldn't find it. Instead, I look for Ronan's charger in his room.
I know he will be mad that I touched his stuff, but I will leave when he arrives.
However, as soon as I opened the cabinet, I saw the familiar unopened gifts.
He didn't even touch it.
Those were my gifts from last year. My gifts for our wedding anniversary, his birthday, Christmas, and New Year. I bought those gifts, but Ronan didn't make any effort to open any of them.
A pain flashed through my chest, so I immediately closed the cabinet. I was about to leave the room because I couldn't find any charger when something caught my attention. I came to the edge of the bed and took it.
“Fortieth Company Anniversary?”
It's an invitation card.
Ronan was invited to an exclusive party, and it seems he needed this invitation card to get in.
Even though Ronan was known for being the most powerful in the business industry, few people knew I was his wife. Mother-in-law doesn't want to publish my face all over the world, that I'm Belle Volkov, Ronan’s wife, just because of my background.
I shoved those sad thoughts in my head and immediately dressed up. As I arrived at the venue, I saw him standing near the door with a blond woman. She's clinging to his arm like a lover of Ronan wearing a smile on both faces.
Ronan is smiling. He looks happy while exchanging words with the woman.
I couldn't remember the last time I saw him smiling like that.
A familiar pain surrounded my heart again as I continued staring at them both, looking so loved by each other. It's painful to look at them, but I couldn't take my eyes off of them.
Is she Candice?
When Ronan met my eyes, I turned around and was about to leave. I hailed a cab but someone suddenly held my arm.
YSABELLE“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Ronan firmly shouted at me.I was slightly surprised when he shouted, but still, my smile didn't disappear from my lips.Good thing there aren't too many people around. If there are, it's pretty far from where we are.“I came here just to bring you the invitation,” I answered calmly and showed him the invitation card I was carrying all along. “I thought… I thought you can't come in without it.”His jaw clenched in rage. “Really? Is that really your reason? Don't make me a fool, Belle!” I saw how his veins almost erupted from his neck as his gaze darkened at me. “I'm not an idiot like you to believe your lame reasons! You came here to embarrass me!!”My fingers tightly grasp the card as I'm trying to hold back the tears. I was nothing but a burden and a pest in his life.I tried to reach his hand but he moved it away. “N-No, Ronan, it isn't like that–”He suddenly grabbed my arm and took me to the corner where no one could see us or hear us.
YSABELLEMy whole body trembles as I stare at the woman who smirks as if enjoying someone seeing her naked. Or she's enjoying it because I'm the one who's seen them both.My swollen eyes welled up with tears… again.“Can't you knock?!”I flinched and awoke at Ronan’s shout, loud and firm.He was now wearing his trousers while the woman remained on the bed, having a good life. Isn't she ashamed of what she did? I was baffled by how brave she was for sleeping with a married man.“W-Why is she h-here?” My voice cracks as I try to get all the courage I have in my throat. “I'm sorry for not introducing myself first thing in the morning.” She smirks. “I'm Candice… Ronan's ex.” She said confidently.Ex? His ex? “She's going to live here… with my son.” He casually said as if he didn't care how I reacted to his actions and words.Tears streamed down painfully in my eyes as I replayed his words in my head.“Y-Your son?” I said almost a whisper.What son? Is she pregnant– I suddenly heard a cr
YSABELLE The sun was almost completely hidden by those towering skyscrapers when I arrived in New York. I let out a deep breath as I descended the stairs from my biological father's private airplane. I left the US five years ago, but I'm returning today because my father urged me to. I need to close a deal with a Russian in a US state. In order to avoid running into the people I vowed never to see again, I have to close the deal in one swift. Five years. Even though five years had passed, the pain was still lingering inside of me when I felt the breeze of New York. Enough, Ysabelle! Give up dwelling on the past! I chastised myself. This is what I hate the most about coming back here but I don't have any choice because of my father. I need to get over this as early as I can. On the day when I was divorced, my real parents showed up. After receiving a billion dollars from my biological parents, my adopted mother must be living a happy life now and left unnoticed. I'm now Ysabell
YSABELLE Those ocean-blue eyes darted into mine, making my heart pinch in pain. His painful words back then, five years ago, echoed in my head. ‘I DON’T FUCKING LOVE YOU!’ That was the most memorable and yet, painful one I've heard from him. Despite all the words he throws at me, slapping me on the reality that he doesn't love me was the hell part. Candice and his son were only the bonus pain he created that turned into a scar in my heart. My chest twisted in pain again as the back of my eyes started to warm. No! I shouldn't give him a hint that I'm weak, that I'm losing my composure every time I see him, that I'm still in pain despite those years passing swiftly. I turned to Mr. Ivanov to divert my attention. I saw how he suddenly felt uncomfortable with a fake smile. Does he not know that he's my ex-husband? “Uhmm, Ms. Cortez, I'm sorry to say but I'm actually having a meeting with Mr. Volkov.” Anger surges in me. “Then why did you agree tonight, Mr. Ivanov?” I don't w
YSABELLE As soon as I heard the door locked, I suddenly felt nervous because Ronan was the first thing I saw when I turned around. My throat became dry, my inside trembled in fury, and my legs were giving in. I immediately grabbed the railings of the stairs as I stepped back away from Ronan. His scent was invading my nostrils and I don't like this old feeling escalating inside my chest. “What the hell are you doing?!” I firmly scowled. “Reminding you to not go in my way.” He said with full composure. He didn't even flinch when I raised my voice. He didn't even feel remorseful after what he had done to me. He didn't even sound sorry after seeing me again. He looks calm and, as usual, full of himself. I scoffed as his words sank in my head. “You can't control me anymore, Ronan!” I pushed him with all my strength but he only took hold of my wrist. The moment I felt his warmth, slowly merging with mine, my heart began to thump violently. This is not good. “Hearing my name
YSABELLE Two days… Two days have passed since Ronan messed with my mind and heart again. And it's been two nights that I couldn't sleep and eat properly because of that jerk. He's really a trouble in my life and I wasted a lot of tears and energy because of his jokes. Chance? Was he asking for another chance? What about Candice and his son? Is he nuts or just playing tricks with me again? For what? For his own entertainment! “Damn you, Ronan!” I yelled at my reflection in the mirror with a wet face. I hate to say it but he's all I think for the past two days and night. He caused me another trouble at the very last minute. A knock on the door woke me up from torturing Ronan’s face in my head. I hope I can also do it in real life. “Ms. Cortez, the rescheduled meeting with Mr. Ivanov is 1 pm–” “Tell him I'm only free this morning.” I need to finish my task here swiftly. I need to get the deal before I encounter Ronan again. I didn't know New York was this small for both of us
RONAN “Get it done.” I ended the call, and rage was still lingering inside of my chest. If I didn't purposely drop my phone in her bag, I wouldn't know where she is and what she is up to. My hand curled into a fist as I remembered how Mr. Ivanov looked at her with those suspicious eyes. But this woman didn't have any sense that danger was right in front of her. Is she that eager to get Mr. Ivanov’s partnership? I looked carefully at the bruises on Belle's wrists. It's still red and has wounds from the nails of that bastard. My jaw clenched as rage resurfaces again. That fucking asshole touched my Belle. He has the guts after knowing she's my ex-wife. Messing with what belongs to me… will definitely meet hell. I just ruined his face and fed him all the drugs he was hiding in his drawer causing him to overdose and pass out. I really want to curse George Cortez for throwing his own daughter in this trap. I know that he knew what Mr. Ivanov’s real personality was. I'm not real
YSABELLE My head was still pounding when I sprinted to the ladies' room, but my heart went crazy when Ronan snatched my phone while Ash was calling. I felt so nervous as I stared at Ronan and the phone, praying that he wouldn't answer the call. Ash has indeed left me 16 missed calls. However, the call I was expecting was not on my list. Father didn't even call me once. Does he really know about Mr. Ivanov’s true intention? No… that couldn't be true. Ronan was just spouting nonsense. I groan in pain out of frustration. Ronan added to the pain in my head. Just then, I remember what happened in Mr. Ivanov’s hotel room. That bastard! He drugged and thought of raping me. My hand began to tremble in fear as that asshole's face flashed through my mind. I splashed my face with cold water and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Thankfully, I'm safe… I'm safe. That's what all matters. By the way, where's Paul? I dialed Paul's number but it only rings. I tidy up myself before l