¡QUIERO VIVIR ESTE AMOR!

Alana

He can't even speak, we're interrupted by laughter and screams coming from the hallway, and I recognize it very well, they're my friends, they come into the room and look at us in a very accusing way. Edu, as always, in a not discreet way and without any caution with words.

— What are you guys doing here alone? — Are you already wanting to open the room, and with Raúl?

Edu and Babi express a cynical smile on their faces, I particularly want to kill them. Meanwhile, Raúl and I were extremely embarrassed by what my friend said, I look indignant and come to our defense.

— Edward! What a dull joke, it's been a while since we've seen each other, and this is how you welcome me?

— Oh, friend... I was just kidding, Raúl knows it's a joke, doesn't he Raúl?

— It's all right! Alana, I'll make you comfortable with your friends...

— But you had something important to say to me and...

— Tomorrow... Uh... I'll call you!

He doesn't say anything else, smiles, hugs me and leaves. I don't understand, he said he had something important to tell me and he leaves like that? It definitely bothers me. As soon as he leaves, Edu and Babi ask me.

— Guys, but what did he want to tell you? — Did he want to declare himself? — insinuates Ed.

— Surely he wanted to declare himself to you and was embarrassed by what Edu said! — Said Babi.

— Oh, people! You know that for a moment I also thought that Raúl was flirting with me...

— Alana, he doesn't want to flirt, Raúl wants something more... I've been saying this for a long time, even when you were in Brazil, Raúl would call me or Babi wanting to know about you, because you didn't answer the phone, is not? He says, and I just roll my eyes at his comment.

— Leave Lana alone, her and her reasons for leaving! — Babi comes to my defense.

— It's okay, but when he calls you “MI CARIÑO” I don't know about you, but if he called me that, I'd have an easy, easy orgasm...

— How awful, Ed!

I can't say anything else, I burst out laughing, I'm infected by Babi who was completely red with laughter. He also bursts out laughing and comes towards me, hugged me, returned the hug, and I confess that I was missing him, or rather, both. Babi throws himself around us and we give a big collective hug. We hugged each other affectionately. Edu lets go of the hug, and says one of his many jokes.

— Oh, it's good enough! You are trying to convert me, you know very well that I don't like women… — he uttered and burst out laughing.

[...]

I get out of the bathtub and wrap my body in a robe, stop in front of the mirror, and observe my image reflected there. I look at every detail of my face, my black eyes, my thick eyebrow, and my upturned nose that make up my face, apparently tired. I bring my hand up to my long hair, which is tied back, and let it go . My fingers run freely between the strands, and my mind takes me to Dani, his girlfriend, and if there's any chance he's interested in me, sees me, finds me attractive.

Deep breath. I feel defeated. What should I do from now on? My thoughts wander, and I'm snapped out of these reveries when I hear someone knock on the door. I open it, and I find the owner of my thoughts, he opens a big smile at me and asks me:

— I can enter?

— Clear.

He enters the room, sits on my bed, pats his side for me to sit down. I do as he asks, and then he hugs me sideways, kisses my head.

— I missed you so much!

— Me too.

— Did you like your room? It was decorated with you in mind...

— I just don't understand why the white... References to Real Desportivo de Madrid?

— You cute little girl, of course not!

— That's right! I wanted to ask you something... Don't you think Raúl looks weird? — I ask him in order to tell me something to get out of my head, that strange thought.

— It's your impression, he's just a little tired, he had a very intense training day, but I thought you were strange in relation to Isabella, it seems you didn't like her very much!

Of course I didn't like her, you idiot! I'm in love with you, how can I be happy to see you with a girl other than me? That would be my real answer, but since I don't have the courage to do so...

— I don't even know her well enough to know whether or not I liked her. I'm just tired from the trip, I couldn't sleep during the flight, and when I got home thinking I was going to rest, you guys prepared a party for me, and you still want me to be in a good mood? Please be patient, Dani!

He looks at me, and apologizes for not thinking I might be tired, then leaves my room. As soon as he leaves, I think about everything that is happening, and how I should act from now on, because I'm sure I can't go on like this, but how can I declare myself to him, if he's dating, and in love with someone else?

 Raúl

  

— I don't understand why you didn't say anything, if you were so determined yesterday afternoon, you left here saying you would talk to her and...

— I know Tomás, but the moment I had the courage to talk to Alana, her friends invaded the room for good, what could I do at that moment? — I run on the treadmill while I talk to Tomás about Alana's welcome party.

My friend's speech is completely understandable, as I decided, days before she returned to Madrid, that I would speak. I was willing to expose what I feel, this feeling has been around in my mind and heart for a while, but I never had the courage to admit that I'm in love with my friend's sister. Before she left for Brazil, I was willing to confess, but I didn't have the courage to do it, and I spent these two years dedicating myself to my career, I met some girls, but I never had a serious relationship with anyone, but now I'm decided, I'll confess and invest in that feeling, even if Dani doesn't agree, I'm willing to do anything for Alana.

I'm so distracted, thinking about all this, that I don't pay much attention to what Tomás continues to say, I just tune out my thoughts when he approaches and snaps his fingers in front of my eyes.

— Dude, are you still here? I've been talking to you for a few minutes, and you're not answering me!

— Sorry! I was far...

— Wow, if you didn't talk, I wouldn't even have noticed!

— Stop being silly, Tomas!

— The coach's assistant came here to say that training on the field is only after lunch...

— After lunch? I ask and turn off the treadmill. — He doesn't get tired, training yesterday was exhausting, he said that today would be at the gym!

— Are you feeling bad, defender?

I look in the direction of the voice that has a perverted tone to the question, which I don't like. Coming from my left side, I observe that mocking smile, along with his analysis look at me, is Pedro, one of the defenders who is in the reserve. Before they hired me, he was a starter, he wasn't performing as expected. When I got here I worked hard, and I managed to get his spot on the team, he became my reserve. It bothers you too much.

— No, Peter! Why would I? — I answer and head towards the door, which is next to the other training equipment.

— You must be tired, after all, your attacking friend's sister must have given you a hard time, right?

— What are you talking about?

— Alana, that's her name, isn't it?

— Listen, I don't owe you the satisfaction of my life, I think you better stop saying what you don't know… — I say and turn to go on my way with Tomás.

— You know, Raúl, I've been looking at some photos, she's very hot, it remains to be seen if after a day of training, you can handle a...

I didn't let him finish, I go towards him to punch his scrotum face, but Tomás holds me back. The wretch passes me, looking at me with that cynical smile plastered on his face, my friend continues to hold me.

— Raúl, control yourself! It's not worth fighting with him, he's angry because he lost the title to you...

Thomas is right. It's no use fighting, he just wants reasons for me to return to the reserve, although Pedro didn't yield anything, but for my coach, the team should be at peace, and if I start to fight back his provocations , I'll be bringing discord and relationship problems for our daily lives. So, I would stay out of the team, and I won't be able to think about that possibility, it's the year of the World Cup, I need to show my football, being called up is my biggest dream. However, something starts to take my peace, it's not Pedro. Alana with her sweet smile, her penetrating look, her beautiful curves, and all this takes my concentration, I can't go on like this, before I go crazy, I need to declare myself, because, if it's possible, I want to live this love!