Getting closer to the end

So it's two months to Anastasia's birthday, it's also two months to my parents death anniversary, and it's also two months to Desdemona's death anniversary too, and trust me Diego is in the worse state I've ever seen him since I've known him.

It's been a month now since Anastasia and I blame myself every day and night for it.

Diego has been falling apart, he's been drinking.

Martins tried to stop him, but then he realized the amount of emotional and psychological pain Diego is going through so he allowed him to at least ease off the pain a little.

But that didn't help, it only weakened him more and it has ruined him.

Looking at him everyday waking up to the same old news over and over again when I know that all this could end if I just die...it breaks me.

I'm the reason most of this is happening, it's my fault, it has always been and it will always be.

I don't know how it happened, but I find myself standing right in front of him room door knocking.

I don't wait for a response, I just