39. Chapter

Everything is so different now, that the outcome will also be that way. My heart beats over and over again, beats hard and I feel like it's going to escape my chest.

The search leads me to be with him in bitter silence, which is only a moment because of the touching of my memory of memories that pile up and form a tower of pain. Yes, it hurts to think about them that way, as if I were trying to say goodbye to those beautiful moments that we have shared, because even though Alek is a dangerous, hard person and often keeps his feelings to himself, he has shown me that he feels and that may love. He has made known the sweet and loving side of him, I greatly appreciate the effort, what he has given me, such as the wonderful opportunity to become a mother, my son is my greatest gift. I bring to my mind his birth, his first year of age, Matthew is what drives me to fight even in the most horrible moments, like this, the problem is that the terribleness of this and its intensity is overcomin