25: They are here

Have you ever been in a situation where you are mad at the whole world? You feel like the whole world is against you, feel so helpless to do anything while someone controls you here and there, you'll only just get to watch and bear the ache? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now. I was hungry, tired, my eyes are swollen from crying, my hands were aching from being bound like a slave, and to top it all, I'm being punished for something I have no control over. Is it my fault for being the way I am? For being an addict? I'm tired of having controlling men in my life, first my stepdad, Knox, and now, Rakel? I've heard enough! I can't let this continue, or I might lose my mind in here. I stayed bounded till it was mid-afternoon while going over many things in my head at the same time. First, I went over what happened between us this morning and last night, how Rakel reacted to everything. I realize all Rakel cares about for me to obey his rules then wait for Knox mark to wear off, so