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Crazy

You know that empty feeling?, when you feel total numbness, when you feel like everything is never gonna be okay?.

That is how I feel right now.

I felt used, dirty, in pain and broken. I felt like my world had been shattered under my feet. I felt like I was brought to earth to suffer.

The pain it caused me and yet I don't know why he was doing this. I didn't know why he wanted me tortured and then kill me afterwards.

I didn't want to die now, I wanted to tell Zavi that I love him, I wanted to feel loved by him too. I can't just leave without appreciating the first man that I had fallen in love with, even if he doesn't love me back, my love for him is more than enough.

Those men didn't rape me yet, when I woke up, Luciano asked them to beat me. They beat me until all I felt was a numb sensation of blood falling from every pore.

I was glad that I was not raped yet, they'd rather beat me than rape me.

I am scared, so very scared. I've never felt so scared in my life, the idea of bei
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