Chapter 38

My eyes followed him everywhere now and I know he noticed and it irritated him but oddly enough, I loved that he was irritated with me. As weird and stupid as it sounds, I was desperate for any form of attention at all from that man so I grasped whatever he gave me.

I wonder if it was because of things like this boys avoided fucking virgins. It probably wasn’t the same with all the girls. I even thought I would not cling to my first but here I was clinging to every little thing he does.

I haven’t been able to do anything at all because my mind has been clouded with thoughts of him. When I opened my eyes, I saw him in places he wasn’t and he was always waiting for me whenever I tried to close my eyes and I was not complaining.

My heart had been breaking as much as my heart had been racing. The girls he brought home these days had increased in number as it had started ever since that night. It was as though he was trying to wipe the existence of that night.

Though the girls left in