04 Desperate Times

Emily,

The disappointment etched on the faces of my pack members as they left my house after the protest was a haunting image that lingered in my mind. Their eyes bore a sense of hopelessness, mirroring the despair I felt deep within. Restlessness consumed me as I tossed and turned throughout the night, the weight of unanswered questions swirling in my mind, overwhelming me with the fear of failure.

I clutched my pillow tightly, tears streaming down my face. Anger, betrayal, and confusion waged a relentless war within me, making it impossible to find solace or sleep. Hours of torment passed before I finally mustered the strength to rise from the bed, desperate to calm my frayed nerves.

Navigating the darkness of our unlit home, I lit a candle to guide my path. As I extended my trembling hand holding the flickering candlelight, memories of Jake and me together flooded back, and a chilling gust of wind swept through me, a stark reminder that I was now alone.

The tears had ceased, but a constant ache of anger and despair remained. I knew deep down that this feeling would never truly dissipate. 

Making my way to the kitchen counter, I sought solace in a drink. Fortunately, a bottle of dry gin awaited me. 

There was no need for pretence or extravagance; all I needed was a semblance of peace, and the gin would offer me just that. I uncorked the bottle, taking swig after swig until a hazy lightheadedness washed over me. At that moment, my inhibitions began to fade away.

Stepping out of the house, I surveyed the remnants of our pack, a mere shadow of its former self. A voice reminiscent of my father's, echoed in my head, questioning how I had allowed it to come to this. I knew it was merely my guilt haunting me, but the question held weight. How had I let things spiral out of control?

"You were right, Papa," I whispered, sinking to my knees on the porch, overwhelmed by a profound sense of helplessness. 

"He ran us into the ground. I am sorry, Papa. I am sorry. I will fix it. I promise." I vowed to myself that I would rectify the mess brought upon us by my naivety and trusting heart, regardless of whether Jake had run away, completed his con, or had been abducted. 

My needs would have to take a backseat as I wholeheartedly focused on the welfare of the pack. I pledged to give it my all at the alpha summit, doing whatever it took to rescue my people from the abyss they faced.

Exhaustion claimed me, and I fell asleep on the porch, unaware of my surroundings until strong arms scooped me up and carried me inside. My eyes fluttered open, and Jake's name involuntarily escaped my lips, only to be met with the reassuring voice of my brother, David.

"No, big sis, it's David," he soothed, placing me gently on the couch before disappearing into the kitchen. He returned moments later, a cup of hot chocolate in hand. I managed to sit up, my head throbbing from a combination of alcohol and sleep deprivation. It was a miracle I hadn't succumbed to illness yet, but I knew that if I continued down this path, I would soon reach my breaking point.

Handing me painkillers, David urged me to take them. 

"Coffee?" I requested, but he shook his head, his concern etched on his face. 

"Tomorrow is the summit. You must look your best and gather your strength. Sleep all day if you must. It won't be easy to convince them, but I have faith in you." His words resonated within me as I glanced at my brother, noticing the toll this ordeal had taken on him as well. We were in this together.

Swallowing the painkillers, I decided to retreat to my bedroom. 

The medication seemed more potent than regular pain relief, as I swiftly succumbed to sleep minutes after lying down. 

I didn't stir until the evening, feeling refreshed and rejuvenated as I made my way to the living room, where laughter filled the air. It was a balm for my soul amidst the prevailing gloom that had enveloped us. Pausing on the stairs, I savoured the sound of their joy, relishing in the warmth it brought, even if it wasn't my own.

Finally descending the stairs, their conversation abruptly halted. 

"Please, don't let me interrupt," I implored, urging them to continue. Luis and Claus greeted me, their expressions revealing that something incredible had transpired.

"The land sale went through, and the electricity will return today," Claus exclaimed, his voice filled with hope. 

"We've managed to acquire improved seedlings, and we've even paid for medications for our clinics. Things are looking up, Luna." His words brought a glimmer of happiness to my heart, even though it didn't fully reach my eyes. 

This was merely a band-aid on the wound. Without timely assistance, we would inevitably sink back into the abyss we so desperately tried to escape.

We celebrated briefly, rehearsing our approach for the upcoming summit. 

David cautioned me about the resistance I would likely face as a woman and a non-alpha, but I was prepared to withstand the insults and discrimination in order to be heard and to secure the help we so desperately needed. 

He also emphasised that this was our one shot, as the summit only occurred twice a year, and the first one had already passed. 

If I failed to make a lasting impression and secure the necessary assistance, we would be left waiting until the next year. 

Considering the dire circumstances we faced, I knew our pack couldn't endure that long. It was now or never.

Nervousness gripped me as I retired to bed that night. I fervently prayed for favour at the summit and for help to finally arrive. I was willing to do anything, sacrifice anything, for the survival of my people. The weight of their lives rested heavily on my shoulders.

The following day, David and I prepared ourselves and set out for Tarula, a bustling city near our territory. 

It was the hub of significant business activities, the most developed part of our country, and home to influential alphas who were known for their ruthlessness and self-interest. The alpha hosting the summit was Alpha Simpson of the Gators wolf pack, a young man rumoured to be an arrogant and callous leader who had recently inherited his position from his father. 

I refused to be intimidated by his reputation or the potential for rejection. 

I clung to the hope that I would have the opportunity to present my case before him and the other alphas. I had meticulously written down every point I needed to address, hoping that it would sway them to take action in my favour.

Arriving at Gators Wolf pack, the hall where the summit was being held, I marvelled at its grandeur, reminiscent of the glory days of our pack. 

There was a time when I would have boasted about our wealth and resources, believing that we surpassed these other packs. However, Jake's reckless actions had squandered it all. I pushed thoughts of him aside, determined to focus on the task at hand.

David and I proceeded to the registration area to obtain our numbers, which would designate our speaking order. 

As we approached, the registrar's gaze fell upon David, prepared to record his pack and name. With a firm voice, David interjected, 

"Actually, I am Beta David. My Luna will be addressing the summit today." David said, and the registrar paused, his routine interrupted by David's statement.

"I'm sorry, but that's not allowed. Only alphas can speak at the summit," the registrar responded dismissively, ready to move on. David was about to protest when I intervened, looking the registrar in the eye.

"I am well aware of the rules, sir, and I understand that you're just doing your job. But I implore you, please allow me to speak. The lives of over a thousand people depend on it. I won't be here if my husband were present, but he has been missing for two months. I'm simply doing my best to ensure the survival of my pack. Please, sir, register me to speak," I pleaded, tears welling up in my eyes, my voice trembling.

"They won't see you if they know you're a woman," the registrar retorted, acknowledging the inherent limitations placed on women in such gatherings.

"Please, sir, register me under my pack. They won't know I'm a woman until I stand before them. I will do everything in my power to persuade them to let me speak. You can deny any knowledge of my gender and present me as the alpha," I beseeched him, my desperation palpable. 

The registrar hesitated for a moment, studying my face, before finally nodding. 

He swiftly scribbled my name next to the number eleven, designating me as the eleventh speaker. I silently prayed that it would all be worth it.

David and I settled in the waiting room, where I anxiously rehearsed my points, my nerves threatening to overwhelm me. As the numbers were called, each bearer took their turn to speak. People cast strange looks in our direction, but I refused to let their judgment affect me. Clutching David's hand tightly, I waited for my turn, my heart pounding in my chest.

When my number was called, a swarm of butterflies erupted in my stomach. Nausea threatened to consume me, but David guided me through breathing exercises to regain composure. Stepping into the corridor that led to the hall, I reached for the doorknob, clutching my papers tightly, taking a deep breath before stepping forward.

I kept my gaze lowered, fixated on the microphone in the centre of the hall. I navigated my way quickly, the murmurings of the crowd filling my ears. Once I reached the microphone, I positioned it in front of my lips and unfolded the paper, preparing to recite my carefully crafted lines.

"What is the meaning of this? Where is your alpha?" an angry voice boomed, breaking the silence. I resisted the urge to look up, focusing on the first line of my speech.

"Who allowed this woman in here?" others inquired, their voices tinged with anger. I knew I had to speak swiftly before they ejected me from the premises.

"My husband is missing," I announced, my voice resounding through the hall. The room fell silent, and I dared to lift my head, making eye contact with the sea of alphas before me. Determined to speak from my heart, I let go of the script.

"He disappeared two months ago, and we haven't heard from him since. But that is not why I'm here," I continued, my voice unwavering despite the tension in the room. "My pack is in dire need of help and leadership."

Before I could proceed, another interruption ensued. 

"Did your alpha not think to leave things in order?" a voice sneered. I shook my head, refusing to let their disdain deter me.

"It was my father's pack," I responded, gathering my emotions and bracing myself for what came next.

 "We are struggling," I pleaded, only to be cut off once again.

"We don't run a charity here, woman. If you can't fix your mess, then too bad," a dismissive voice declared. 

The paper in my hand trembled, my last hope of turning things around slipping through my fingers. They wouldn't even allow me to speak, to present my case. Tears welled up in my eyes as I desperately implored them.

"Please, hear me out," I managed to choke out between sobs, but they adamantly refused. They had no desire to listen, to lend a helping hand.

"Next!" a voice barked, signalling the end of my time. 

I glanced up at the faces that had denied me their attention and couldn't help but wonder why. 

All I sought was help, a chance to break free from the cycle of despair. When had our world grown so cold, so indifferent to the pleas of others? My tear-streaked gaze swept across the room, silently asking them why. I longed for a glimmer of warmth and compassion, but instead, I found rejection.

Wiping away my tears, I mustered what little strength I had left and left the hall. My hands still shook from the encounter, the weight of my disappointment heavy upon my shoulders. But just as I thought all hope was lost, a voice called out to me.

"Madam, madam," a voice called, causing me to pause. 

I turned to see the source, my burdened heart yearning for a glimmer of possibility. 

The man who approached me had dark hair and piercing blue eyes, his stature exuding confidence. He, too, was a beta, like me. His confidence indicated his alpha was powerful, and it piqued my curiosity. I couldn't help but wonder if his alpha was one of the individuals Jake had wronged.

"I don't have money," I blurted out, assuming he sought something from me. But he shook his head, dispelling my fears.

"Alpha Kane of Shadow Moon Pack has extended an invitation to you. He is willing to hear your troubles tomorrow at our territory," he offered, extending a business card to me. I accepted it, stunned into silence. Shadow Moon was a quiet pack, and its alpha rarely involved himself in the affairs of others.

"Call me to inform me when you're coming," the beta instructed before departing. 

A glimmer of hope flickered within me. Perhaps all was not lost. In my current circumstances, I was willing to agree to anything if it meant the survival of my pack. I eagerly anticipated meeting Alpha Kane, hoping that he held the key to our salvation.