For the next few days, everything was normal. Rai was himself, though he never let me go no matter what. And Damian was Damian, joking around and smirking. Seemed like he had buried his feelings for me too. I knew my feelings for Damian would fade away with time, at least I hoped so.
I noticed that Rai seldom ate his food, which worried me.
“Damian, is Rai really alright? He seldom eats. He looks pale and is skinnier now. Should I be worried?” I asked Damian with worried.
“He’s just tired, Baby girl. You know that he’s busy right? Always talking on the phone. I guess it stresses him out.” Damian pulled me close and kissed my forehead.
Being in Damian’s arms really was comforting, especially when I was worried about Rai. I just sighed and tried to believe that nothing was wrong with Rai.
***
We were having our lunch when Nat showed up with a huge p
What did I just say? I just told him that I love him too! What have I done? How could I say those words? And why did he say those words out of a sudden? He had never declared his feelings for me anymore, so why? “I know, Baby girl.” Damian smiled softly at me before straightening up to grab the picture. “This is quite big, isn’t it?” He grinned at Nat. I looked at Nat while still clasping my own mouth with my hands, horrified at myself. I didn’t want Nat to know that I was in love with Damian too. Even though she told me that it was okay to love them both at the same time, it was still unacceptable. Nat just grinned at me and went to Damian. They discussed where to hang the photo while I sat there feeling guilty. I had promised Rai and myself not to hurt Rai anymore, yet those words just came out of my mouth so naturally that they scared me. I had promised not to act on my feelings! Why could
We spent the next few days happily, normal. Rai was able to join us more, though he was still sleeping a lot. Rai kept hugging me, and Damian sometimes told me he loved me when he thought Rai was not looking. I couldn’t say I loved him too, as I didn’t want to hurt Rai anymore. Damian seemed to understand as he never asked me about my feelings. One day, as we were watching tv, me in-between Rai and Damian, Rai asked me if I wanted to live someplace else, not Indonesia. Of course I said yes. I wanted to live in Melbourne. “Why Melbourne, Princess? Why not Paris or any other place?” he asked curiously. “Hmmm.. You know I spent a few years in Melbourne, right?” I asked both Rai and Damian. Both of them nodded. “I just love the city. It is slow-paced, the people are friendly, and I love it during springtime; not too cold for me.
“Arghh!!!” One night I woke up to the sound of Rai screaming. I woke up and turned on the night lamp so fast, so I could see what was wrong with him. “Rai, Rai.. Wake up.. You are having a nightmare." I touched his body, shaking it gently so he would wake up. “Arghh!!!" He screamed again. “Rai, please wake up. I’m here, Rai. You are having a bad dream.” I shook his body again. Instead of waking up, he hugged his own body and whimpered. He kept whimpering, and I became frantic. He looked like he was in pain, physical pain. “Rai.. Rai.. What’s wrong? Please tell me what’s wrong.” I kept shaking his body, but he still didn’t open his eyes. “Rai, I’m here.. Please tell me what’s wrong. Don’t make me scared. Please...” By now, I was crying. I didn’t know what to do. To see him like this scared me. He looked like his body was in s
One night while we were home, watching tv with Damian, just two days before Rai needed to go to Bali, Damian asked a kind of, not bizarre, but a bit unusual question. “Kat, Baby girl, do you like children?” Damian asked me. “Of course. I love children, without a doubt. I like being close to children. So, of course, I want to have my own. I’m one of those women who actually want to know how it feels to be pregnant, to carry a life inside me. I even want to have natural birth rather than Cesarean birth,” I told him, smiling softly. “Natural birth? It’s excruciating, isn’t it?” He asked me again. “So they said. But I want to experience the whole process, including all the pain. Most women I know will opt for Cesarean, but I don’t. If I can, though. My body is small, so I don’t know if the doctor will allow it.” I smiled again. It was true. Most Chinese-Indonesians would ra
Rai became his usual self with each passing day. There was no pain, nor fatigue in his expressions. But I was still worried, I needed to make sure that he was okay. So while we were having breakfast together, as per our usual routine, I asked Rai to go to the doctor with Damian. “Rai, can you go to the doctor to check your health? Please.. It will make me feel so much better knowing that you are healthy, that there is nothing wrong with your health.” I looked at him pleadingly. Rai and Damian shared a look, but Damian didn’t say anything. He just continued to eat his breakfast. “I will go with Damian if it will make you feel better, Princess,” Rai said while looking at me with sadness in his eyes. “Yes. Please, Rai. Damian, please drive Rai to the hospital. And please tell me if they found anything wrong.” I looked at both of them, pleading with them. They just looked at each other but then n
The following day - the morning before Rai needed to go to Bali, he woke me up and informed me that he needed to run some errands, but he’d be back soon. As I had not slept much, I slept a little bit more. When I woke up, Rai was still nowhere to be found, but Damian was. This is the time to ask Damian about last night, I thought. I went to sit on the sofa with Damian; as usual, Damian circled his arm around me, kissing me on the cheek. “Damian?” I asked while finding comfort in his arm. “Hmm?” He caressed my hand with his thumb. “I think Rai is overwhelmed by the businesses he needs to take care of. Last night he cried and said that it hurt,” I said, sighing, pulling myself closer to Damian. “Rai cried?” Damian asked, shocked; his thumb stopped caressing my hand. “Yeah.. Could you maybe call his parents about it?” I asked h
Going to the beach with Rai was indeed awesome. The beach was not sandy. Well.. The sandy part had been closed, but there were pathways along the coast. There were many stores and restaurants along the path, so we bought food and drinks before walking down the track. We walked hand in hand. Rai picked me up and twirled us around. It was just like in the movies. Many people were looking at us. They were not used to public display of affections, but we didn't care. As long as we didn't do anything too lewd, we would be alright. We shared stories, and Rai told me about his time in the U.S. He was more talkative than usual, and I loved it. I knew much more about Rai while walking on the beach than any other time we had ever spent together. I asked him a question that had been bugging me too. “Rai, why are you single? I knew that Damian was hurt before, but what about you?” I inquired. &nb
We reached home just as dinner was served. We were famished from our walk on the beach, so we ate straight away with Damian. Rai was still the same Rai that was at the beach; open, laughing a lot, talking a lot. I could see that even Damian was amused by this Rai. After dinner, Rai asked me to come with him to the bedroom. “Enjoy, guys,” Damian smirked as he left the house. I raised my eyebrow in question but followed Rai. Rai stopped in front of the bedroom door and opened it for me. I walked in, and I was awestruck. The room was decorated in such a romantic setting. There were rose petals thrown around the floor and on the bed. Candles of all sorts were placed on every surface of every table, giving a very romantic vibe. Rai entered the room, closed the door behind him, and turned on the music. “Surprise, Princess?” He asked as he hugged me from